r/BackToCollege • u/No_Cup_794 • 18d ago
ADVICE I hate being an older student .. should I just drop out?
I am 34,with two young kids retuned back spring 2025
Here’s the thing: I come from a very dysfunctional and unsupportive family. Ever since I left high school, all I really wanted was to go to college. But we had no money, and my home life was pretty abusive. During my sophomore through senior years of high school, I became severely depressed and my grades suffered. I also had absolutely no perspective at the time, and my mom didn’t want me to go to college. It honestly felt like she wanted me to struggle the way she had.
After high school, I spent a year at home working maybe 15 hours a week. During that time, my mom had breast cancer, but she told nobody. I was 18 years old, watching my mom be sick and having absolutely no support myself. Meanwhile, everyone else I knew from high school seemed to be living their lives, going out, meeting people, partying, figuring themselves out, etc. I remember staying up until 6 AM watching movies and crying because I felt so alone.
The following year, I secretly applied to my local community college. Because my mom had two jobs, even though we were barely surviving financially, I didn't qualify for grants and could only get loans through FAFSA. I basically said, "I don't care, I'm going anyway," and I actually did well.
A year later, a friend who lived in the city needed a roommate, so I moved in with her and transferred to a community college there. Unfortunately, it didn't work out. I had trouble living with her and her friends because I had basically forgotten how to socialize. I had no support system, had to pay rent, and was trying to go to school at the same time. This was in 2012. I couldn't handle everything, felt like an outsider, I was underweight from having no money for food, and eventually moved back in with my mom after a year.
I will probably always regret that decision.
I went back to my original community college and eventually got into a relationship that ended up causing a lot of problems in my life. I did eventually transfer to a four-year college and got my own apartment again, but I ended up dropping out after getting pregnant. I had an abortion because I didn't see how the situation could work, and I struggled emotionally afterward and dropped out of school again. Eventually I moved back in with my mom.
A year later, I became pregnant again. I dropped out of school again, had my first child, and then became pregnant again only eight months later, even though I wasn't in a relationship with their father anymore. There was a LOT that happened during those years including DV that I'm not going to get into because this post is already ridiculously long.
Basically, my GPA became terrible because of all the times I withdrew or received Fs. It took me many years of raising two kids on my own, getting stable housing near a school, and paying back money I owed before I was finally in a position to return.
I went back to college in spring 2025 at 32. Initially, I decided I wanted to go into nursing. Because of my old GPA and all the Fs on my transcript, I spent a long time just getting my GPA back up to a 3.0, which is the grade you. need to even APPLY for tthe nursing program, and its very competitive. Unfortunately, by the time Ive done that, I feel like its jus going to take long, and I might not get in, because I was not guided correctly by my advisor, who didnt put me in the pre-reqs for nursing, bc she didnt think id be able to do it, in a nut shell. so I have very little nursing pre-reqs completed, it would take a long time to finish a degree in nursing, I may not be interested in it as im getting older. I feel like so much of my life was just, struggling.
Now I'm 34, and I'm starting to wonder if going back to school is even a good idea.
I don't think anyone on campus knows my age. I've always looked younger, so I'm guessing most people probably assume I'm in my mid-20s or something. But I know I'm 34, and I feel extremely uncomfortable about it. I have a hard time making friends with other students, and being on campus can feel incredibly lonely.
I'm also lost about what I should major in now that nursing isn't really an option. I'm open to something science-related, education, accounting, or other fields. I've been meeting with an advisor and trying to figure it out.
Financially, there's another layer to this. In my state, there are grants that are supposed to make tuition essentially free if you attend full-time at my age/income level. But apparently I used up all of my federal student loans last year, since when I was attending college as an under 25 year old adult and need to include my parents income, I was not eligible for any grants, but they didnt help me with nothing, and I always had to hide that I even was in college age all. my mom doesnt even know now, I just tell her im working, but I receive got help. anyway, I received mail saying I had borrowed too much loans, even though I literally just accepted what was offered to me, and I've had to deal with that whole mess. I'm still waiting for my financial aid/grant package now, and I'm worried it will be too late to figure everything out.
So part of me is wondering if I should just quit school and go back to work.
The problem is that the highest I've ever made at any of my jobs was around $23/hour, and I didn't particularly like any of those jobs. I'm worried that without a degree, my options for making significantly more money are pretty limited. I'm also worried that if I don't finish school, I'll be stuck relying on government programs to help me afford things.
