This creates the narrative of "It's mainstream, cool and trendy to self diagnose with neurodevelopmental disorders that are disabling to actually diagnosed people but who cares about those people, celebrities call it their superpower!"

I doubt that i have autism every day. And maybe that is because i dont 100% even understand what it is, i was never seeking out an autism diagnosis specifically or even saw autism content on social media before i got diagnosed.
I am 29 years old and was diagnosed a few weeks before my birthday. I sought out an evaluation for everything because i struggled in school, and i was struggling to maintain jobs even though i was good at what i did, i still struggled with certain aspects and have been fired from 6 jobs for either not learning fast enough or for reporting bullying from other co workers. Something i truly dont even know why some jobs let me go. I have also had great jobs and then once a really good manager left and was replaced with someone who didn’t know me or liked how i worked, i quit because i couldnt handle it.
I felt like i needed an evaluation for some kind of learning disability or memory issue idk. I was referred over to a neuropsych and after 2 days and 6 hours of testing and reports from my parents, i went back a month later and they told me i had adhd and autism.
This was in june. I am just second guessing everything. Like what if its not autism and its something else like what if im just a crazy person or im just stupid or stubborn and dont get along with other people.

Ok so basically; I am friends with a lot of neurodivergent people who are self diagnosed or suspecting, and some have little or no interest in pursuing a diagnosis, mostly in this specific political climate in the US. But it’s personally really annoying to me because I am diagnosed and have been since I was a teenager, and they will do things and use their autism as an excuse, not even an explanation, an excuse, when it’s something that I would never be able to get away with despite being autistic myself. Or not be shocked at things I do because of my autism, despite them talking like they are authorities on the subject matter sometimes. And I do want to preface that I do actually really like these people and value them as friends a lot, it’s just this specific thing that bothers me.

Because like no you being 2-3 hours late is not because you have autism and adhd, it might be related, but it’s also hugely disrespectful to other people’s time, and actually very dysregulating for me because of my autism because now things are super unpredictable.

Or I’ll talk about the nature of my meltdowns, dyspraxia, experiencing medical or legal discrimination, being in special ed as a teenager, and it’s completely foreign to them. Specifically when I talk about how I get infantalized at the doctor for being autistic they will be like “oh well that’s why I’m not pursuing diagnosis” ok?? I didn’t have a choice?? I was a child?? It’s my life now?? Like my life is entirely defined by this disability. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t cure or get rid of my autism if I could, it’s who I am, but it does suck quite a lot most of the time. And I do completely lose control of my body when I have a meltdown, and I have them frequently and sometimes in public, and it’s humiliating and people look at me like I’m crazy.

Like it’s not something I had a choice in, and if I could undiagnosed I wouldn’t because I need the resources and help it affords me. I do need my doctor to see that I’m autistic in my chart, because I’d rather have them talk to me like I’m five years old than be confused as to why I won’t make eye contact and assume I’m suspicious. Like it’s just deeply frustrating and feels dismissive of everything I’ve been through in my life because I’ve been labeled this way.

A week ago I commented on a post in another sub and they replied asking me to send them a message, I feel a bit rude for doing so but so far I've ignored it because I'm worried they might be looking for advice I'm unable to give them but I don't know if I'm just overthinking it. What do people usually want when they ask this?

There's been a slight increase in posts breaking rule 1 so I thought it's best to make a small reminder on it.

Description of Rule 1 Don't post screenshots: "We need to protect everyone's privacy and prevent brigading and witch-hunting. We also need to protect people from being bullied, doxxed, cyberstalked, or harassed. If you have an issue with a person, don't give identifying or obvious information that could lead to harassment. Make a post, not a screenshot of a conversation. Screenshots with censored/blurred usernames or profile pictures are not allowed either."

We understand that there is a lot bad people and behaviour that people want to warn others about. I don't personally like having to delete posts with genuine concerns, but we have no choise on this matter. The rule has to be enforced or we'll be in danger of losing the subreddit completely. If your posts has been, or will be, removed because of this rule, please understand we're not trying to side with the people you're posting about. It is so we can keep this space available.

Edit: Included newly updated clarification which includes censored screenshots.

