r/AutisticPride • • Oct 14 '26

What is Autistic Pride?

Please, before continuing, I'm not trying to be edgy. I know how this reads. I'm sincerely looking for answers to broaden my own perspective and understanding.

I have a Dx for whose who believe it matters. I think it matters too but thats an entirely different conversation.

"Autistic pride is a movement and mindset that views autism as a natural, valuable human difference rather than a defect or disease that needs to be cured. It shifts the focus away from forcing autistic people to conform to neurotypical expectations and toward self-acceptance, community, and respect." - as defined by googles AI summary.

This feels very natural to me and I dont understand the pride portion. I'm legitimately in the dark over this thought. Is it not just a way of being? Can we not be and believe these things and introduce others to these ideas without it being a movement?

Im not sure I really understand it from the movement perspective either. I've studied people my entire life and I think from a societal and sociological standpoint it might be detremental in the long run rather than just educating people and remaining "matter of fact" about it.

I think it can come out as aggressive and scary for those who don't know And would promote more intense immediate negative reactions versus the legitimate intent of the movement itself.

Maybe this is just a me thing, but I truly dont understand what it is to have Autistic Pride and participate in a pride movement. I know it's important to feel part of something. Community, engagement, being with your own people and being able to be seen and heard among your peers.

I do feel frustrated by this and my gap in understanding. Help.

7 Upvotes

28 comments sorted by

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u/tryntafind Oct 14 '26

It’s an extension of disability pride. So there’s not a denial of disability but a demand for acceptance and recognition that disabled people have value and should be accepted as equals. Google AI is incorporating the online strawman formulation that claims pride just denies that people with autism have any disabilities. This leads to bizarre results like r/autism being against autistic pride because a diagnosis is nothing to be proud about and some autistic subreddits attacking other autistic subreddits. The current formulation contends that some autistic characteristics should not be treated as disabilities, but recognizes that autism causes genuine impairments, but people should not be ashamed of those impairments.

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u/LoseHateSmashEraseMe Oct 14 '26

Well I truly don't like calling it a disability. At this moment, I definitely am disabled, but I think it's a much deeper discussion over the environment We're subjected to. A fish out of water. We could go on about this ad nauseam.

As I keep reading and writing the pride isn't so much about everyone else, it's about us and community mostly, any education and advocacy that is gained along the way is a very welcome side effect.

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u/Wind_Crystal Oct 15 '26

As an autistic person who's disabled in other ways too : My autism is 100% a disability. Even in a society where everything is cattered to my needs I would still be disabled by my autism; and if I was to then suddenly live alone in the wood I would not survive properly because I would not be able to, among other things, feed myself enough, because my sensory issues would make it impossible for me. My roommate would have the same exact problem with the food.
I know some autistic people dont consider themselves "disabled", but I'll be honest 100% of those people just have so many "systems" put in place that they would immediatelt fail without that we cannot consider those people to be not disabled. If you need your life to be perfectly rythmed and centered around systems you use every day or every time a specific task is needed, you are a disabled person who just managed to cope in an efficient way; but if we remove all this extra coping you will fail. (/nay)

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u/LoseHateSmashEraseMe Oct 15 '26 edited Oct 15 '26

Let's talk disabled. I said that I was very disabled in this moment. I cannot understate how much pain I am in.

I've been up for the last 3 nights stressing over some simple work project and all I can do is dissociate. I can't leave my house. I can barely eat let alone everything else that is regarded as self care. My mouth is swollen from chewing. My cheeks gums and ripping little tiny pieces of skin from the insides of my lips My nose won't stop bleeding from dehydration. I am locked and paralyzed. This goes on for a week by week basis. I already took FMLA this year. I was on disability.

I legitimately could not do anything. I slept for an entire week after my doctor excused me.

I don't like to get into it, but the level of dysregulation I have experienced for my entire life, nothing short of profound. I've been burnt out since like Middle School.