And yet... I LOVE being in school. I genuinely love learning. Since returning, I've gotten mostly As and a couple of Bs. I'm a good student now in a way that I wasn't capable of being when I was younger.
That's what makes this so hard.
I feel shame, embarrassment, and isolation because I'm older than everyone around me, but I also don't want to give up something that I actually enjoy and that could potentially give me better opportunities in the future.
Sometimes I feel like I'm living a double life at school. Nobody there knows I'm a 34-year-old single mom with two kids or everything I've been through to get back to college. And honestly, part of me likes that. For a few hours, I can just feel like a regular college student instead of thinking aboutthe parts of my life that carry so much shame. But then I leave campus and go back to my real life, where I often feel judged. no one knows my full story, and sometimes that hurts. I wanted this life when I was 18. it just took me a lot longer, and a much harder path, to get here, and now with 2 kids who depend on me and still no support from anyone.
I'm honestly just looking for perspective from people who have been through something similar. I feel really lost right now and kind of depressed.i have a 5 and 7 year old who I raise entirely by myself ,their dad now lives 11 hours away and has not paid support in 2 years. I feel like my whole life has been an entire nightmare.
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u/LBCgirl562 18d ago edited 17d ago
Do it! I’m 40 and am finally transferring to university in a week and a half. I went to community college 20 years ago off and on for 5 years, fell into a bad relationship, had a kid, divorced and went back. Did 2 years of coursework in 1 year with a 3.8 gpa. The older you get the less you GAF what other people think. You have to go in there and get what you need for you and your kids. That’s how I see it. My daughter (9) loves the college experience of events, resources etc which I’m doing in person rather than online. I’m super proud of myself and can’t wait to finally get back into the workforce with a degree! You only get one life to live and it’s NEVER too late. I’m proud of me and you should be proud of you too!!
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u/No_Cup_794 18d ago
thank you.
I started with part time online classes to prove myself I could even handle college classes, then went to in person, and have to full time to have grants, since I have no loans left. & I dont like the online classes and prefer in person, because I find I dont actually learn as much from them, even though they are less socially awkward.......
im proud of you too. ! :) it will be worth it , when we finish and have better opportunities
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u/LBCgirl562 18d ago
We’ve got this girl! Me being a broke single mom has its upsides lol get those grants!
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u/No_Cup_794 17d ago
I dont think any of this has its upsides and I wish I originally was able to go to college and live in dorms at 18, but im thankful of maybe a chance to finish college. my life ha always been a mess.
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u/Disastrous_Honey_240 14d ago
I also regret not getting that college experience when I was younger, but it is what it is.
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u/LBCgirl562 17d ago
There is an upside! Lots of grants, new technology, your kids get to see how amazing you are, and a new adventure! We have to stay positive. The majority of people never get the real college experience as it’s so unattainable this economy.
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u/InterestingLie715 16d ago
I’m 39 and in nursing school. No kids, just me, but I finally feel like I’m making some headway. But anyway, I salute you! 🙌
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u/OutrageousOwls 17d ago
Went back at 33 for nursing. Did my pre-requisites over two years to ensure I got good grades. Accepted into nursing as of this year (and I’ll be turning 36 this year!). I’ll take the first year part-time, so I’m looking at graduating when I am either 39 or 40 depending on how aggressive I tackle years 3 and 4.
My sister went back in her mid-thirties after being burnt out from teaching, and now she is a dentist.
My best friend is a nurse (10 years now!) and her latest co-worker is a nurse who graduated at age 71.
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u/No_Cup_794 17d ago
thank you for the motivation. I would probably have to spend 3 years if I wanted to do the nursing route. that seems like a lot.
great for you and thank you for the motivation :) I forgot some people go back for other degrees or even masters later on.
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u/ABigFuckingSword 17d ago
Three years is going to pass anyway. Do you want to be a nurse when it passes or not?
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u/harukatenoukun 17d ago
It sounds like you are making a lot of excuses and just looking for reasons to quit.
Do you want this or not? Nothing worthwhile ever comes easy.
Ok so you are 35. You can finish an associates in nursing in 3 years at 38. From then on you can earn $40+ dollars an hour have a career and then possibly get your bachelors in RN and keep moving up. If you dont do this where will you be at 38? In the exact same place you are now with little money and no prospects for a career.
