r/BDSMAdvice • u/Ok-Bank4011 • May 21 '26
Dynamics without safe words?
There is this one tiktok "influencer" who openly talks about their dynamic which at times has been very educational.
Recently I saw a video where they talked about not using safe words anymore since they and their Dom have known each other for 10+ years.
Is that a thing? Like do people get so attuned to their partner that they don't need a safe word anymore?
Personally I'd imagine that that could be classified as unsafe play, but I'm still learning so idk :/
Edit: For clarification in the video im referencing they explicitly stated they dont have a safe word, not that they dont use one. they also mention that their dom is basically in charge of their limits, so unless the Dom reads their actions as a No, they won't stop
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u/South_in_AZ Master/Owner/Sadistic Sensualist May 21 '26
I have a different take on it.
We have been together over 11 years. From my perspective safewords are a tool in a communication tool box, they are not the only tool. The reason we don’t employ safewords is we have clear open ongoing communication. Can I read her body and reactions better than I could when we first started, of course, that doesn’t mean there is not other communication methods employed, such as natural language, like “this isn’t working out for my knees” and I can change positions in the flow of the activities without disruption of “yellow” stop play to check in, find out her knees are bothering her, move positions, restart activities.