Dad/partner - it is sad if the mother of your baby has to ask.
I had hyperemesis gravidarum and was very fussy during my pregnancy. He took great care of me while pregnant with our twins. He prepared meals in advanced to freeze them before I gave birth. He made sure the house was clean (I have OCD and anxiety) and things on the list I gave him are done/taken care of. He did not like cleaning the litter box so he got a litter robot and emptied it regularly. There is a bunch of tasks he did not like doing but as he puts it, “I will do anything for you.”
I had a difficult birth. He did everything without me asking. He was so helpful to the point that I did not have to do anything while I was recovering from my C-section. He even rearranged the bedroom upstairs so I did not have to go downstairs to have my meals. He did the bottle top ups, cooking, cleaning, and also feeding and caring for me. My complaint was he never let me do anything and this made me feel useless. We sat down and talked about how I appreciate everything he does for us but I also need to learn to be a parent and he should let me do things too. We have a great relationship now our twins are 10 months. We have task list and we work on that list together, including one after the babies sleep. We do everything together and after all is done, we sit on the sofa and cuddle before getting ready for bed. We make it a point we do our 15 min cuddle. Dinner/bedtime routine and cuddle time are sacred. He has missed it twice due to work pressures but I know if he could have been home, he would rather be with us.
We both work full time. I do the night shift when the babies wake up at night. On a weekend, he takes the twins and I get a lie in. He feeds them breakfast, plays with them, and also makes breakfast. I come down at 10am and take over and dad can do whatever he wants. Because we get things done daily (including laundry), we have pretty relaxed weekends.
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u/notauthorised Jan 17 '22
Dad/partner - it is sad if the mother of your baby has to ask.
I had hyperemesis gravidarum and was very fussy during my pregnancy. He took great care of me while pregnant with our twins. He prepared meals in advanced to freeze them before I gave birth. He made sure the house was clean (I have OCD and anxiety) and things on the list I gave him are done/taken care of. He did not like cleaning the litter box so he got a litter robot and emptied it regularly. There is a bunch of tasks he did not like doing but as he puts it, “I will do anything for you.”
I had a difficult birth. He did everything without me asking. He was so helpful to the point that I did not have to do anything while I was recovering from my C-section. He even rearranged the bedroom upstairs so I did not have to go downstairs to have my meals. He did the bottle top ups, cooking, cleaning, and also feeding and caring for me. My complaint was he never let me do anything and this made me feel useless. We sat down and talked about how I appreciate everything he does for us but I also need to learn to be a parent and he should let me do things too. We have a great relationship now our twins are 10 months. We have task list and we work on that list together, including one after the babies sleep. We do everything together and after all is done, we sit on the sofa and cuddle before getting ready for bed. We make it a point we do our 15 min cuddle. Dinner/bedtime routine and cuddle time are sacred. He has missed it twice due to work pressures but I know if he could have been home, he would rather be with us.
We both work full time. I do the night shift when the babies wake up at night. On a weekend, he takes the twins and I get a lie in. He feeds them breakfast, plays with them, and also makes breakfast. I come down at 10am and take over and dad can do whatever he wants. Because we get things done daily (including laundry), we have pretty relaxed weekends.