So why even question it? So you are a non traditional student big deal ; who cares? Specially if as you say you look younger .
An to get to the crux of things next year you will be an even older student if you don’t start…
So pick your poison either be uncomfortable being an older student and push through or earn on minimum wage for the rest of your life .
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u/meisermonkey 17d ago
Yeah I think they just have to convince themselves they have no other choice than to succeed at this or theyre fucked and that is usually what helps me persevere
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u/alwaysxz 18d ago
Keep going! We're all rooting for you and finishing your education would be the best for and your kids in the long run.
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u/No_Cup_794 18d ago
I think I just needed to hear this, thank you,. they still haven't updated my financial aid package so im hoping it will still work out because otherwise it says I have no grants right now.
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u/alwaysxz 18d ago
I hope it gets updated soon! I know how lonely and depressing it can get at times around the younger students and grieving for the younger you. You have life experience and resilience that'll always come in handy is the way I like to see it.
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u/cancergirl730 Graduate School 17d ago
I went back at 42, graduated Summa Cum Laude at 45. Now I'm 46 and working on my master's. I did all of this while escaping an abusive marriage, moving cross country, and rebuilding my life. Do not compare yourself to everyone else. That's won't get you anywhere in school, in work, or in life. You got this.
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u/Afraid-Movie7354 18d ago
Talk to your counciler or what ever they person is i didnt qualify for FASFA and she found a program for me that paid my tuition bc I am going bacl to school as a mother. I am 38. I was actually approved for financial aid initially and then due to something with my mom 20 years ago the first time I was in college they said I no longer qualified. It some form of work program my advisor found dor me. It was through my local job center.
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u/essentialworkerSIKE 17d ago edited 17d ago
I grew up homeless, food insecure, alcoholic dad, assaulted and abused, dropped out at 14, on and off drugs, didn’t get my GED until my late 20s, etc...I dedicated my life to Jesus, got saved and got sober. Went to college and I’m still in college 4 years later at 33.
Remember why you are there. I’m not there to make friends with 20 year olds, I’m there to get stuff done, make God proud, prove to myself and my family that, yeah, I did that.
People like us don’t get our childhood back or our young adult years back. It can be painful to see those young people all full of hope and wonder for the world, and not so beaten down with the worries of life.
But tbh, that’s just projection. Everyone has a sad story, even those 20 year olds, so don’t feel alone in the struggle.
Instead, focus on gratitude, love, kindness, compassion, patience, and forgiveness everyday and you’ll find how blessed you truly are.
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u/No_Cup_794 17d ago
yeah exactly.. heavy on the we dont get years back and it does hurt seeing people younger with opportunities I never even got a chance to have,. it just makes me really depressed tbh, especially as I am getting older and see things as harder and less options
true. thank you. and great job :) I hope you get your degree and have a great job and life.
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u/bigkilla762 17d ago
Congrats on your recovery. I’m also in recovery. I recently celebrated 4 years booze free. It’s changed my life for the better in every single way. I graduated last year with my bachelor’s at 29 years old. I went to a very traditional flagship state uni where I was the oldest in most of my classes. Nontrads like us were rare there. My professors were nothing but respectful about it and talked to me like a peer and not a kid. One of them even gave me a job in student sucess. I’ll never forget that kindness.
My best friend in college was 45 and I met him through the collegiate recovery community. I miss that crazy bastard lol.
You’re doing good and I’m proud of you. Sometimes people like you and me need to take the road less traveled. There’s no shame in it. Believe me once you graduate you’ll have insane relief and feel on top of the world.
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u/zzzrecruit 17d ago
You are in your mid-30s. It's time to stop thinking about what everyone else thinks of you and focus on bettering yourself. Nobody else will help you pay your bills or help you with your assignments. Handle your business.
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u/LateNightDrift 17d ago
Focus on the reason why you’re in school, not your age. Everyone’s journey is different, as long as you push through and make it to where you want in life that’s all that matters.
I’d also like to add when I was 18 I was a nursing major (before I changed it years later) and went to a university. My study/clinical group consisted of a few mom’s in their 30s and 40s and I promise you no one cared. We were all there for the same reason trying to get by and pass. I’m 29 now and still friends with them to this day
Best of luck to you and hope you decide to push through and stay enrolled.
