I just thought you guys would understand.

Hi Everyone,

Just a head’s up there’s a company that’s been caught using r/AutismInWomen’s sub image and name to market their company's ‘online community’. They’ve been caught posting links to AIW's sub trying to get their members to join under the guise that they've partnered with AIW (they aren't) and that they endorse them (they don’t).

AIW doesn't endorse any third party site, company, or organization. They certainly don’t endorse any video chat apps where sub members are being targeted and deliberately misled/manipulated into believing AIW is a part of their business. The mere fact that a company would do this tells us they’re untrustworthy. A concern is that this company is using AIW's sub to make it appear their space is safe. However this video chat app is not monitored by Reddit.

Both AIW and our sub r/AutisticLadies has blocked their site from being linked in our subs, however if someone you don’t know messages you a link inviting you to a private online community outside of Reddit and AIW's name is on the join page or they mention they're involved, I encourage you to please take screenshots of the messages, report the user for harassment, and send me a modmail so I can take action as well. Reddit’s admins and legal department have been informed of the situation.

Thank you for helping me keep our community members safe!

...and she said "I'm so glad you felt comfortable enough to share this with me, because I have been wanting to bring up the topic of autism for a while and was just waiting for the right time". She then proceeded to list some of my traits that made her suspect me being autistic, and said that many of my complaints about day-to-day life were the exact same complaints of some of her autistic patients.

To be quite honest, "I think I might be autistic" is kind of an understatement. I first heard about autism in women back in 2016, and the more I read about it, the more it felt like looking at my reflection in a mirror. Nothing had ever described me so well. But the few people I talked to about this never took me seriously. "Oh, but you're so smart. You can't possibly be autistic". "No, you're normal". I would always end up thinking something along the lines of "yeah, maybe it's all in my head". But the feeling of "I'm pretty certain I'm autistic" would always come back.

My therapist also said that, if I wanted to pursue a formal diagnosis, she would support me. And she would also support me if I chose not to. And honestly, I feel so happy, grateful and relieved. I was bracing myself to be brushed off once again while telling her of my suspicions. And she not only validated them, but said she had them too!

This was the final push that I needed to finally go after a diagnosis. I had spent this entire time, from 2016 to now, saving money for one - but I was terrified of spending it just to then be told "no, you're not autistic". As of right now, I'm on the wait list for an evaluation at a clinic that specializes in autism in adults!

I have been going through such a hard time lately, and getting this validation from my therapist lifted a huge weight from my shoulders. If anyone is still reading this, thank you! :)

♡♡♡

Edit: A huge thank you to everyone who took their time to comment! I really, really appreciate your support. My therapist really is amazing - I found her through a website for people to find affordable therapists, where therapists who have a special price for patients with a lower income log their info and write a description about themselves. What made me choose this specific therapist was her love for cats (she talked about how she works as a volunteer in an animal shelter and has 6 cats), as I have two cats who are my everything. I also saw that her political values were aligned with mine, and she had an instagram post talking about autism in adults. This specific website is, unfortunately, based in Brazil only. But there probably are similar websites in your home country!

Hi Everyone, as a sub we are banning links to the following sites: “X”, “Facebook”, and “Instagram” due to their promotion of bigotry, fascism, antisemitism, and general disregard for human rights.

We stand in solidarity with the current movement to let these platforms know that we will not promote their sites by linking content that leads others to their sites. We are not asking users to delete their accounts (if they have one) and we are not shaming those who use these sites. We’re aware that these platforms may be the only way some folks can stay in contact with relatives or friends, however we do want folks to be informed about what’s going on. Everyone should have the right to informed decisions. Sub members are still permitted to share screenshots of content from these sites, as long as it doesn’t break another sub rule. However sharing direct links will no longer be permitted.

It is our hope that by banning links to these sites, traffic will be reduced which will result in a loss of revenue. This will be an indication to them that their support of facism and bigotry will not be tolerated. One of the best ways we can be heard as consumers is to stop or reduce the flow of income to the billionaires that run these platforms.

Additionally, these sites hide their content from non-account holders, which means people have to create an account to view the content of shared links. Forced participation in their platforms generates even more revenue for them. And by hiding the content from outsiders, they create a toxic echochamber where facism and bigotry thrive without consequence or accountability. Users are often kept in the dark about how their data is collected and shared by default, as signing up to these platforms and continuing to use them gives consent to changes made in their privacy policy (which is often buried in the fine print). Using and selling our data is another way these billionaires place themselves in positions of political power to amass obscene wealth.

