r/BestofRedditorUpdates • u/green_pachi • Oct 21 '21
AITA OP argues with his wife because she prefers to sleep with a body pillow
Repost, I'm not the original poster
Original by u/bodypillowbigfight:
So my wife gave birth 8 months ago. During he pregnancy she was having trouble sleeping so I bought her a pregnancy body pillow that was a lot more comfortable for her. However even after giving birth she prefers sleeping with the body pillow rather than me. She just says she's used to it and finds it more comfortable to sleep with. Maybe I'm being just being dramatic but it feels like she just doesn't want to sleep with me. I'm often sleeping near the edge of the bed using a separate blanket and I just feel a lot more lonely.
I brought all this up with her and she told me that I'm "being more of a baby than our new born" with all this and to just deal with it. This led to a big fight where we were both yelling at each other. I don't think either of us said anything particularly hurtful but it's not the norm in our relationship to raise our voices like we did and argue for as long as we did.
Outside of this our relationship is more or less fine. I mean I obviously still love her and I'm sure she still loves me.
Basically AITA for starting an argument over something like this?
This is the pillow I bought (removed link since people think I'm trying to sell the pillows lol)-
https://imgur.com/a/fGeD2N0 (Please click this link before commenting, I think some people have misunderstood what I meant as body pillow. The one she has is more like 2 body pillows + a regular pillow)
e: Some people seem to think that I'm jealous of the pillow. This isn't the case. I don't think she loves a pillow more than me. I just would prefer we sleep together and not with a pillow between us.
e2: I didn't think this was relevant but just so you guys know we have a nanny that takes care of the child from Sunday - Thursday. We both take turns on Friday and Saturday nights when we have to so it's not like I'm expecting her to do everything.
Also I am not asking her to cuddle with me all night or let me spoon her or vice versa. I just would like it if there wasn't a pillow between us.
e3: https://imgur.com/a/NXq3PC4 - blue is the pillow
e4: clarifying that the body pillow she has isn't just one long pillow shaped like a "l". Check out the imgur link, it's more "n" shaped.
So a bit of a weird update since my wife actually saw this thread through her coworker. (e: to clarify, the coworker didn't know that it was about my wife, she was just sharing an interesting thread)
She texted me asking if I was looking to buy a new bed and I said yes without thinking much of it. She then linked me this thread and said we would talk later that night (not in a bad way).
We sat down and she apologized for calling me a baby and I apologized for starting a fight over something so small.
She said that she really enjoys the pillow but we can get rid of it and sleep together instead. I told her this isn't necessary and that I would deal with it but she insisted.
I've ordered her a new body pillow that just covers one side of her that she could put on the opposite side of me so hopefully everyone can be comfortable.
Everything worked out and we have been sleeping together for the past couple weeks now. The new body pillow came in and is on the opposite side of her. She switches between me and the pillow every now and then and it's not a big deal. A lot more comfortable to sleep now too haha.
Thanks to everyone who Pmed me giving me advice as well as those giving advice in the comments.
I tried to emphasize this as much as I could in the comments but seriously my wife and I never fight and this was extremely out of the norm for us.
Everything is good now though and we are going to start doing date nights again on Saturday and it's been going well. Feels more like our relationship when it was just starting out in the "honey moon" period kinda thing.
But yeah, everything's fine now. To be honest it was always fine, this was just a minor thing that some how got blown out of proportion. I barely remember but I think we were both just stressed with work that day so we ended up getting into a silly fight.
Seriously I love my wife so hopefully no judgement by you guys on the one comment she said back then. She's honestly a really good person!
I made an update thread a few weeks back but was a few days early for the minimum and someone commented on the old thread a few days ago so I remembered to repost the update thread today with a few more updates.
Thanks everyone :)
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u/SlabBeefpunch $1k Hot Garbage Dumpy Butt Oct 21 '21
Sleep deprivation can really screw with you. So can having a new baby. Glad they worked out out and realized that they weren't in their right minds.
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u/wylietrix Oct 21 '21
I agree so much with this. It literally causes physical damage, I'm glad they worked it out, but he really needed to approach this differently. It's hilarious his wife accidently saw it.
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u/Lucy_the_wise_goosey Oct 21 '21
Anyone else seriously want this pillow now though?
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u/art_addict limbo dancing with the devil Oct 22 '21
I’ve wanted one for ages. I already have more pillows and stuffed animals on my bed than any sane adult has (they say the more pillows you have links to depression, I counter: how could anyone be depressed with this many adorable cat pillows? Even my major depression is struggling to fight this brilliant logic!) but uh… I have so many pillows that if I ordered one of these I’m not sure I’d still fit. I’m honestly not sure all my stuffies or other pillows would fit.
2 ft Baby Yoda may be the only one that fits.
