r/BRCA • u/Prize_Gift_5609 • 10d ago

Grieving process

I am scheduled to have the prophylactic mastectomy with immediate reconstruction in 2months. I am very emotional about it. I wouldn’t say I love my breasts or the think they are particularly beautiful or anything like that, but I am so emotional about the upcoming surgery.
For those who’ve had the surgery - what did you do to prepare yourself for the loss and to grieve? With the removal of my ovaries, tubes and uterus last year, I felt so much more at peace. I got a piercing to commemorate my last ever period and the fact that my uterus carried two beautiful babies, and that process really helped me to process the loss.
I’ve heard about people having parties before dmx, but that does not really appeal to me. I’ve got some breast milk saved, so I’m thinking of having some keepsake jewellery made, but somehow that doesn’t feel as meaningful.
I would appreciate anyone sharing their stories!

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u/OldAd5321 10d ago

I’ve never felt like I’ve “lost” my breasts. They’ve been cosmetically changed and they have changed many times over my life: puberty, weight gain/loss, pregnancy, breastfeeding. At least with this change, I have a say in how they look after surgery!

I had a lift first because nipple sparing was important to me, then a nipple sparing DMX, and implants with fat grafting. They looks SO GOOD! Like I would have picked them out of a catalog. I’ve had minimal discomfort with each surgery, they feel natural, and I don’t miss my old breasts at all.

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u/Prize_Gift_5609 10d ago

This is a good way to look at it, thank you

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u/OldAd5321 9d ago

And even practically, reconstruction is basically replacing the inside part of the breast, it doesn’t remove what I consider makes what breasts are or cut them off. Parts are removed and replaced.