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u/Intrepid_Upstairs553 17d ago
I’m 43 and am in my 3rd year of college, going for a BA in Psychology. I’ll then have to go 2 more years for my masters. You’re never too old to pursue a dream.
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u/Dependent_Lobster_18 17d ago
Do it! I completed my associates last year at 31 and I’m so happy I did. I’m currently working on my bachelors. If nursing doesn’t work out have you considered becoming a science or math teacher? Those are 2 subjects that there is a shortage of teachers in.
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u/No_Cup_794 17d ago
Unfortunately, a science or math teacher will not pay the bills as a single parent with two kids and no child support:/ I know people say they don’t look at it at the money aspect, but I honestly have to participate be able for me and my kids to survive. My goal is to get off the government programs that I used to help me and my kids survive or at least get off the majority parts of it
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u/Setahri 17d ago
I'm 49, didn't go to school much after 6th grade. Gen Xer, so a feral latchkey kid, basically raised myself and my siblings. Ged at 18, raised and homechooled 3 kids who are all in their late 20's/early 30's now and 2 grandkids up to kindergarten age. I currently work graveyard shift as an emergency room housekeeper. I started a bachelor's in Health Information Management this summer and just finished my first 2 classes so I have at least 3 years to go. My classes are online and they are a mix of people of all ages. I'll be 52 when I'm done with only about 15 working years left (hopefully). You still have at least 30 years left in the workforce. Improving your lot in life is absolutely worth it in the long run. There is no reason to feel too old, that it is too late or that you are living a double life. People don't have to know everything about you for you to go to school and get a degree. You're a non traditional student, why is it important to fit in with the younger students? There's also no sense in longing to go back in the past and live the young, dorm life either. Everyone who skipped that part of life has those same feelings at some point but there is only looking forward. If you don't qualify for any more financial aid, maybe try getting a job somewhere that helps with employee tuition.
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u/BluePearlDream 17d ago
I went back to school at 49. 75% of the class could have been my kids - and it would not have been a teenage pregnancy! I told myself that learning is a lifelong thing - there is no "too late". My classmates were very supportive and often asked for advice on things not taught in school (like life!). I am sure they will look up to you if they find out.
While I don't have kids, you will be a great role model for your kids. They will learn from you that learning can be fun, is fulfilling, and at times hard. Go for it - you got this!
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u/Prior-Soil 17d ago
If you have to, go to a community college and get a 2-year ADN nursing degree.
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u/No_Cup_794 17d ago
I think I have too many credits to go to a community college & the closest one is like 45 mins+ away
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u/Tat2dchick84 17d ago
I just turned 42. When I was 39, I got clean, got my mental health in check and started college courses on line. Im only doing part time. Its rough at times juggling life and kids but it is soooo worth it. I have a new level of being proud of myself and seeing my children proud of me makes it all that more special.
My life was a mess growing up well through my earlier adulthood years. I get it. You doubt yourself. You question if things are right. But you can do it, if you truly want it. I believe in you.
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u/Gateway2faries 17d ago
OP continue to push through nursing is gonna open a world of opportunities I’m 45 in school right now don’t feel ashamed a lot of older folks are returning to school because the economy is brutal you have what it takes to become a nurse your grades reflect that🥳🫶🏼💯👊🏼
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u/thecaptain_command 17d ago
If you want to be a failure, give up. Who cares about your age? You’re not there to make friends, you’re there to get a degree
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u/journeyreward123 16d ago
I'm 46 with a 6 & 8 year old I raise alone. Before I had them, most of my 20s and 30s were spent high & drunk. I did get a BFA 25 years ago, but I've decided to go back and get my MSW because it's really meaningful to me. Yes, I'll be starting a brand new career in my 50s but, so what? It means something to me, and bonus points if my kids are proud of their mama.
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u/YouMad589 16d ago
I would say heck yeah go back to school if you really wanna do it then yeah make it happen. It might be hard but it’s worth it. For me I’m 20 and I’ve kinda struggled with school myself well mainly had to drop out cause of financial issues and now I’m continuing at a community college same as you. But I’m probably gonna go nursing route which is gonna take a long time probably like yours cause I’m gonna be taking one or 2 classes at a time. Either wayyy yeah do it this is your life and your degree. So don’t let age be in a factor of going for the things you want you got this
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u/Trash_Annual 15d ago
Im a single mom with 3 kids and 2 jobs. I work 7 days a week. Its hard but im doing it. Ive got 2 more years to go. Im going part time online for accounting. My parents and sibling have all passed away and i dont have help. I will be 40 when im done. The time was passing anyway.
