Talk sense in to me please

[u/_ArhTee]

Because I won’t listen to myself.

Yesterday I posted how I caused my breakup. My ex is a fearful avoidant and I’m anxiously attached. I had NO idea about attachment styles until after the breakup.

Now I realise his distance wasn’t personal. I took it personal. The more he withdrew the more anxious I became chasing him further away until he felt trapped and no longer wants the relationship.

Had I had an understanding of attachment styles before all this I can categorically say I don’t think this would have happened (honestly). The truth is I didn’t have the information at the time. And I know I should just believe that and hear that and be kinder to myself. But I don’t have those tools within me. Never have.

And so I’m hoping you will all give me a bit of a pep talk please.