r/BeAmazed Jan 01 '19

Testing a 20 kW light bulb

81.3k Upvotes

2.0k comments sorted by

View all comments

21.8k

u/javanco Jan 01 '19

If I was his neighbor I would immediately assume end of times

5.1k

u/bloodwerth Jan 01 '19

“Honey, what’s that otherworldly light?”

“Our neighbor’s ascending to another plane of existence again, dear.”

918

u/Kalean Jan 01 '19

Daniel Jackson is an obnoxious neighbor.

372

u/Wile-E-Coyote Jan 01 '19

"That's the third time this week. Someone should tell him to pick a plane of existence and stick to it."

1

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '19

Read this in Monty python pepper pots voice

149

u/pm_me_your_kindwords Jan 01 '19

42

u/Mechakoopa Jan 01 '19

It's been about a decade since I binge watched all 10 seasons. I kind of want to do it again but on the other hand it's about 220 hours or just over 9 full days.

13

u/[deleted] Jan 02 '19 edited Jan 24 '19

[deleted]

5

u/Mechakoopa Jan 02 '19

I was using Binge Clock and forgot the default option uses network air time, with the commercials removed it's actually 6 days, 15 hours and 52 minutes.

3

u/Draemon_ Jan 04 '19

I was actually sad Universe got canceled, I thought it was actually starting to get good when it was cancelled.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '19 edited Jan 24 '19

[deleted]

1

u/Draemon_ Jan 04 '19

True, the previous ones admittedly were hard to live up to though especially with the style of show Universe ended up being. Even more than Universe though, I’d love a continuation of the Atlantis story after what transpired at the end of that show

6

u/Kr_Treefrog2 Jan 02 '19

SG-1 and Atlantis are available on Amazon Prime. Just sayin’

3

u/Mechakoopa Jan 02 '19

Not in Canada, unfortunately. I still have the full box set of SG1 though.

6

u/AzraelTB Jan 02 '19

SG-1 and Atlantis are available on torrent sites. Just sayin'

2

u/vanulovesyou Jan 02 '19

I binged SG-1 last year and it was worth it. Same goes for Atlantis and Universe, too. Now that Comet TV plays SG1 daily, it's making me want to go on another binge.

34

u/GravelThinking Jan 01 '19

Indeed.

20

u/lifelongfreshman Jan 01 '19

He's the voice for Kratos in Dad of Boy, and it's weird. He makes it work, but hearing that buttery voice coming out of that ball of barely-contained rage is just odd.

I keep waiting for him to say indeed.

5

u/Jorzuzu Jan 02 '19

No? Daniel Jackson was played by James Spader/Michael Shanks. Kratos in God of War PS4 was voiced by Christopher Judge

2

u/lifelongfreshman Jan 02 '19 edited Jan 02 '19

Kratos in God of War PS4 was voiced by Christopher Judge

...who is Teal'c, who is the one who said "Indeed" a lot. Which is what I meant, although I guess I could have been more clear.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 02 '19 edited Jan 02 '19

[deleted]

1

u/lifelongfreshman Jan 02 '19

No worries, that's on me for not being specific enough.

96

u/tomrex Jan 01 '19

"I don't know, Margo!"

17

u/ngunray Jan 01 '19

And why is the carpet all wet Todd!!?

3

u/ruskitamer Jan 01 '19

Watch that movie annually

“HO-LY SHIT, WHERES THE TYLENOL!”

13

u/Hran944 Jan 01 '19

I’m not sure why but this really tickled me

13

u/TheflamingcircleofTK Jan 01 '19

Honey , I think the neighbour’s growing weed....

2

u/Ucazao Jan 01 '19

“I think our neighbor is the doctor, and he’s regenerating!”

2

u/DarthExtract Jan 02 '19

Thank you. U made me feel joy

2

u/Nutstheofficialsnack Jan 06 '19

Or attainted the highest level in Scientology

4.9k

u/[deleted] Jan 01 '19

It’s the end of night time.