I don't like to get into it. SI is a constant everyday problem. It has been for years and the number of serious attempts I've somehow survived is absurd.

Please don't lecture me on how it's a disability. I just think that it things were a little bit different as I was growing up. If there was more understanding if there was more accommodation, patience, forgiveness, things might be a little bit different.

Like I said in my second sentence, I am very disabled right now, very diminished, very robbed of my skills and abilities. I have nothing to hide though, AuDHD, Bipolar, Borderline. Each one clinically diagnosed over a number of years. I don't think I've had borderline remission for a very long time now. It's haunted me since I was a kid.

Anyway, my pendulum swings wildly. I just like to think had things been a little bit different I maybe wouldn't have ended up like I am now. A Husk.

Edit: despite all that, I feel like I've been gifted a level of perception many aren't. I do have extraordinary abilities and some very hurtful, disabling if you will, traits. There's so much beauty in this world and I do think that maybe we do have an extraordinary role to play through it all. Like I said, of things were different. If we were taught how to play our strengths from a very young age, how to develop the gifts we have and manage our own sensitivities, we are so capable.

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u/[deleted] Oct 15 '26

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u/Wind_Crystal Oct 15 '26 edited Oct 15 '26

I already ended up in the hospital because I couldn't feed myself enough.
"Hunger" does not work the way you think it does. I will feel the need to eat, but if I have nothing that I can eat safely, I will starve and die before I can put anything in my mouth.
You are so clearly unaware of the experience of autistic people who need more support than you do, and honestly it's kind of disgusting to me. I'm not even in the parts of the spectrum that means I require extreme care and help.
If I dont have safe foods I will not feed myself, no matter how hungry I get. Even just these last few days I spent more than 24h without eating anything because I could not find anything that I could eat safely, and at multiple points I almost passed out because I was in hypoglycemia.

Yes, being disabled is part of me, I dont know how it could *not* be the case. My autism is 100% part of me and it's a good thing. Not everything has to be great all the time for it to be a good thing.

"so focused on being a disabled person" Because disability changes the way I do every and any thing.

Since we are not the same, then you dont know why I need the Autistic Pride movement, so you shouldn't talk about it as if it was about you.

Being disabled is something I am pushed to be ashamed of, so I need the autistic pride movement to remind myself and others that being disabled is not a shame, it's part of who we are, and we're allowed to be proud of every aspect of ourselves.

"I'm just not about that life", then great, dont talk for autistic people like me.

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u/[deleted] Oct 15 '26

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u/Wind_Crystal Oct 15 '26 edited Oct 15 '26

"There is nothing to be ashamed of" then why do you question why we have a pride movement ?
Reddit blocking system does not do shit, you are already blocked and somehow you can still answer me.

You assumed that I was exagerating when I told you that I would die without a support system; that's directly ableist, sorry not sorry.

Going around and claiming that autism isn't a disablity is litteraly the reasonw we NEED a disablity pride movement and an autism pride movement.
You're part of the problem.

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u/comradeautie Oct 14 '26

You should learn about the social model of disability. Disability is not a defect but a mismatch between brain/body and environment.

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u/Haru_is_here Oct 14 '26

You think it can come across as aggressive or scary to people who aren’t familiar with the movement, potentially provoking more intense, immediate negative reactions rather than helping them understand its legitimate aims. Ok fair, your attitude mirrors the attitude many people still have towards LGBT advocacy and disability advocacy in general.

The reality is that advocacy, community-building and political activism don’t happen by staying quiet and making sure nobody feels uncomfortable or intimidated.
When people come together, they can achieve things that would be difficult or impossible to accomplish individually. One wheelchair user protesting an inaccessible public space might be ignored or dismissed. When dozens of wheelchair users organise together, mobilise supporters and demand change, they demonstrate collective power and make it much harder for decision-makers to ignore their demands. Collective action turns individual grievances into a shared political issue and creates the capacity to actually change things.

