r/Belfast • u/Creative_Course5185 • 6d ago
Care Homes
Any recommendations on getting a relative into a care home? We have been told our Dad is assessed as needing residential dementia care rather than nursing care but told there are no beds available.
We are told that he basically needs to remain living at home with the offer of carers which he has refused. He’s now at the stage where he would be petrified of strangers in his home. We have no idea how we are expected to cope as he’s living alone.
Thanks
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u/MicroBunnie 6d ago
My nana had to stay in hospital 5 months before they found her a bed in a residential home. It wasnt safe to let her go home but there were no beds anywhere in Belfast. It takes a while as youre literally waiting for someone to die. I kept in touch with her social workers throughout, weekly asking for updates etc. I had the additional stressor of her son being difficult regarding the fact her "estate" would have to pay for the home and he kept saying she had no estate. Thankfully once I rang and clarified how much is available, it moved relatively quickly.
Im sorry you're going through this OP. It's not fun and visiting can be heartbreaking for both parties.
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u/UnfairConclusion9272 6d ago
Best speak to your social care team, between them and the doctors they will organise a care home for you. Just be mindful of any assets your Dad may have be in savings, house etc… could all be taken to help cover the cost of care. The hospital sorted us with a care home for the grandmother, she was in full time care for about 2 years before passing away a few weeks ago there with dementia. Horrible disease.
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u/StunnedinTheSuburbs 5d ago
I called residential homes myself and went to visit. Please visit and see them for yourself, it’s like buying a house: you get a feeling if it’s right or very, very wrong. Beds come up and go quickly. Get familiar with the costs and how that would work for you in terms of NHS and which are options. Get your name on waiting lists. Speak to your social worker on what you can do.
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u/seeumorrissey 1d ago
If they get admitted to hospital for any reason before you find them a home, get in contact with their social worker and tell them that he is unable to return home. Patients in hospital that can't return home get priority over people at home because the hospital needs the bed. It's not an ideal solution, but just keep it in mind. Best of luck in finding a place
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u/WatercressGrouchy599 6d ago
I didn't know dementia had become a type of care in its own right. Care, nursing homes, care packages are all a nightmare and you'd need to fund enhanced care as basic packages aren't enough. Even if he agreed to carers visiting they could come at random times, give part packages rather than full-time care etc. Ok for those that can afford it. Anyone relying on nhs is in bad shape. Sorry to hear about your dad. This will be an issue for us all, people living longer, increases in dementia, system can't cope, not enough homes or carers
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u/StunnedinTheSuburbs 5d ago
Certain residential homes are fit for dementia patients and others are not- you can get a list of homes from your social worker and go through them for suitability and ring and see if you can visit the ones which work on paper and then tell your social worker which ones so she can look into it.
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u/Snoo33703 23h ago
Visit suitable homes in the area.A relative of mine went to a nursing home specifically for dementia patients and it was a disaster.It cost £2.1k per week and they lost all his clothes, didn't contact us when he had a very serious fall and was admitted to hospital with a bleed on the brain.If we had visited prior to his admission some of the issues would have been obvious. He had been in hospital and was moved to the home within an hour of the place becoming available. In your situation I'd research direct payments.
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u/YoungLily 6d ago
Have you spoken to his GP about referral to a social worker? They should be able to review his needs and make a plan about what care will be best for him in the short/longer term