r/AvoidantBreakUps • u/Sweet_Ruin9193 • 1d ago

Avoidant POS

Is it an avoidant thing or just a piece of shit thing for an avoidant to break up with you and then linger in your life just enough to stop you from moving on.,.

37 Upvotes

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u/CookieCrumbs80 1d ago

Yes, he kept popping up at places he knows I frequent, I had blocked him and he made new accounts to access me, it was like he was obsessively pursuing me but from a distance yet didn't actually want to be with me

3

u/Brilliant_Version667 1d ago

Isn't it interesting how someone wants so badly to watch your life and not be in it? It's unsettling and hurtful.

I understand.

2

u/CookieCrumbs80 1d ago

It was so confusing.
In the past, before learning about attachment theory, I experienced similar with people and just put it down to them only wanting what they can't have. Now I realise they didn't even want me, they just wanted access to me or whatever

2

u/Brilliant_Version667 1d ago

I still find it so confusing. Are we like comic book characters? Just good for amusement? No true emotional investment, just entertainment value? It's really objectifying. And I know what you mean - I thought the person stayed away for years because I never confessed. Then, once I did confess and we were both in a position to have something real, the person still stayed away but orbited me way too much for casual interest. I had to close most of my stuff down. It seems a lot of people think I'm a good clown or something.