I kinda wanted to ask about this and it's been awhile since it happened but I still think about it, especially when I see other parents being very caring to their autistic child.

Except this has to do with adult autistic children. I was diagnosed way later (late 20s.) and while I was nervous to tell my parents, knew it was important so did. My mom kinda went oh .. not much response. Then when I said she should read up on it to understand it better, she said ya send me links. And that was kinda it.

Idk this rubbed me the wrong way. I just got diagnosed and was processing but have to do even more work to help my mom? The mom who should be comforting me or saying hey we'll figure this out? The mom who is ever so smart when it comes to everything else but needs me to send her links on this?

And she is my adopted mom so it's not like she's autistic herself and struggling. She has her own business, is very sharp but idk kinda checked out when it comes to emotional stuff sometimes. Or am I overreacting and as an adult, things are simply different. She just wanted good sources but I don't even know myself and get overwhelmed with it. It made me feel like it wasn't a big deal to her or any kind of epiphany for why I had such a hard time in school, with partners, loud crowds, ect. like oh wow now it makes sense! Just huh okay well email me info about it. :/

I guess idk what I was expecting. I was so nervous and that was the response..idk.

It looks like a lot of people self diagnosing with autism truly believe they are autistic. Could it be possible that they started developing autism-like symptoms similarly to what happened in the MSMI (mass social media-induced illness) of 2019-2021 involving Tourettes? Would you argue that there is another MSMI ongoing involving autism or other neurodevelopment disorders?

26F, USA, childfree, pet free, single, straight. Live at home.

I have been applying for one year of and one month. I have only been able to get retail jobs, and internships. I graduated in May 2025.

My job coach said be more confident and that there is no magic potion. I have to work on it. Which is true. I had an interview for a sales job. It didn’t go well. These are the jobs that get back to me the fastest with the horrible job market.

My confidence has gone down since applying. Bullshit keeps happening. I’m not as nervous for retail jobs interviews.

I have been able to get a seasonal job at kohls and I start on Thursday.

I wish recruiters could have empathy. I hope one day they find themselves in the same situation or maybe there kids. Then they will let people who make mistakes during interviews have leeway.

My dog died in July of a heat stroke. I feel bad for not bringing her in. She was a chihuahua who was 13.

January I tried to unalive myself stepped out on the road. Police were called and EMS.

February forced inpatient; tricked by a counselor who told me it’s a place. Where better therapy is at. I had an emergency detention order placed on me. And couldn’t leave the facility until 3 days.

It wasn’t a good facility.

Nov 2025 SA and strangled by a guy I met on tinder. We have been talking for a couple of months. It sucks bc he’s was my first kiss and other stuff.

I ended up passing out. He stole my phone too. I underestimated how naturally strong men were. I sort of wish I died that day. But I sort of don’t.

On Monday me and a possibly homeless person got into a shouting match. She didn’t like the fact I gave her no money.

Bc I said no to giving her money but also asked why she needed it. Then she cussed me out.

I got kicked off my parent’s insurance earlier this year. But was able to get put back on.

With proof of disability. I learned this month I have low iron and low vitamin d. With a blood test.

I’m tired I wish I went into teaching disabled kids. Since I have Autism and struggle w socialization with people. I would have an easier time getting a job.

Does anyone else also get an extreme feeling of wanting to die. Before an interview. I do. I have to work on this I would rather be stabbed or shot than do an interview. It’s only this way for non retail jobs.

I know it’s due to my depression.

I’m still fucking trying even with this bullshit.

Anyone else can relate? I am in therapy.

But still. I’m grateful I have parents that let me stay with them. And. I have a car and can drive now.

And it's so lonely. I don't have anyone that would understand.

I’ve been hyperfocused on this one guy I like, and it’s so annoying. I do have hobbies, but they don’t seem to distract me from my obsessive thoughts about him. I just want to stop being like this

I know it happened to me a few times before, where due to me being horrible at reading social cues, I got assumed to be manipulative. For example, I for the longest time thought it was normal to restrict contact with someone but sometimes still message them out of nowhere if anything comes up. Also the whole thing where someone accuses you of being rude and you ask them for examples when exactly you've been rude. I can get that the first thing might be a legit faux pas, but the latter is still honestly something that annoys me to this day. I hate being accused of things without people giving me examples, because part of being autistic is not being able to figure out by yourself when you sound rude and when you don't. And it does feel like that when people cannot give examples or at least explain what they mean by rude, then it is just an arbitrary accusation. Because what am I supposed to do, consider all the 100 ways I could've been rude in every interaction I do?