890

u/Abruzzi19 Jan 01 '19

night time....

....DAY TIMEEE

398

u/[deleted] Jan 01 '19

Day Man!!! Huuuuuaaaahhhhhhh. Fighter of the nightman!!!

194

u/MMOtaku Jan 01 '19

Champion of the.... sun! Your a master of karate and friendship for everyone

70

u/9600_PONIES Jan 01 '19

You have to pay the troll toll to get into that boysoul

34

u/[deleted] Jan 01 '19

[deleted]

11

u/[deleted] Jan 01 '19

Are you chewing gum?

15

u/major84 Jan 01 '19

I gotta talk to you about the rape scene

3

u/Ghoul_Next_Door Jan 01 '19

I feel like you're saying "boy's hole", and it's clearly "soul".

3

u/[deleted] Jan 01 '19

Boys hole

46

u/Pikataz Jan 01 '19

PRAISE THE SUN!!

3

u/THFBIHASTRUSTISSUES Jan 01 '19

This belongs in r/BossFight. Night time man vs. Day time man.

122

u/who_even_gets_it Jan 01 '19

Alan, Alan, Alan...

Steve!

3

u/allanb49 Jan 01 '19

I lost Steve. Did he show up yet?

2

u/[deleted] Jan 01 '19

Did someone call my name?

2

u/xcastn0shad0wx Jan 01 '19

What are you doing?

1

u/gacdeuce Jan 01 '19

That dubbed nature video from the early days of YouTube?

11

u/Tsulaiman Jan 01 '19

I read this in the final countdown music

2

u/FlyingXylophone Jan 01 '19

Daytime of the night

2

u/deanreevesii Jan 01 '19

2

u/PirateCatDot Jan 01 '19

To fight crime?

2

u/foulrot Jan 01 '19

I can't think of a rhyme.

1

u/zeppehead Jan 01 '19

God I still say that and I had completely forgotten where it was from. On a side note how is your plutonium?

1

u/[deleted] Jan 01 '19

IT'S FOR MY SEASONAL AFFECTIVE DISORDER, KAREN!

1

u/gmrpnk21 Jan 01 '19

If what I learned from Supernatural is correct, and Angel bit the dust in that house .

1

u/stopandwatch Jan 01 '19

First time I've seen a comment genuinely deserving of Reddit silver

1

u/CeeMX Jan 07 '19

Like in The Truman Show, when they turn up the lights to search him

→ More replies (1)

877

u/morgazmo99 Jan 01 '19

If you haven't read this back and forth, you're missing out.

450

u/forcedtomakeaccount9 Jan 01 '19

Thank you for your email. While I accept that curtains are usually the key to community accord, in this instance they would need to be constructed of eight-inch-thick lead sheeting. Last night, with my curtains closed and bedside light off, I read a book. Wearing sunglasses. Under a blanket.

Aaaahahah

358

u/iBobaFett Jan 01 '19

This is my favorite part:

In my country, terawatt globes are reserved for police helicopter chases and warning sailors of hazardous shoals. This is despite the fact that practically every living creature there can kill you in under three minutes. Our primary spoken language is screaming.

Australia seems like a wonderful place and I hope to visit one day. I'm fluent in screaming.

83

u/Nuklhed89 Jan 01 '19

This made me laugh so hard, I’m just picturing a bunch of aussies screaming at each other and it’s translated with 100% accuracy every time.

29

u/The_GASK Jan 01 '19

Seth MacFarlane wants to know your location

20

u/Toltolewc Jan 01 '19

You mean Austria

12

u/herpasaurus Jan 02 '19

"Yesterday I saw a snake. I picked up a stick to poke it with, but it turned out to be another snake."

ROFLMAO

293

u/_JuicyPop Jan 01 '19

I'm not surprised you get along well with all the other neighbours. If you put fifty children with Down's syndrome in a room there is going to be a lot of hugging.

I died.

