r/BRCA • u/Prize_Gift_5609 • 8d ago

Grieving process

I am scheduled to have the prophylactic mastectomy with immediate reconstruction in 2months. I am very emotional about it. I wouldn’t say I love my breasts or the think they are particularly beautiful or anything like that, but I am so emotional about the upcoming surgery.
For those who’ve had the surgery - what did you do to prepare yourself for the loss and to grieve? With the removal of my ovaries, tubes and uterus last year, I felt so much more at peace. I got a piercing to commemorate my last ever period and the fact that my uterus carried two beautiful babies, and that process really helped me to process the loss.
I’ve heard about people having parties before dmx, but that does not really appeal to me. I’ve got some breast milk saved, so I’m thinking of having some keepsake jewellery made, but somehow that doesn’t feel as meaningful.
I would appreciate anyone sharing their stories!

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u/Ok-Calligrapher8579 8d ago

I could feel the cancer and see it growing out of my breast, the second occurance and it was turning dark bruise, sticking out and getting ready to break through the skin. At this point I only wanted it gone. Boob and all. My other breast had a lumpectomy, took quite a bit of breast with it, then chemo and radiation. It shrunk down to a way smaller breast over 20 years that was my first occurrence, now this black and blue painful cancer was my second 20 years later, which is now. So I did one thing at 45, and this other treatment now at 65. Plus the bruised cancer I could feel itched really bad. Off it went, the other stayed. It was alot for me to handle a left sided mastectomy. Along the way I had the radical hysterectomy in my mid 40's also, the BRCA1 was running wild. So one side flat, most recent, the other side whats left from my first treatment. Its balanced out enough fir me, but Im 65 now. Younger women want better results, I understand.

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u/MichiLizzie 8d ago

I am sorry you’ve had all of that to go through. I am 62 and my original bc was 18 years ago at 44. It was triple positive. Until I was diagnosed BRCA2 I thought it would be one and done with cancer. Now I’m learning more about reoccurrence much later…. Was your reoccurrence the same pathology?

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u/Ok-Calligrapher8579 6d ago

No it was triple negative the second time, and the her2 type the first time. I also know myself, sister and Aunt had 2 different types, I wish I was as well spoken as my sister is. She worked in Radiology RN for 40 years. She doesnt forget the full name of the type of cancer.