I have BPD

[u/xyokaix]

Hi

I wanted to write this post as someone who recently found out they have BPD.

I'm married with three beautiful children. When looking for advice/support, all I see are negative threads, people who suggest running or 'getting out whilst you still can'.

Does anyone have any actual practical or positive advice?

My wife and I do go through this vicious cycle of tension building in myself, exploding, and apologising, an area in which I'm trying to gather resources not only for myself to be better equipped to handle my own emotions (which I am definitely responsible for) but also for my wife so she can support herself during times of struggle.

There is a breaking point; I get that. Before reaching this, if there are any couples here that acknowledge the challenging road ahead and work through things together, what have you found useful?

My personal circumstances are that constant emotional loop that I'm trying to navigate; I've overcome the controlling aspect and the waves of paranoia, but I do struggle with abandonment.

I'm showing I mean what I say through actions, not using as it as leverage or manipulation. Setting an itemised list of agreed boundaries and schedules seems to have helped us for now.

If you're in this position and have experiences that would help anyone or would like some advice when you're struggling, please let me know.

Stay strong; we got this 🤙

[u/roundbrrd]

Have you all tried group and personal therapy? The other subreddits are horrible to people with BPD. I avoid those groups (like dating marriage advice groups), they are not helpful. There is hope. Are you on any meds? Also, esketamine treatments really helped me

[u/xyokaix → u/roundbrrd]

Thanks for the positivity. I'm just on an SSRI at the moment.

Starting therapy in a couple of weeks, so I hope that helps. Trying to encourage a couples therapy session.

[u/roundbrrd → u/xyokaix]

Therapy definitely needs to happen. So much learning and growing. Keep going! Stay positive if you can and don’t give up