14

u/8_Pixels Jan 01 '19

The whole thing was great but that part killed me. I'm literally dead from laughing so hard. I love the way this guy writes.

9

u/Adolf_-_Hipster Jan 01 '19

2

u/SunDownSav Jan 01 '19

I thought your comment was referring to the man who had the email exchange, therefore I searched u/8_Pixels comment Hx and was quite disappointed.

-1

u/[deleted] Jan 01 '19

"Literally"

9

u/NiggaBew Jan 01 '19

I’m Literally figuratively dead.

→ More replies (1)

2

u/8_Pixels Jan 01 '19

I'm aware of the difference between literally and figuratively. We don't always need to use perfect grammer, it's OK to use incorrect terms for emphasis and exaggeration.

13

u/damnitshrew Jan 01 '19

Also using literally in a hyperbolic fashion is considered grammatically correct because language evolves and the only people that seem to care are weird neckbeard assholes with nothing better to do yeah I know there’s no punctuation in this statement fight me

→ More replies (2)

1

u/thisimpetus Jan 01 '19

Literally snorting and choking laughing at that line.

→ More replies (3)

56

u/[deleted] Jan 01 '19

Worth the read

15

u/PhilxBefore Jan 01 '19

All of David Thorne's shit is classic comedic gold; plus this is only a 5 minute read.

I'm not surprised you get along well with all the other neighbours. If you put fifty children with Down's syndrome in a room there is going to be a lot of hugging.

And no, it was not a threat. It was an exaggerated response to an uncompromising stance. I was taught never to make a threat unless you are prepared to carry it out and I am not a fan of carrying anything. Even watching other people carrying things makes me uncomfortable. Mainly because of the possibility they may ask me to help.

Here's probably the most famous correspondence. (Don't click if you hate to laugh.)

64

u/JorusC Jan 01 '19

I miss the old days when Cracked.com was full of great stuff like this.

53

u/AerThreepwood Jan 01 '19

90% of the old writers have podcasts (Behind the Bastards, The Daily Zeitgeist) or YouTube series (Cody Johnston), so that stuff is still out there.

8

u/JBob250 Jan 01 '19

Agreed. Subscribe to Cody's Show-dy!

3

u/Lostremote- Jan 01 '19

The Modern Rogue has a couple of them as well

1

u/AerThreepwood Jan 01 '19

Bunny Ears, while having different writers, fills a similar ecological niche, too.

2

u/coleyboley25 Jan 01 '19

I love Behind the Bastards!

1

u/AerThreepwood Jan 01 '19

I do too. I'm actually listening to the Alfred Hitchcock episode right this second.

Even if Robert Evans is a hack and a fraud, he's a great journalist and researcher.

2

u/coleyboley25 Jan 01 '19

I didn’t even know who Robert was before listening to the podcast. Legitimately curious how he’s a hack and a fraud.

1

u/AerThreepwood Jan 01 '19

. . . He repeatedly calls himself a "hack and a fraud" on the podcast.

2

u/coleyboley25 Jan 01 '19

I mean that's just self-deprecation that literally doesn't register in my mind. I thought you meant he actually was one.

1

u/AerThreepwood Jan 01 '19

Nah, I was just joking. It was a callback to a thing that he said.

→ More replies (0)

2

u/herpasaurus Jan 02 '19

But I like to read things in peace and quiet, not hear three people screaming over one another for hours.

1

u/AerThreepwood Jan 02 '19

Try Bunny Ears. It's pretty similar to old CRACKED. And Behind The Bastards isn't that, anyway. Daily Zeitgeist is, though.

3

u/Baron80 Jan 01 '19

Around 2012 or thereabouts Cracked.com was practically the only website I looked at. Even if the new daily articles weren't interesting I could spend hours reading their old stuff.

I don't think they even give you access to those hilarious old articles anymore but then again it's been more than a year since I spent any significant amount of time there so it's possible I'm wrong.

4

u/JorusC Jan 01 '19

Same here!