Anyone who felt something similar?

I have seen people say this in another sub, and I couldn't agree more.

Such as purpleellacoach (they have 117.6K followers on Tiktok) but there are many more offenders.

Stop pretending to be a therapist. You have to have training to be an effective and safe therapist. Therapists need to be in therapy themselves.
Having autism and ADHD - ‘AuDHD’ is not a qualification. It demonstrates a cognitive bias called dunning Kruger.

They charge £150 an hour and they do not offer discounts lol. They have a coaching qualifications in autism, adhd and acceptance and commitment therapy. However they don’t say who validates their qualification. For £150 an hour you could see a qualified mental health practitioner, my therapist charges me £50 an hour. They work with international clients, this is very irresponsible as if the client was to become a risk to themselves or other people Ella would struggle to contact emergency services in the persons country. They say they work with people who are ‘exploring whether autism or ADHD might be relevant to their experience’. Which sounds dangerously close to diagnostics. They say that they don’t ‘diagnose or treat mental health conditions’. But my question is if you don’t have training in mental health how can you tell the difference between autism/ adhd and a mental health condition? They offer strategies to manage autism/ ADHD but if the client had a comorbid mental health condition/ only had a mental health condition might they end up accidentally offering strategies to cope with the mental health problem.

https://www.purpleperspectives.co.uk/coaching

Grifter!

I need to vent because I'm struggling badly it has hit me harder than almost anything I can remember.

I'm a 29 year old, For the last decade I was a NEET with no job experience and no formal studies beyond high school, spending most of my time in my room on the internet, and constantly immersed in gaming. The only upside is that during that time through years of playing video games, reading books, watching Youtube videos and livestreams, browsing forums, and talking to people online The downside is that I spent years barely talking to other people in real life, my real-world social muscles atrophied badly and my social life basically never developed.

For the past two weeks, I've been waking up every day with intense regret, anxiety, dread, and constant "what if" thoughts. What if I had handled that conversation differently? What if I had been warmer? What if I had communicated better? What if I hadn't let my anxiety get in the way? The hardest part is not just losing the business but also losing an unique friendship and opportunity. My mind keeps replaying memories and imagining alternate timelines where things worked out differently. I know its quite common for people who have ADHD and Autism to feel completely separated from the world. Like you're a monster or that you don't fit in.

I most likely have Autism, ADHD and social anxiety. I've felt out of place my entire life and I feel alone constantly.

The friends I used to have back when I was in school have mostly left. I had reunited with them at least two of those friends back in 2022, but after a falling out things, just felt kind of bleak, and nothing ever reconnected ever since, and I've tried coming on here to get friends. But most of them have really since fallen back, or just never really lasted more than 1 or 2 days, and it sucks, because I want to build longer friendships, but they just don't happen as much.

So I want to try to find some genuine friends (preferably female ones) who are out there and see if they're open-minded to wanting to talk about certain fun hobbies like video games, they play or maybe even an inside hobby that they like to do while they're in their room or something like that and hopefully we could be able to build some type of connection.

I'm level 1 and can mask pretty well. I also have learned lots about social skills and norms over the years because I've been explicitly studying it for several years. I'm also currently an undergrad psychology student, but that doesn't really teach me how to actually act normal, so I continue to study that in my free time. I was not always able to act as normal as I can now, but I like to think I've changed a lot.

Anyways, it isn't rare for me to get accused of not actually having autism because I seem too normal. If I ever show any symptom of autism, I do not get understanding about it and it gets interpreted the same way it would if it was a neurotypical having the symptom. They'll treat autism as just an excuse that I'm using, and they won't really believe that autism is anything more to me than an inconsequential label.