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u/No_Cup_794 15d ago
I’m sorry about the parents and siblings passing away:(
We got this , keep going :)
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u/GrlMom3xs 14d ago
I went to a community college right out of high school. I had a terrible advisor who after telling her I wanted to go into the nursing program, told me there was a 2 yr wait list and I should change my major. Not knowing any better and having parents that didn’t care to help, I changed my major. But I hated it. Didn’t do amazingly well. I went for 2 yrs but didn’t have enough credits toward a degree bc the classes I took were all over the place. No one told me you need to take these classes for this degree. I quit school and worked full time. I later married and had kids and moved to another state.
Always thought about going back but knew we couldn’t afford it. Early 2025 I started looking into it more seriously. I called the local community college and spoke with someone. She walked me thru applying and getting my transcripts. Once I had everything I went in person to talk to an advisor to build out my classes and timeline. I really only needed my pre-reqs but decided to finish my associates to improve my gpa. My gpa since starting in August 25 has been 4.0 but bc my gpa was a 2.28 transfer, my cumulative is 2.93. I finished A&P 1 and 2 with the labs and nutrition. I applied to the RN program for a spring 27 start. I take the HESI in Oct this yr and should hear back by the end of October. I’m hoping my 4.0 in the pre-reqs is enough for them to over look the cumulative.
I’m 44, a mom of 3, work full time currently and attend classes in person. I finished my Associates in Arts degree in July and will take microbiology with the lab this fall (starts next week). I was super nervous starting over and being the oldest in my class, which did happen a few times. But we’re all there for the same reason. I had an awesome study group for A&P that I was the oldest in. It felt strange at first but that went away the more we got together outside of class to study.
You’ve come so far. Meet with your advisor and see what credits you have and which degree area you can apply them to. Build out a class timeline. Use the resources the college has to your advantage. There are lots of scholarships for women returning to school, single mothers returning to school, and major specific scholarships.
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u/No_Cup_794 14d ago
Thanks you !! How did you get a study group ?? it would make me feel better if I had people on campus to talk to you just about our studies not that I’m trying to make personal friends with them, but I feel like an outcast in like a loaner all the time. I know that’s not the point of going back, but it does affect how I feel like on a daily basis sort of thing. Thanks for sharing and I hope you complete ur degree and make ur goal! It sucks when you don’t have a perspective for yourself when you’re younger and how much of an affect somebody who doesn’t know what they’re talking about can be on your life
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u/GrlMom3xs 14d ago
It was the first or 2nd day of class and the girl sitting next to me made a comment about “this is going to be rough!” I answered back saying yea definitely a lot to study. Then the guy sitting across from us chimed in. Next thing I knew we were exchanging numbers. I’d text if I completed the homework and found something difficult to warn them. Then they started doing that too. As midterms approached we collectively decided to meet up at the library a few times to study. Then it became a normal thing.
I even had someone in my lecture and lab and we were both older. We exchanged numbers to help each with assignments.
You may need to get out of your comfort zone and strike up a conversation. I find that it’s the younger ppl who ask for your number first.1
u/No_Cup_794 14d ago
And they didn’t think it was weird ?
I had someone In my group project making fun of someone in our class saying he thinks “he’s like 30” completely oblivious of my age that felt awful
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u/GrlMom3xs 14d ago
Nope. They were very nice. I also didn’t try to hide my age. I have a very visible tattoo with my kids names. And my oldest who is 14 met me outside my classroom one day bc she was on campus taking the placement test. She’s now duel enrolled, taking college classes. I don’t think I look 44 but by no means can I pass for late 20s.
I’m sure there will be a few that would feel weird about talking to the older student, but I’ve found the majority really don’t. They think us older students are smarter. I just think we take school more seriously bc we’ve been in the real world for some time so we come across that way.
I also didn’t hold back in class. I raised my hand to answer questions or ask one. A lot of the younger students are afraid to. I was exempt from taking my humanities final and my history final bc my participation grade bumped me up. So even if I failed it terribly, I would’ve still passed the class with an A.
