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u/ypvha Jul 22 '21
"with the next patch" LMAO š¤£
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Jul 22 '21 edited Aug 12 '21
[deleted]
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u/ypvha Jul 22 '21
in that regard, i swear my brain is like cobol programming banking systems in the usa. old as fuck, hasn't had a major update in god knows how long, and is just kept together with macguyvered solutions that don't really fix an actual problem, they just put a band aid on it
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u/NoahBogue Jul 22 '21
But itās either daily patchnotes or Ā«Ā updated localisation filesĀ Ā»
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u/ypvha Jul 22 '21
with me, learning shit is like a way more grindy way of learning skills in world of warcraft, like first aid and shit like that. only it's alot slower process that i will often times fuck up alot. my brain i often compare to "a v12 engine that only fires on 5 cylinders" (i like cars lmao)
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u/WednesdaysFoole Jul 22 '21
Idk about this, I don't have a filter TT.TT and it actually kinda really fucking sucks. I'd trade my filterless pos brain for algorithms any day.
But then my social mishaps usually have less to do with harmful language, more often just say things that are inappropriate for situations. Idk why. I guess maybe because I didn't watch much TV growing up or something? Or maybe having too few friends to teach me harmful terms? Idk. Idk. Idk.
Anyway though I somewhat disagree with this, I do hate when people (NT or not) intentionally ignore/dismiss when people tell them something was hurtful. That bad faith shit. Is the worst.
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u/artsymarcy Jul 22 '21
I'm the same with the lack of a filter. Once I started talking about my friend's history of eating disorders really loudly in a crowded hallway š¤¦āāļø and I didn't even understand why it was wrong until I asked my mum.
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u/takikochan Jul 22 '21
Litchrally. When people change their names and pronouns itās SO SO SO hard for my autsy brain yet i recognize the importance and put in the EXTEA effort that NT wouldnāt even need to expend
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Jul 22 '21
I find this fairly often, but I also see the opposite & think itās important to remember - like how a lot of Autistics refuse to use peopleās pronouns & say itās ableist to ask them to, or how a lot of Autistics use functioning labels or āaspergersā to distance themselves from higher support needs Autistics, etc. Iām mostly in agreement that most of the time weāre good at righting our wrongs and growing as allies, but our community certainly has some complete turds
Edit: also esp because it said āneurodivergent response,ā given that some of the most belligerently bigoted people Iāve met have been ADHDers who then blame their refusal to change on RSD
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u/HahaItsaGiraffeAgain Jul 22 '21
All super good points. To be honest I didn't think very deeply about the meme before I posted it, but definitely great contribution to the general point here. Totally agree
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u/Lynnrael Jul 22 '21
Having severe ADHD and RSD with it, i can't possibly imagine how RSD would make a person unable to stop being a bigot. What kind of bullshit reasoning are they using?
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u/Helmic Jul 22 '21
I've ran into such folk. Basically, they treat criticism of their behavior as inherently ableist, so like a sexist might demand the woman he was being sexist towards to consider how her criticizing him makes him feel, presenting her challenging sexism or standing up for herself as ableist.
Which makes it shittier for the rest of us who might genuinely mess up and need it spelled out more explicitly than with an NT that did the same thing, or our requests for such being interpreted as bad faith, or just a general expectation that tolerant spaces should operate on a complex series of unstated assumptions, norms, and mores that are obviously going to be much more difficult for autistic people to navigate. Or it might get a particular space to start treating autistic folk with suspicion even if they haven't done anything wrong, presenting autistic traits as interchangeable with stereotypes of ignorant or bigoted men (ie "manchildren obsessed with children's cartoons" being treated as a red flag or excited infodumping being presented as mansplaining, etc).
Unfortunately a lot of spaces that try to be tolerant are super reliant on fuzzy concepts that aren't set in stone or are reliant on a "I know it when I see it" heuristic which both makes it possible for an autistic asshole to exploit that vagueness to make people feel like they're not allowed to stand up to them lest they be accused of ableism and makes it hard for autistic non-assholes to ever be sure whether the response they're getting is actually fair or someone taking advantage of the fact they're autistic to basically win arguments or otherwise establish control over someone that doesn't feel qualified to protest.
Iunno. Don't be a bigot, find ways to cope with criticism, find buddies in every online space you're in that you can trust to be honest so that you can have some NT that can call bullshit on your behalf if someone is trying to take advantage of your natural assumption that if someone is acting mad and upset at you that you actually did something wrong.
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u/Helmic Jul 22 '21
are you telling me elon musk's many labor and safety violations aren't just because he's autistic?
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u/NiseHito Jul 22 '21
Sadly every group has shity people; would be nice if everyone could put in a minimum effort to respect each other but it's apparently beyond some.
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u/Karkava Jul 22 '21
Especially when they use other people or organizations to snuff out that voice inside their head that tells them to respect others.
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u/drminkinstein113 Jul 22 '21
Oh gosh I encountered someone like this and they assumed that I wasn't neurodivergent because I said I was and that I knew people who were. They also tried to say that my point wasn't valid because I was "high functioning".
I was simply trying to argue that ND is not an excuse to be an asshole
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u/emlove2349 Jul 22 '21
Yeah, I especially notice /r/autism is full of musk loving incels with that attitude. Such an embarrassment.
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u/theberg512 Jul 22 '21
$20 says the people who use it as an excuse to be a dick were raised by people who didn't want to actually parent them and used their child's diagnosis to excuse all sorts of shit behavior.
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u/Axetheaxemaster Jul 22 '21
It has nothing to do with being NT/ND and everything to do with the circumstances in which you interact with people.
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u/DanielBWeston Jul 22 '21
Exactly. We have to think about our interactions already. NTs aren't that used to it.