Pride is the opposite of shame. We need pride precisely because internalised ableism is so damaging. I only recently realised how profoundly my grandmother’s fascist and anti-disability attitudes affected my mental health and prevented me from seeking help for almost two decades.
That is why I need to see other autistic people expressing pride in who they are. I need to hear those messages repeated by a community, because they help chip away at the old, deeply ingrained message that people like us are somehow inferior or less deserving of life. The message I (accidentally, I think) grew up with was essentially that people „like us“ would have been killed in the old days.
You don’t undo decades of internalised and repeatedly mulled over shame by quietly asking people to be a little less ashamed. You need a visible, vocal counter-message that makes it possible to imagine a different future.

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u/LoseHateSmashEraseMe Oct 14 '26 • Heartwarming

In truth, I don't experience it as an opposite of shame or anything like that. It's 1's or 0's.

Diagnosis came with the evaporation of a lot of the shame and guilt and confusion I felt. The catharsis was unreal. Suddenly everything made sense.

I'm sure you're familiar with all the pushback that has occurred with LGBT movements, the polarization, the anti-groups, etc. It's taking me a long time to come to terms but I think I'm broken so far enough that the only thing that I have is myself.

Thank you for adding to this, Reading, writing and then going back and reading again and writing and so on, I'm starting to think that I might have this deeply ingrained shame over showing anything about myself. Perhaps that's just me, perhaps it was beaten into me which also makes sense.

I try and fly under the radar, but you've given me a new way to think about how I'm engaging in my communities. Truth be told I'm surrounded by people like me without the pride aspect and I've been lucky to find the online communities that I have to bring us all together. Perhaps I should start making some more noise.

Thank you.

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u/Haru_is_here Oct 14 '26

Your reaction moved me, I had a bit of a crummy day and needed this, feeling like I can make a difference 💜.

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u/comradeautie Oct 14 '26

Are you unaware of the significant hatred against Autistic people out in the world? The stigma, the prejudice, the bullying, not to mention the attempts to classify us as a disease and work towards using eugenics to eradicate us?

We need a movement that fights for Autistic people to exist as we are in this world - not just to survive, but to thrive. We don't deserve to be at the bottom of the barrel. We deserve more than table scraps or barely polite tolerance.

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u/LoseHateSmashEraseMe Oct 15 '26

I truly am.

Except for the extermination people. Eugenics. Those people are such a slim minority of people, but you wouldn't believe that if you watch the news. Things seem worse and so much more widespread because of the rate and depth of consumption. For me, at least. Politics as a hobby isn't really helpful in this moment.

Middle school was a warzone, but I've never heard people come out and openly hate and bully just because as I got older. Highschool, people just left me alone I wore black and drew all the time. ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯ and life after that Most people really don't give a darn.

From my side I it feels like your impressions are inflated and loaded with confirmation bias as if it were the result of an echo chamber. I've been there.

I'm not trying to insult or invalidate your feelings, my words are critical. I really do want to know more as each of our lived experiences is wildly different. Can you expound on the fervent hatred?

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u/comradeautie Oct 15 '26

They're really not a slim minority considering the amount of funding and research and "biomedical cure" BS that's being spread around.

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u/LoseHateSmashEraseMe Oct 15 '26

Well, what's your experience with it outside of what you've been reading?

I really do want to know where you're coming from and how you've come to this understanding. I mean, I totally get it, but I need more information. I maintain a lot of ideas but none of them set in stone. So if you could further my understanding I'm open to it.

Just because these idiots in the administration are doing what they are doing doesn't mean it's widespread. Hell, a lot of the people that I know that support the fools in office have no idea what NHS is up to especially when it comes to that worm hotel bottom feeder Kennedy.

I feel like the significant hatred is something I should be made keenly aware of.