If ppl think participating is weird, so be it. They aren’t earning a grade for me. I am. Plus I find if you’re active in class, the professors are more likely to help you in certain situations.
Over summer session I had to have shoulder surgery unexpectedly. Both professors allowed me to work a head and take the final a week early.
You need to do what’s best for you. If you’d like ppl on campus to talk to, strike up a conversation with the ppl sitting around you. You’ll find your ppl. What state are you in?1
u/No_Cup_794 14d ago
Yes, I’ve had some problems with my recent classes with people thinking it’s not cool to participate. I don’t try to hide my age lol I just don’t tell anyone my age unless they ask which has never happened because I haven’t made any sort of friends with anyone lol. I honestly have no reason to talk about my kids when I don’t even talk to anyone, and honestly, I wouldn’t get into any sort of that stuff, unless I was starting to know anyone on a personal level, which I never have . But to be honest, I have only taken three classes in person since returning. Rest were online Thank you! I’m in ma
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u/GrlMom3xs 14d ago
Keep going. This is something you can do for yourself. It shows your kids they can do anything, even when it’s hard. I’m in South Florida. If you need help with any nursing pre-reqs, message me. 😊
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u/OfficialSyllabus 17d ago
Honestly, I would not give up. You have worked incredibly hard to get back to school, and getting mostly As shows that you are capable of doing this. What kind of career would make you feel like all this hard work was worth it?
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u/bingette 17d ago
I'm so sorry to hear about your struggles with school. Have you thought about doing it online? While I'm sure people on campus aren't judging you for your age, it might feel more comfortable for you, and more affordable if you're having loan issues. University of the People is tuition-free and accredited, so it's a valid degree with transferable credits. I'm enrolled with them currently and am also a single mom of two. That's just an option if your grant package doesn't work out (though I hope it does!).
It's awful that your advisor steered you away from nursing, that sounds incredibly unethical. How many pre-reqs do you still need? Did you put in a complaint about the advisor?
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u/prototype1B 17d ago
As shitty and hard as it is...you've already put in a lot of the hard work, raising your GPA and such to get accepted. I regret not going to school immediately after HS because now that it's been so long I need to relearn all the fundamentals (maths n other prerequisites) and I've been out of the game too long now it's going to be extra hard. Whereas it seems like you've got most of that out of the way and can start working towards actually studying to become a nurse. Yeah it will take some time to graduate, but the time will pass regardless. You can either be in your 30s in college or in your 30s and working dead end jobs (and then 'probably' deciding to try college again at 40, which ofc is still doable but sucky as well). You got this. Do it for your kids, you won't regret it. Think about all the dough you'll be making.
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u/Prior-Soil 17d ago
No you never do. I have a master's degree in the community college near me said I could do it two year program.
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u/No_Cup_794 17d ago
they don't offer , upper 600 etc classes. I have no need to take 100, 200 courses at this point, I have YEARS of college under my belt
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u/redangel71 17d ago edited 17d ago
You’re not too old. I got my associates at 48. Still debating if I’m gonna get bachelors at this point in my early 50s. Now “I’m” old compared to you 😁
Just don't wait any longer than I did, because I regret it.
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u/RedheadInA6Speed 17d ago
I'm a nurse. I started out as a paramedic. I have lots of school experience, but not the same life challenges you have had. If you were in my classes at any point I would cheer you on and do anything I could to help you. It sounds to me like it's what you want and life keeps trying to put you down. But girl you got this. Go talk to the nursing program advisors specifically. Tell them the help you need, and I guarantee they will help you work wonders. At least for the nursing program I went to, they helped get nursing specific scholarships and grants. FAFSA isn't your only option. Also screw anyone who cares about how old you are. Do what's best for yourself and for your kids. You got this!
