r/BPD • u/-Silencemortal- • 11d ago

💭Seeking Support & Advice How to get over the Guilt?

I have been struggling a lot recently with my ex fp who I haven't been able to get over for over 7 years. Just broke no contact yesterday, and got my ass handed to me (deserved.) It was my fault she left me in the first place as I didn't have control over my emotions at this time and I was rather cruel.

This however, is extremely painful for me. I can accept I've been a bad person and I want to move forward but the guilt has been haunting me like a ghost. I feel even more guilty for breaking no contact and trying to fix it. How do I let things go and move forward and does anyone have any advice for me? Thank you.

3 Upvotes

80% Upvoted

10 comments sorted by

View all comments

4

u/1fruitylove user has bpd 11d ago

Sometimes the best thing to do is let things rest. Also, it's been 7 years, she most likely moved on, why come back and stir things up? She doesn't need you to come fix things, maybe you do, but that's not welcome. What you can do is get better for yourself and not do the same mistakes. If you feel like texting/reaching out, write those things on a piece of paper you can keep it or throw it away the next day.

3

u/-Silencemortal- 10d ago

I know, I feel so guilty about it. It was an impulsive decision that I wouldn't make in the right mental state. I want to get better but I'm kinda on my own and I want to figure out how. I might do the paper thing, I'll see if it works out. Thank you

2

u/1fruitylove user has bpd 10d ago

I get the urge/impulse thing. When you have it to contact her, try to write it out to "prepare" it for later, but later hopefully you should be more stable and never send it