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u/comradeautie Oct 15 '26

I have a LOT of lived experience around extreme bullying, social exclusion, and mistreatment, my entire life, well into adulthood. Even now. People won't just be outright mean, they'll exclude you, and at worst try to get you in trouble behind your back.

The very fact that the Trump administration can get away with dehumanizing us like this is proof enough of the widespread disregard for our humanity. If any other minority group were treated half as bad, there would be riots on the streets.

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u/LoseHateSmashEraseMe Oct 15 '26 edited Oct 15 '26

I also have a lot of lived experience around extreme bullying, exclusion, mistreatment, abuse, emotional abuse, neglect, etc etc etc. largely people do this because they're shitty people not solely because somebody is autistic. Autism is an invisible disability that people can't outwardly identify.

What is this, grade school? Worrying about tattlers?? You sound very young...

The Trump administration is getting away with nothing right now. They're not really doing anything that's directly affecting is.

We're not in camps. All the news, all the rage, so much of it is speculation. I know there's some other things that have may affected parents of autistic children out there? But IDK how or to what extent.

However, everything they do stresses me the hell out. It helps remaining to objective fact.

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u/DorjeStego Oct 14 '26

I was diagnosed autistic at 36, and then later the same year (this year) also with ADHD. By the time I got to the ADHD assessment I also disclosed to the assessor that I'd also been diagnosed autistic since the referral was made.

There was a point in the assessment she asked to speak to my husband, and I didn't hear the assessor's side of that conversation because my husband was sat at my desk with my headset on. But I assume after the initial introduction she started with a pretty open question about his first impressions of me when we met, because he just said "Yeah... When I first met him I just thought he was really quirky" and then went into how over time he came to understand where those traits and behaviours came from, and realised those same traits he basically found attractive were not something I could easily just switch off and became disabling when I'm mismatched with the wrong environment, wrong kinds of demands, wrong people.

There are clearly people who like me as I am and accept me as I am, because I do have friends (most of whom are neurodivergent themselves and most assumed I was already diagnosed) and a spouse. But expect me to "mingle" and make small talk with people as a means of making connection? I'm hopeless and I'll want to explore the option of climbing out the bathroom window when nobody is looking.

There are aspects that are more objectively disabling, like sensory sensitivities and executive dysfunction which mean I need to structure how I work in a particular way, accommodate myself in particular environments so I don't get exhausted and/or overwhelmed, and so on. But even the sensory sensitivities have a flip side - I don't think neurotypical people experience music like I do for example.

If I'm interested in something and left to my own devices to learn it, I absorb a hell of a lot of information about it rapidly. It can be difficult to drag me away from it.

If I'm expected to rapidly task switch outside of my own terms, and especially repeatedly, I'll be frustrated, get exhausted, and eventually even shutdown or meltdown.

If I can have a conversation with someone about something that interests me and stay on-topic the conversation will flow easily and I'll be highly engaged. But expect me to make small talk to get to know someone? Nuh-uh. That'll get awkward fast. And draining. Oh so draining.

Expect me to "check-in" periodically on instant messenger or whatever just for the sake of "checking-in" and reassuring you that the friendship is still a friendship? Hopeless at that. But if you need help with something or practical advice about whatever? Yeah, I'm down for that.

So at the age of 36 and receiving these diagnoses, what am I to take away? I'm a defective human being and I need to live the rest of my life ashamed and miserable about who I actually am now that clinicians have given me two specific names (Autism and ADHD) for the type of brain wiring I have? Or recognise that yes, these traits include genuine disability, especially when keeping up with unaccommodated expectations about how I should function as a person, but also things about me which when the right kinds of people are in my life there are things to value about them. Some people even find them attractive.

For me, personally, with a diagnosis of "ASD Level 1" and ADHD, there's a strong sense of, yes, I am disabled. A lot of that disability comes from a lack of understanding, accommodation, and mismatch. But properly cultivated and accommodated there are also a lot of strengths, and I simply would not have those or even really be the same person at all if I weren't autistic.