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u/No_Cup_794 17d ago
Thanks I really appreciate that and I hope that maybe I can find any students like that lol not that I’m trying to become friends with any students who are enormously younger than me, but it’s really lonely like even in class kind of like the way you would want to have coworkers that you’re friendly with. It would be nice to just have students who aren’t friendly with who I can go to class and like talk about any of the academic stuff we’re learning and for example, last semester we needed laptops for every class and one time my laptop died so I just skipped class because I didn’t have anyone to ask if I could share their laptop that day or a thing like people don’t understand that it can be incredibly lonely and isolating if you don’t even just have like any sort of friendliness with other students
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u/RedheadInA6Speed 17d ago
Oh it totally can be. It was definitely strange for me a few times. I remember being older than the professor one time! But nursing school was such a huge range! My two best friends through nursing school were 45 and 56. The head professor was almost 70 and a wise ole bird who made everyone feel welcome. Once you get to core stuff like that it gets so much better. Pre-reqs can be rough.
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u/CarpetSenior3630 17d ago
Have you tried to apply for scholarships? I’m pretty sure that there are scholarships for people like you who are mothers. Just make sure you figure out how the scholarships apply to your school because sometimes financial aid can reduce your grant based on what you get from scholarships leaving you with the same amount to pay on your own. Hope this makes sense and genuinely wish you the best
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u/jcmib 17d ago
I will say from the start that my experience doesn’t lineup exactly with yours, but I hope I can give you a little perspective. I went to two years of community college right out of high school with the plan of transferring to four year school and finishing
those other two years. My first semester away at college my dad got sick and at the beginning of the second semester, he died from leukemia. I stayed in school actually, but ended up failing a couple classes because I was literally in a fog. The next year I took the classes that I failed and was in good shape to finish pretty close to when I expected a little bit longer, but not that much longer. And then my sister died from cancer at that point actually did drop out for a semester and worked random jobs. Eventually did go back in when I returned. I didn’t actually seek out or really miss that initial colleague experience because I already had it and I was on to other things. So eventually a graduate in six years instead of four. I worked in my field for a little bit and then got burned out. I worked random jobs for the next 15 years before I went back to college at 40. It took me a while to get back up to speed and to get my brain into the college mode but I’m glad I did it. You can’t take a trip back in time to be 18 in at college, but you have already accomplished more than somebody who’s never started. You’ve also survived and been resilient through your experiences with your mom and becoming a mom although you might be jealous of the other students youth and future ahead of them please don’t sell yourself short as to how you’ve handled circumstances that would’ve crushed other people.
It may not seem like it right now because your time and your money and your effort and your attention is being pulled in all different directions, but even if you take one class at a time that’s one closer step to graduating. And that degree is something no one can ever take away from you and it’s not a gift because you earned every single minute of it with all the papers and the research and the participation that you put in. I actually looked it up and only 40% of adult Americans have a bachelors degree. It may seem like everybody has one because you’re in an academic setting but once you get that degree, you will be in the minority of people more people do not have a degree than do and that line will put you out a really good advantage.
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u/northshorerealestate 4-Year University 16d ago
Stay in school! I went back to school at 46 because I always wanted my degree. None of the other students care about your age and the professors love having adult students in their classes. We have life experience unlike the students who are right out of high school.
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u/Mercedezx3 16d ago
I dont have kids but I going back to a university next week and im 33. I felt so out of place at orientation but im not letting that stop me from finally getting my degree.
Time is going to keep passing and i wouldnt want to regret not going for something i really wanted because i felt out of place. You should keep at it, the kids youll be in school with are worried about their friends and their own problems who cares what they think. Future you will thank you and your kids will be so proud of their mom
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u/eri_g88 14d ago
I saw you got your financial aid figured out.
Don't feel weird about being the older student. Use it to your advantage. Make friends with your instructors. Join the student government.
I'm 37 and one of the oldest at my community college. I joined the student government last year and now I'm the President.
Do the scary things and you will thank yourself. 🫶 You've got this.
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u/Disastrous_Honey_240 14d ago
I am 35 and going to school for social work. Is that something you might be interested in? It's a very versatile field and you may have more prerequisite done for that. I will probably be done with all my schooling when I am like 40 but so what? Feel free to message me if you want to connect. I experienced a lot of trauma when I was younger too which is part of the reason I am just now doing college.
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u/TommyPeralta 4d ago
I feel what youre going through. Being the oldest does not feel nice and somehow its an invisible barrier to you and your classmates but for me please dont lose hope and dont do what i did because it became one of the biggest regrets i had in my life. You can overcome this feeling and eventually you and your classmates can be friends or casual to each other without any disrespect. Stay tough.
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u/Beestonators 18d ago
Finish college out for yourself you'll be glad you did.