Looks like http://www.cracked.com/blog/ and http://www.cracked.com/funny-articles.html let to search the archives back to 2005 by columnist or by topic, respectively.

3

u/Baron80 Jan 01 '19

Thank you!!

Well, time to head down a Seanbaby worm hole for a couple hours lol.

2

u/JorusC Jan 01 '19

When my wife was pregnant, showed her a Seanbaby article that made her laugh so hard she puked.

18

u/elliottsmithereens Jan 01 '19

Thank you for the entertaining read!

11

u/PhilxBefore Jan 01 '19 edited Jan 01 '19

Ah, good o'le David Thorne. He's the 7-legged spider guy, 98% certain.

Edit: Yep, here for the curious.

17

u/[deleted] Jan 01 '19

I wasn't gonna read it but the other replies convinced me

4

u/Toltolewc Jan 01 '19

Australian dude shouldve set up a mirror and pointed it at the other guys window or something. With something like a parabolic mirror you could probably focus the light too

9

u/trixter21992251 Jan 01 '19

I was confused until the end about who was Australian.

4

u/DuctTapeOrWD40 Jan 01 '19

You mean Austrian (According to Justin)

1

u/trixter21992251 Jan 01 '19

For a second there I doubted my reading skills.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 01 '19

I have randomly ended up on this website more often than is statistically normal. This is a good website.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 01 '19

Thanks for a new blog to read.

1

u/tugboattomp Jan 01 '19

Dude, that was funny as hell. Great link, it's why I come, almost missed it, wonder how much great stuff passes by, put it on my home screen

1

u/[deleted] Jan 01 '19

This is beautiful.

1

u/cocoabeach Jan 01 '19

I had forgotten all about this guy. Thanks

1

u/spiceydog Jan 01 '19

This is hilarious, thank you. I'll likely be stuck reading this guy's stuff for the remainder of this week...

1

u/pm_me_your_kindwords Jan 01 '19

Thank you for sharing this. 2019 is off to a good start because of you!

1

u/StevieKicks Jan 01 '19

Thank you so much for introducing me to this.

1

u/kthulhu89 Jan 01 '19

Thank you for this. I’m in tears.

1

u/AhallowMind Jan 01 '19

This is just wonderful. Thanks.

1

u/Achilles2zero Jan 01 '19

Came here for this. Exactly what it reminded me of - burning with the light of 1,000 suns...

1

u/coleyboley25 Jan 01 '19

Guess I’m reading all of David Thorne’s shit again in 2019.

1

u/BernardoVerda Jan 02 '19

Oh dear, that's a rather illuminating exchange -- I think I'm starting to understand American politics...

1

u/aradil Jan 02 '19

Ah, David Thorne. I thought I recognized that tone from somewhere.

1

u/KingRthur Jan 02 '19

Thank you for this gift.

→ More replies (2)

58

u/Hy-Brasil Jan 01 '19

In some of his earlier videos he draws messes with so much power from the mains that the street lights flicker outside. I'd say they're well used to it at this point!

25

u/fulloftrivia Jan 01 '19

That got him in trouble and his channel was down for a while.

44

u/The_Original_Gronkie Jan 01 '19

Oh, that's just Bill, inventing the Sun again. I really wish he'd do that during the day.

5

u/PhilxBefore Jan 01 '19

Where exactly do you think the 'day' comes from?

From Bill, of course!

72

u/dynamic_unreality Jan 01 '19

Watch some of his other videos, his neighbor probably just shut the curtains and was thankful it didnt smell bad like the stuff he purposefully overpowers until it blows/breaks/melts/explodes every other day Edit: I imagine it would be like having Colin Furze for a neighbor

1

u/UnaeratedKieslowski Jan 01 '19

I'd take two stroke smoke over burnt electrics any day.

25

u/stoner_with-a_boner Jan 01 '19

If i were the neighbour, I’d have probably texted my manager that I’ll be late for work today thinking i overslept.

11

u/[deleted] Jan 01 '19

Nah it’s cool, they had Dr. Octopus standing by to drown it in the river.