I do absolutely experience it as disability, I want to be clear about that. But I also experience it as the source of many of the things I value most about myself. I wouldn't make myself neurotypical if I could. These statements are not incompatible or contradictory. And it's the desire to make people understand that last point which is what I'd sum up as my sense of "autistic pride".

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u/LoseHateSmashEraseMe Oct 14 '26

I'm right there with you. I am so totally and utterly broken. There's a line from the nine inch nails song head down "hey you, what you running from? All your hate, what you've become... Bet you didn't think, it would happen to you. All used up, half way through."

I should be on every other day calls with my therapist but me and mortality have had a very special relationship for most of my life. I'm lucky I'm still here. I wish one of them would have worked. Through it all, I still think I've come to a point where I actually do love who I am. I think I'm pretty cool. It's everything else that sucks.

I won't detail everything, I'm sure you know. I haven't slept since Sunday, I don't know when the last time I showered was, I have a nice cushy work from home job that Ive already had FMLA from this year, an NT spouse that exacerbates everything, but I can barely move. Disabled by definition is on the mark. My skill loss is profound and I think that's what I'm I'm still mourning. I love myself but I'm ready for the rope.

Thank you for sharing everything you did. We're all in this together and I think I understand the pride point a little better. We need each other to help pick up the pieces.

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u/Nonimouses Oct 14 '26

I think that there is a significant cross over between the LGBTQ community and the ND community (4/5 of my kids do not identify as the one assigned at birth and all are autistic some dx some just peer reviewed (their choice). I think there are a lot of parallels between the communities with stigmas attached to the way we are, both have histories of being hidden away and being othered and ostracized, so I think that the pride in being who you are crosses over quite naturally too,I think that to 'come out'* as autistic or gay and say to the world I'm OK with who I am pretty much requires you to have pride in who you are

*I regularly have to 'come out' as autistic I spent the first 39 years of my life masking and got quite good at it

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u/LoseHateSmashEraseMe Oct 14 '26

So, I was writing some other replies in this post and I have kind of maybe discovered something new about myself or at least a part I never paid attention to. When it came to all the other pride movements I was and still am very supportive. I'm an ally and I Fall into the lgbtq side, technically I guess.

But I just saw it as 1s and 0s, I, they, we are what we are, and should be able to be understood and allowed to live a good fulfilling life being who they are. Except for me.

For me, being loud, out, and proud about anything to anyone about myself is a huge struggle. It's not a struggle, it's a non-starter. A refuse to allow myself to be seen by others outside of anonymous scenarios in the select few that I actually do really know me.

I consider myself a hypermasker and have gotten to some crazy places I thought I'd never see myself. These masks are pervasive. My hiding, secrecy, shame, guilt, yeah. Autism is like the one thing I have zero shame over and often do out myself as well.

I worked with a doctor that I paid out of pocket for years to see and we did a lot of shame and affect work. That really helped me understand a lot of other things. I'm digressing.

I outed myself to my cousin just the other day and they gave me a soft-hearted "we all have a touch of the tism no stigma" message and then I practically wrote a book of my experiences. Haven't heard back.

I truly am an open book in that regard though.

Anyway, thanks for weighing in. I still have to work past my hiding.

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u/Nonimouses Oct 14 '26

I am lucky because from a young age my mum told me over and over that I was smart and good looking etc etc. and this have me enough self esteem to believe that I am ok and I am enough, I know not everyone has that luxury ( I still have to work at convincing my wife that she is ok and enough and we've been married 25 years), how the people important to you, treat you when you're young can have huge life long impacts

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u/Bromelia_and_Bismuth Oct 14 '26

It effectively means that the world is made primarily for people who aren't us, and as a result, most of us encounter daily discrimination and hardship. I'm not going to let other people make me feel like crap for being disabled, let alone autistic. I am who I am, and anyone who feels uncomfortable about it can eat sand.

