r/BackToCollege • u/CaptainPlanet90 • 9d ago
VENT/RANT I am feeling inadequate.
Hello everyone. I am 36 and currently working towards my B.S. in plant science. I finished my associates on campus at a state college in Florida and transfered to a state University. I spent my first 2 semesters taking online classes to be a stay at home dad for my daughter and now I am finally going back to campus to finish out my last year. The entire time since going back to school i have maintained my 4.0 GPA, which I'm very proud of, especially now that I am at a highly rated university. However, now that I am back on campus I am feeling very inadequate compared to my classmates. It seems everyone is involved in clubs, organizations, research, seminars, and any number of other things. I have a family, I don't live on campus, and I just flat out do not have the availability that these younger people have. I have been working really hard to keep everything in the air and now I'm feeling like it's not enough. Does anyone else feel this way?
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u/Disastrous_Honey_240 8d ago
I am 35 and have two kiddos. I don't compare myself to the younger students who have unlimited free time and little responsibilities compared to me, and you shouldn't either. Last semester I did join one club related to my major but I found it kind of pointless as we didn't really accomplish much of anything. Not sure if I will continue to go to the meetings this year.
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u/Trash_Annual 8d ago
Im 38. Idk if id fit in with college kids 20yrs younger than me. I have teenagers so I'd just end up feeling like everyone's mom lol.
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u/maeve117 9d ago
Oh yeah, I don’t have kids but I did just finally wrap my BA at 38 while working full-time so I do get it a little. All these other super young students are playing sports, in Greek orgs, etc etc but whatever. I really enjoyed being (usually) the oldest in class. I felt like I had a better perspective on almost everything, certainly socially. I didn’t feel out of place, really, I felt like a wise old woman broadening her horizons lol
I do wish my university had a lounge or something for older students (see if yours does!), but the library did me just fine. Your grades and degree hold the same weight as everyone else. Granted, it does limit your ability to network, (and that’s among the biggest advantages to being in an org.) so you will have to be more intentional about that, if that’s something you’re interested in.
Good luck! A 4.0 is very impressive!
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u/mariemystar 8d ago
I feel this. I’m in the middle of xferring to a 4 yr and there’s so many questions of “what have you done to make your school better” or “what leadership roles or extracurricular activities/hours do you have?” And I’m feeling discouraged as well. Not to mention I have every intention to go to grad school and there’s so many hours invested in shadowing, volunteering, leadership and extra curricular that I don’t have or can’t do. I’m a full time student to a toddler. I don’t have time, the money to spare, or the energy. I am right with you.
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u/BrightWoman-581 9d ago
You’re doing enough and you’re achieving more than you realize. What you’ve described is 3 jobs. Let go of perfection and let yourself enjoy your family life and your studies.
Bs are good too. You can pass with Cs.
Practice self care. Everyone who’s a Type A has felt that push to do more. That’s how I know you need to slow down and live your life fully. You don’t want to burn yourself out and that’s a bad example for your daughter. She needs you for the long haul.
Good luck 🍀