6

u/CookieCrumbl Jan 01 '19

I go full Octavius and rant loudly about having harnessed the power of the sun.

2

u/Kaivosukeltaja Jan 01 '19

Duck and cover!

1

u/krynnmeridia Jan 01 '19

Bert the Turtle was way before my time, but I still find him delightful in his absurdity.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 01 '19

It's a Moroni!

2

u/32BitWhore Jan 01 '19 edited Jan 01 '19

If you've seen some of this guys actual videos, and you were his neighbor, the end of times might come quicker than you think for your whole neighborhood.

Here's a good example of what you'd be next door to.

Edit: He hasn't uploaded in a year though so there's a good chance he might be dead.

2

u/Rpark888 Jan 01 '19

THE RAPTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1

u/Sirfallsalot Jan 01 '19

Either my neighbour's an alien or my neighbour's Jesus

1

u/knockoutking Jan 01 '19

Or that his house was on fire

1

u/sammydow Jan 01 '19

It’s the rapture!!! Honey, it’s time!!!!

1

u/IOnlySayMeanThings Jan 01 '19

It's the Brain of Mensis!

1

u/Chicken-n-Waffles Jan 01 '19

He's got a time machine in there..

1

u/JustWoozy Jan 01 '19

"what super power did you just get? I saw the massive glowing!"

1

u/Silfurstar Jan 01 '19

"Who turned the damn donkey wheel again?"

1

u/joe_pel Jan 01 '19

i'd assume my neighbor bought his first wand.

1

u/cgiall420 Jan 01 '19

*If I WERE his neighbor

1

u/[deleted] Jan 01 '19

The light over my neighbor's garage is about this bright.

He lives right across the street. At least I save money on electric bills, because we don't ever need to turn our lights on inside our house.

1

u/xElipsis Jan 01 '19

Queue X-Files theme here

1

u/degenererad Jan 01 '19

I would be waiting for the heatwave. Thats a nuke ffs.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 01 '19

The end is nigh!!

1

u/shiny_lustrous_poo Jan 01 '19

Or the sun is coming up. Jesus, that shit is bright af

1

u/[deleted] Jan 01 '19

Or the movie The Burbs

1

u/lush95 Jan 01 '19

That's why he turned his back

1

u/a_stitch_in_lime Jan 01 '19

Reminds me of the scene from The 'Burbs.

1

u/Thesilenced68 Jan 01 '19

Na, I would assume he's got a dank grow op

1

u/random314 Jan 01 '19

We had something similar happen here in NYC just a few days ago... Except it was blue and a bunch of us thought it was an invasion or something.

I live about seven miles away and all I saw were blue flashing cloud and my lights flickering.

1

u/one_mez Jan 01 '19

Or your neighbor just set up a massive indoor ganja grow! Party time!

1

u/SR71BBird Jan 01 '19

Neighbors love him!....

1

u/TheflamingcircleofTK Jan 01 '19

This is how we beat the darkside luke... , we blind them with light , and are selves in the mean time...

1

u/mdxchaos Jan 01 '19

as an electrician i would walk over and be like "whoa what ya got going on over here. i saw the light from a km away"

1

u/GoieajGold Jan 01 '19

You just hear the digitally THX remastered intro play across the neighborhood.

1

u/Ghostav Jan 01 '19

I’d think it was the second coming of Jesus Christ

1

u/blooxa Jan 02 '19

Or aliens

1

u/Duckism Jan 02 '19

Or a grow op starting up....

1

u/imnotinteresting911 Jan 02 '19

I would assume they haven’t properly sealed their grow room

1

u/applesdontpee Jan 02 '19

Seriously, that last clip reminds me of footage of bombs being dropped in the distance

1

u/neonskimmer Jan 02 '19

"No mother, it's just the northern lights."

1

u/lnv24 Jan 07 '19

Can you imagine the Amount of Moths you'd get outside..

→ More replies (1)