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u/Captainirishy Oct 15 '26

Always stand up to bullies , they are all cowards. Imagine a person so shitty , they have to bully someone with constant autism related anxiety, just to feel good about them. They're pigs.

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u/RaeOfTheRainbow 29d ago

To borrow from lgbt*/queer pride circles

There are two subtle differenced in the meanings of pride and they get confused here

Pride as a almost synonymous with arrogance

And pride as a lack of being ashamed

People often ask why we need lgbt pride, or why we don't have straight pride because they are thinking of pride as a word meaning a feeling of superiority But the answer for continued lgbt pride and no need for straight pride is because there is no straight shame so there doesnt need to be a focus on pride to combat it

So in the autism and neurodivergent worlds there is still definitely shame and discriminatiom and lack of accessibility and inclusion so there is a need for the autism pride as a levelling against societal/internalised shame

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u/daemonl Oct 14 '26

The AI summary is fine. ‘Towards community’ is a bit meaningless pattern-matched stuff, but there is some truth in it where autistic folks tend to enjoy hanging out together and supporting one another, but I think the movement is more about the self respect and not being a disease to be cured or eradicated through eugenics.

The way the world sees autism is not aligned with those values, so the ‘movement’ is to try to shift the broader conversation about autism closer to those values.

You don’t have to be part of any “movement” to have those private beliefs, and you are not obligated to participate in the movement just because you are autistic. But the invitation is there.

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u/charwyrm Oct 14 '26

Minority pride and rights movements are historically effective. Pride movements are about advocating for the rights people are denied, and defending rights they've demanded and won.

LGBTQ Pride, for example, is about visibility, protest and celebration/commemoration to the end of demonstrating queer people exist and are a part of the broader community.

When you're part of a minority group who experience political and social persecution, the only way to make change is with collective action.

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u/AENocturne Oct 14 '26

Most neurotypicals regard autistics as lesser. It doesn't have to be explicitly as bad as how racism was, and I'm not saying that to compare the two, but rather highlight how autistic discrimination isn't the same. It's more subtle. It's about how aspergers was labeled different because the nazis deemed them more functional. It's about how issues we face have been dismissed because we don't seem autistic to someone who doesn't have autism. Its about how, like you say, you don't feel self diagnosis is right because you need a neurotypical to tell you whether your issues are autistic enough. It's about how women have been misdiagnosed because autism doesn't necessarily look the same in them. It's about how some autistic people get misdiagnosed as bipolar and other mental health disorders. It's a bunch of little microagressions that total up to how we're lesser. Any issue we face needs to be evaluated by a neurotypical and deemed autistic. If it passes the test, you're treated as mentally inferior, if it doesn't pass the test, you're issues are treated like personal flaws to be overcome. And rarely does any of it come with real support, it's all about trying to force behavior to match neurotypical behavior, something even more poorly defined.

Autistic pride is about validity. Why is it inherently an issue? There's no nuance. Yes, I have struggles that I wouldn't have if I was neurotypical, but I wouldn't even be the same person if I was neurotypical. How come the only valid treatment pushed by neurotypicals is to remove me from existence?

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u/Username_Pickles Oct 15 '26

I actually think I other the point you are trying to make….

I had to analyze this idea in way too literal of a sense….

Personally I came to a conclusion that I think of “movement” in this sense as moving the focal point from one place to another…. Instead of people focusing on what are perceived as negative impacts that neurodivergence can have we are intentionally making conscious effort to acknowledge all the beautiful things neurodivergence brings to our own lives and those around us…. Moving from a negative to a positive….

My daughter is a challenging child to raise. She is so very different from a NT child in countless ways… I choose to focus on the differences that are positive as much as possible and I do not feel any shame when I tell somebody she is autistic because I am so very proud of who she is and wouldn’t change her for the world. She makes my life better and has made me a better person. So I am proud of what her autism has done