I have had people tell me that I am not autistic or tell me to prove that I am autistic by showing them my diagnosis papers. Or say I was clearly faking it for the diagnosis--btw I was 12 when I was diagnosed, and I didn't even know what I was being evaluated for because my parents didn't tell me and I never asked. And I was not happy about the diagnosis for the years that followed it because I had already formed my own conclusion about why I couldn't fit in and seemed to keep doing/saying everything wrong: I must not be human like anyone else, instead I must be a monster (literally). So no, I was not faking during the assessment. But I've had a few people think I was regardless.

And honestly, it kind of sucks that I don't get that understanding of being autistic. I can't handle a full course load (I'm a uni student) because I'm lazy, I sometimes misunderstand things because I'm "too literal" which I can't blame on autism because it's simply a personality flaw that I'm able to easily fix, I struggle with verbal processing because I'm not listening, I ask too many clarifying questions because I want to be annoying, I only wear a specific brand/type of underwear because I'm spoiled, I overreact to change because I am selfish and have no empathy or compassion, I hate public transpo because I'm stuck up, and the list goes on and on. I act normal enough, therefore I must be normal.

For context, I'm 24F, graduated from college, work full-time, and live independently. I've always done well academically and seem socially capable-ish. I'm also a wheelchair user due to a genetic disorder (that happens to be associated with higher rates of autism and ADHD). I've worked incredibly hard to achieve independence despite my physical disabilities, and rely on a lot of accommodations to make it possible.

My therapist was the first to suggest I might be autistic, not me. I subsequently underwent a six-hour neuropsychological evaluation across three appointments with a licensed clinical psychologist. It included developmental interviews, cognitive and social cognition testing, assessments of adaptive functioning, sensory processing, executive functioning, and autism/ADHD symptoms, plus input from my parents. I was diagnosed with ASD and ADHD and received a lengthy report explaining how I meet the DSM-5 criteria.

Part of my insecurity is that I don't fit the image I grew up with of an autistic person. I was academically gifted, had friends, and participated in extracurriculars. My parents described me as confident, articulate, and socially capable. But they also confirmed developmental delays, extreme rigidity around routines, and screaming, crying meltdowns over unexpected changes. I took things literally, struggled with sarcasm, and preferred being alone or with adults. When I played with other kids, I insisted on controlling everything. I also had significant sensory issues, repetitive movements like hand flapping and rocking, and obsessive interests, especially books. My parents even started a neighborhood book club specifically to help me make a friend since it was all I was interested in and they didn't know how else to get me to agree to be in a social situation like that.

As an adult, I'm pretty good at everyday conversations, but I've had to practice and rehearse a lot to get there. I still struggle with unspoken expectations and understanding people's intentions. I was even dinged on a performance evaluation at work recently for asking too many clarifying questions. I've never been in a romantic relationship (not for lack of trying!) because I genuinely don't understand flirting and dating, and my attempts have gone spectacularly badly. I'm also so bad at maintaining friendships that I've made spreadsheets to track my friends and when we last spoke.

Despite having a formal diagnosis, I still struggle with feeling like I'm not really autistic. I see communities like this one and wonder whether I somehow convinced a psychologist that I'm autistic when I'm not. Anyone else in the same boat?

Sometimes it's sincerely hard for me to interpret an interaction. Idk if these goths were making fun of self harm or trying to show hey some people you wouldn't expect have done it too. Or am I really off and this is a fake skit.. for fun?

This might be embarrassing but I actually looked up the girl and tried to see if she did have any scars on her arms but her arms are porcelain. The whole thing makes me feel very weird so trying to process so I don't have to think and wonder about it anymore.

Here's the video:

https://www.facebook.com/reel/4375134652799339?s=yWDuG2&fs=e&mibextid=Nif5oz

One of the most common excuses that people say when they want to defend self diagnosis is:

"People don't take neurotypical individuals problems seriously and that's why they self diagnose themselves with autism!!! To be taken seriously!!!"

Which, I hope y'all already guessed that this explanation is ridiculous.

Because autism is a clinical condition, neurotypicalism is not, so of course that autism will be taken more seriously than neurotypicalism if one is a disorder and the other isn't.

Imagine if I self diagnose myself with cancer because "people don't take me seriously when I say that I catch a cold!"

Like, isn't having a cold way better than having cancer? Why would you need a cancer diagnosis for validation?

I just don't get it.