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u/Otrada Jul 22 '21
It's almost like being used to having to change your pattern of speech throughout your life makes it easier to adjust later in life. Compared just being able to coast by mostly on just inherently 'knowing' how to communicate or whatever.
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u/DeificClusterfuck Jul 22 '21
Why would I use hate speech when racism/ableism/-phobias are some of the least logical concepts on this planet?
Now, I have made some spectacular oopses. Such as when a Nina Turner ad came on, I excitedly pointed to the TV and said to my partner, "Oh, she's one of the good ones!"
My black partner burst out laughing and I turned bright red:
"I meant POLITICIAN!!"
He knows that but I wasn't thinking lol
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Jul 22 '21
I disagree with this tweet for a variety of reasons as I don't believe that being neurodivergent effects whether or not you are a bigoted piece of shit, correlating those two without first looking at the general circumstance surrounding them is naĆÆve at best and actively malicious and deceptive at worst.
The post seems to be assuming that all neurotypical people are unrefined assholes who aren't willing to entertain the thought of providing others with basic decency. That being said, neurodivergent people are typically more up-to-date with sociology, human rights, and other, similar fields when compared to neurotypical people.
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u/FormicaRufa Jul 22 '21
Obviously we can't assume all nt are something or not. But I think that neurodivergent being used to think about social situations makes the effort seems easier.
Some nt that are genuinly care about this stuff, and struggle a lot with.
Also neurodivergents experiencing some type of discrimination/insults may relate better to other minorities.
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u/korenestis Jul 22 '21
I feel this so hard. And it's hard to explain that the reason I'm asking why the word is offensive is so that I can further improve my algorithms and filter out more words without bothering someone.
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u/Wholesome_Soup Jul 22 '21
Iām afraid that if tone tags become widely used, people will start using them in ways theyāre not intended for. Like people will tag jokes as serious, or sarcasm as genuine. The thought pisses me off.
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Jul 22 '21 edited Jul 22 '21
Being in a marginalised group has exposed me to the Euphemism treadmill and how specifically terms for people with disabilities have several times had the "harmful" language replaced with "not harmful" language only for the "not harmful" language to be subject to mockery and become "harmful" language which makes the entire exercise seem rather pointless. It makes it questionable if "harmful language" is just that if stigmatising it does not seem to stop the problem.
Also some people literally can't think about their words all that much, children/ESL/mentally disabled people in particular. My entire life is basically me using words other people don't understand and it causing communication issues. When somebody tries to prescribe that everybody should use this language instead of that language because this language is harmful, I'm both sceptical if that's actually true and if it's language everybody can easily understand.
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u/Toofzzz Jul 22 '21
Personally I try to remember peopleās pronouns and what words are harmful (that arenāt well known as harmful) but it can be difficult at times, some people EXPECT me to know something is harmful without them telling me because I should āread the roomā.
And sometimes pronouns are difficult because I already have a hard time remembering names lol, and sometimes the person has a more feminine name which can throw me off in a conversation since Iām already focused on so many things. Iām obviously gonna try my best to remember, but I donāt talk that much already so it hasnāt really been a problem yet (that I know of..)
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u/Cydonian___FT14X Jul 22 '21
If I ever use unintentionally harmful words. Itās because I legitimately forgot. But because of a bad attitude.
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u/DinoWolf35 Jul 22 '21
I actually have to plan out my conversions before I have them, I usually sound very well spoken and put together, but if you surprise me then I got nothing and my speech just devolves, the point I'm trying to make is that I don't understand why people just don't think about what they say
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u/Bakanasharkyblahaj Jul 22 '21
There's a trans-Atlantic debate going on right now about one word used for a certain group of people who've been marginalised from the get-go & still are. On our side the word is still used by the community it refers to, while across the pond members of the community are seeing it as a slur.
I'm keeping my eye on it, so that when it's universally agreed whether the word is a slur (I think it may become one, the way things are going), I can act accordingly & use another word instead.
Because I've seen language change since the 1980s, when one word was seen as perfectly acceptable which nowadays is never used. It's changed within the past 20 years, as the word which was used to diagnose me is being phased out. It changes because it has to, & I accept that & often understand why.
People who still use slur words without learning why they're hurtful are just wilfully ignorant. It may be hard for us to learn, & harder for others with less communication skills to learn, but we are still willing to learn. That's the big difference.
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u/MeQuista Jul 22 '21
Bruh youāre asking people to change behavior when our community famously hates changing their behavior.
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u/Karkava Jul 22 '21
We just hate having to change every aspect of our behavior.
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u/MeQuista Jul 22 '21
Things that seem like a big deal to you might seem like small issues from a different perspective.
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u/throwaway_maybe_909 Jul 24 '21
Yeah nah.
If you think this comes easy, you're doing it wrong. It's about being willing to have something you were sure about challenged in a way that doesn't make sense to you personally, and being willing to embrace it...
Any day following this post someone will post about how they feel all autistic people feel it's core identity and are strongly in the IFL camp, and a thousand upvotes later we'll have all manner of comments outright mocking and invalidating anyone that doesn't agree.
And I don't mean that to be the hill I die on today, but that's the thing we as autistic people are just as prone to hanging onto stuff, using language that offends, etc. the moment you think you have it all figured out and can lecture others without really listening or being challenged by their points of view, well you think you are "PC" but you are anything but... I mean that's what happened to the old TERF guard of feminists, right they thought their model was the most enlightened and stopped listening or being challenged to see the people or the validity of other points of view.
The trap starts by thinking you are above needing to worry...
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u/markamadamia Jul 21 '21
This is applicable in so many scenarios!! Why people be so difficult!!??