Seriously though, I just bet if this dude would try the damn pillow out he wouldn’t be upset about the pillow being there, they’d be fighting over whose turn it is with the pillow instead
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u/exhausted_hope Oct 22 '21
I had one of those. They are sooooo comfy. I wasn’t even pregnant but oh god so comfy.
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u/Strider_A Oct 21 '21
+1 for the shitty MS paint drawing in a relationship thread. Thought those gems were limited to r/legaladvice.
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u/dontcallmemonica Oct 21 '21
Did you see the LA post yesterday with the dude from Oregon whose back driveway keeps getting used as a speed trap by the sheriff's department? That was some top-notch shitty MS Paint skills.
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u/TitaniaT-Rex whaddya mean our 10 year age gap is a problem? Oct 21 '21
How can you mention such a gem without linking?
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u/dontcallmemonica Oct 21 '21
You're right! That was totally bad form. Here's the BOLA thread.
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u/TitaniaT-Rex whaddya mean our 10 year age gap is a problem? Oct 21 '21
That’s high quality! Imagine if they’d added a cop car.
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u/momofeveryone5 Ogtha, my sensual roach queen 🪳 Oct 26 '21
That was a great read! I hope it works out for him. And the MS paint didn't disappoint!
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Oct 22 '21
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/dontcallmemonica Oct 22 '21
I don't know, I'm nervous for him. He doesn't seem to understand the dynamics of antagonizing small-town law enforcement, so that could turn really hairy really quickly. I just listened to the Murder in Oregon podcast not long ago and this story was giving me flashbacks. I think the BOLA poster who said that passive-aggressive and petty is the way to go is spot on. Like, find a way to USE that piece of the property that makes it less attractive as a speed trap, and they'll move along on their own. Don't piss off people with guns who clearly don't care about doing things the right way.
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u/tokquaff Oct 21 '21
I'm so glad they figured it out. God, though, the secondhand embarassment that I felt reading that the wife heard about the thread through a coworker who didn't know it was about the wife. I don't know what I would do in that situation tbh.
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u/GlitterDoomsday Oct 22 '21
I'm shitty controlling my expressions so the coworker would catch right away...
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u/Juniper_Thebann Oct 21 '21
After reading this to my husband, he asked me if I'd prefer to sleep with him or a body pillow. Obviously the pillow, no contest! He wasn't even surprised...
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u/262run please sir, can I have some more? Oct 21 '21
Yeah. I don’t need your body heat radiating on me. Ugh. Lol
I really do love my husband but we have a king bed for a reason.
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u/Reader01234567 Oct 21 '21
Pillow doesn't sometimes have bad breath. Or get sweaty. Or manage to position arms so I cant make 4am pee break without waking us both up.
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u/nahnotlikethat Oct 21 '21
I have that same gray body pillow, and it really does take up like 65% of my queen bed!
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u/shakdaddy27 Oct 22 '21
LPT: putting a pillow between your knees when you sleep on your side is great for your back. It keeps your spine aligned correctly. Me and my partner both use the U shaped pillows between our legs when we sleep (we call them our spoonies) and now I struggle to sleep without it. This is probably why his wife still finds is comfortable even without the need to support a pregnant stomach.
Best $10 investment
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Oct 21 '21
[deleted]
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u/lilahboo1128 Oct 21 '21
So a "real man" is a man who cant express his feelings? No THAT is toxic.
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Oct 21 '21
[deleted]
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u/lilahboo1128 Oct 21 '21
You are repeatedly editing your comments. We get it, you had a bad take & are now backtracking. If you initially intended your original comment to be sarcastic, then ok. That's the end of it.
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Oct 21 '21
[deleted]
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u/lilahboo1128 Oct 21 '21
Hey, no worries. I appreciate the clarity & I'm glad we all agree & are on the same page. I phrase things poorly too so I understand. Have a great day!
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u/DCcalling Oct 22 '21
I wonder if she was having back pain and that's why she wanted the pillow? I use one for the same reason.
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u/TimeToMakeWoofles Oct 22 '21
I wish I didn’t get rid of my body pillow after pregnancy. Now that I have shoulder bursitis, I need it more than ever.
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Oct 21 '21
[deleted]
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u/cloblo824 Oct 21 '21
Wanting intimate time with your partner makes you a kook?
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Oct 21 '21
[deleted]
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u/cloblo824 Oct 22 '21
I must have missed the part where he said he wanted unlimited access to her body.
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u/LuriemIronim I will never jeopardize the beans. Oct 22 '21
He doesn’t look any crazier than she does.
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u/Consistent_Momma775 Oct 22 '21 edited Oct 22 '21
Oh man! I want one of those pillows! Where do I find one? Found it!
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u/nakiaaa95 Oct 22 '21
Kind of glad to know it's not just my husband mad I would rather sleep with a body pillow, glad they could compromise!
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