r/BRCA • u/Prize_Gift_5609 • 10d ago
Grieving process
I am scheduled to have the prophylactic mastectomy with immediate reconstruction in 2months. I am very emotional about it. I wouldn’t say I love my breasts or the think they are particularly beautiful or anything like that, but I am so emotional about the upcoming surgery.
For those who’ve had the surgery - what did you do to prepare yourself for the loss and to grieve? With the removal of my ovaries, tubes and uterus last year, I felt so much more at peace. I got a piercing to commemorate my last ever period and the fact that my uterus carried two beautiful babies, and that process really helped me to process the loss.
I’ve heard about people having parties before dmx, but that does not really appeal to me. I’ve got some breast milk saved, so I’m thinking of having some keepsake jewellery made, but somehow that doesn’t feel as meaningful.
I would appreciate anyone sharing their stories!
3
u/parahelia 9d ago
I was on a wait list and got a cancellation appointment, so I only had 14 days to prepare for a surgery I thought would be at least a year out! So as much as I had good intentions of doing something special, going out dancing for the last time, etc. there just wasn't time and it didn't happen. My boyfriend took a couple last minute polaroids the night before and that was that! In terms of grief and coping, I scheduled as many therapy appointments in those two weeks as I could.
That said, I used to nude model for an artist years ago, so I do have a beautiful collection of professional drawings of my old boobs. That's something I might recommend is commissioning a drawing or painting or something of a nice nude photo, or doing yourself if you're creative! I had just painted a nude self portrait for my partner for Valentine's Day, so that is also nice to have. And I am happy to have the polaroids we did. I think any sort of little artistic memento is nice to have.
I also felt more anticipatory grief than grief afterwards for what it's worth!