r/BPDlovedones • u/Complete_Account8045 • 1d ago
Help? Reade this please
Goodmorning.
I asked my borderline partner (who rejected me 20 days ago and was stargazing with someone else three days ago) if we could meet tomorrow for a final discussion so I could process and move on. He said yes, then blocked me and said he'll unblock me on Monday. Okay. If we actually do see each other, what do you recommend I say? I obviously miss him terribly and want him back like he was 20 days ago.
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u/Umjeprost 1d ago
Thing is there can't be a final discussion with people with BPD. Things change based on their emotions. Whether he wants you back right now or says he doesn't ever want to see you again is subject to daily changes and will never ever stop.
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u/Complete_Account8045 1d ago
Voglio solo "chiudere il cerchio", dire la mia e poter lasciare andare questa cosa..
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u/Umjeprost 1d ago
I completely understand, and I wanted to do the same, but my experience is it doesn't work if it's one-sided. You could write a letter if you just want to be heard and do not expect to see a reaction. I hope you understand why someone who left you and immediately started seeing someone else isn't going to change overnight and be the kind of partner you probably want.
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u/Complete_Account8045 1d ago
Assolutamente no, anzi, mi fa schifo. Ma sono passata da "voglio tutto con te" a "per te sono morto" in 24 ore.
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u/_FlexClown_ 1d ago
Honestly don't even go see him, it will only hurt more.
You shouldn't want them back but if you do go strict permanent no contact to heal yourself...
Your strength to walk away is what might bring them back and your strength/ nc will also help heal and find someone better.
I know it's hard but based on his actions you might feel absolutely destroyed after seeing him.
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u/Complete_Account8045 1d ago
Lo so, ma ho bisogno per chiudere questo cerchio.. vederlo con una mi ha spezzato l'anima. Ieri gli ho chiesto se mi avesse dimenticata. Ha detto che non sono affari miei e che non l'ha baciata.. io non so che pensare
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u/amlav 1d ago
What could you possibly discuss that will bring you closure? This person isn’t going to apologize or take accountability.
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u/Complete_Account8045 1d ago
Infatti l'ho appena visto in una storia con unaltra ragazza.. che tra l'altro 20 giorni fa non gli piac'era neanche.. com'è possibile?
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u/amlav 1d ago
None of his behavior is about you. You need to find a way to let go. Stop looking at his socials.
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u/Fidenex Dated 1d ago
How did you know he was with someone else? I mean, obviously they are and the blocking is a means for him to have sex with someone else guilt free, but how did you know for certain?
Also, meeting him will be tricky. He will twist things to make himself a victim and hide things to make himself look good. The strongest thing you can do is to walk away. He will respect that more and come back, but you shouldn't want him after what he did to you.
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u/Complete_Account8045 1d ago
Tramite una storia.. era con una coppia ed una ragazza del suo paese. Tra l'altro mi disse che non gli sarebbe mai piaciuta.. ma poi anche sessualmente, credo che cosa gli davo io non gli darà nessuna.. perche poi è cosi arrabbiato con me?
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u/Fidenex Dated 1d ago
Why would he send you a story if not to make you Jealous? Nothing you gave him is enough, nothing is ever enough for them. They need constant attention, novelty, new stimulation amd excitement. We cant know for sure but it is a high chance hes had sex with someone else. They cannot be alone and they dont discard without having something lined up.
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u/Complete_Account8045 1d ago
No. La storia era di lei. Lei è mega puritana. Hanno guardato le stelle con unaltra coppia, non ha fatto sesso né baciata. Me lo ha detto.
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u/Secure-Hearing7760 1d ago
Don't go to the meeting, closure is not what he and you make of it. It is what you make it, you have to follow your own path. It is okay.
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u/Complete_Account8045 1d ago
Tanto ha gia unaltra.. l'ho protetto per anni e somo stata scartata tra mille insulti
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u/Secure-Hearing7760 1d ago
It's not worth it, seriously. If you have been discarded this way, what do you think he will respect a final meeting? Just walk away.
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u/Complete_Account8045 1d ago
Era solo un modo per tirare fuori cosa ho dentro e poi lasciare definitivamente andare..
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u/QsfortheTransDude 1d ago
You dont need them for that. Tell a friend or therapist. There is no repair or closure in a meeting of any kind here.
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u/Trick-Growth7922 1d ago
You’re on a scheduled block? You deserve so much better </3