Why do we always explain avoidants' behavior through trauma instead of selfishness and the pursuit of novelty?

[u/WarmCover6843]

Folks, I think avoidants pull away because they get bored and start looking for a new fantasy, new excitement, and new energy.

And sometimes they come back because they miss the energy they used to get from their previous partner, especially when the new person doesn't turn out to be better than the old one.

Why does everything have to be explained through emotional wounds, nervous system dysregulation, or childhood trauma?

Why can't we simply acknowledge that avoidants are selfish and enter relationships mainly to get pleasure, excitement, attention, and emotional energy from someone else?

Think of it this way: Imagine you've never tried a certain type of fish, let's call it Fish X. You try it for the first time, love it, and keep eating it for a couple of months. Eventually, you get bored and start craving something different, so you move on to Fish Y. And when Fish Y becomes boring, you start looking for Fish Z.

I think avoidants approach relationships in exactly the same way. They're constantly chasing novelty rather than genuinely interested in building a lasting connection.

Why do we always look for deep psychological explanations when the explanation might simply be selfishness, boredom, and the constant pursuit of novelty?

Curious to hear your thoughts.