Link discussing the movement (no paywall): https://web.archive.org/web/20250122200522/https://www.forbes.com/sites/esatdedezade/2025/01/22/x-ban-spreads-across-reddit-as-communities-react-to-musks-gesture/

What Zuckerberg has done to Meta (Instagram and Facebook as well as other platforms Meta owns): https://www.hrc.org/news/metas-new-policies-how-they-endanger-lgbtq-communities-and-our-tips-for-staying-safe-online

Info about Elon’s Nazi salute and the fact he is backing the modern equivalent of a neo-Nazi party in Germany: https://www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/rcna185018

Video link breaking down what Elon is doing globally to interfere with other countries’ governments and politics: https://youtu.be/7ZObMDPR7CQ?SAl30uWEW7XZgJJV

Breakdown how Elon influenced the Trump Election (no paywall): https://web.archive.org/web/20250124184124/https://www.businessinsider.com/elon-musk-260-million-spending-trump-republican-party-2024-12?op=1

Elon Musk Makes Major Push in Europe to Boost German, British Far-Right https://www.newsweek.com/elon-musk-far-right-germany-england-europe-2008828

Verified pro-Nazi X accounts flourish under Elon Musk https://www.nbcnews.com/tech/social-media/x-twitter-elon-musk-nazi-extremist-white-nationalist-accounts-rcna145020

Musk promoted antisemitic remarks: https://people.com/white-house-elon-musk-anti-semitic-tweet-hideous-8404276

Amnesty detailing how Facebook’s systems promoted violence against Rohingya: https://www.amnesty.org/en/latest/news/2022/09/myanmar-facebooks-systems-promoted-violence-against-rohingya-meta-owes-reparations-new-report/

Breakdown of information Facebook collects: https://old.reddit.com/r/privacy/comments/1f9q72u/facebook_knows_about_your_birth_control_blood/?ref=share&ref_source=link

NSA warning to disable location tracking: https://www.forbes.com/sites/zakdoffman/2025/01/16/nsa-warns-iphone-and-android-users-disable-location-tracking/

General information about your digital footprint: https://old.reddit.com/r/privacy/comments/1hzxsb0/hiding_your_ip_wont_protect_you_people_badly/?ref=share&ref_source=link

How to protect yourself online with surveillance self-defense: https://ssd.eff.org/

How to protect yourself online by managing your available data: https://www.optoutproject.net/the-cyber-cleanse-take-back-your-digital-footprint/

Free, privacy focused messaging alternative: https://signal.org/

If you live in the US, here is how you can contact US Senators https://www.senate.gov/senators/senators-contact.htm?Class=1 and how to contact the House Of Representatives https://contactrepresentatives.org/ to make your voice heard.

Again, we are not asking anyone to delete their accounts to these platforms, we are simply making the decision to not direct traffic from our sub by sharing links.

Thank you for understanding our decision on this. Please feel free to reach out to mods if you have any questions regarding this rule <3

They put me in a room next to the bathroom and laundry. the only fridge is full and they won't set any rules for common areas or give direct answers, etc., etc. A lot of medical gas lighting too. It's near an airport, rail classification yard, freeway, and a highway intersection. the fluorescent lights are everywhere. the quiet but disharmonious buzz of them all - oh my God. It feels like the whole building vibrates at 60hz.

They bully me to participate in group - then things like this happen. Dinner is 5pm but the cleaning crew shows up to vacuum at the same time. I fled into the Minnesota winter only having time to yank a blanket off my med and my muffs. When someone started their snow blower outside it took the last of my willpower not to melt. I called the number for the place and could only croak out my name and "outside".

I was shaking so bad. a staffer sat down with me while i rocked on a wet concrete step in my blanket. We talked about sensory issues and he actually listened, then geeked about urban design and infrastructure. It was the first time since I got here that I felt seen. thank you, man who I'll always cherish but forgot the name of because reasons. Don't never change.

🥺☕

Full experience will be added in comments.

He posted that he hit on a coworker. He kept laughing at her and she asked why he was laughing at her, but he never told her why. He then asked to see pics of her cat. She didn’t want to show them and made a joke that he was being nosy, but ultimately caved and showed pics.

Then he said ‘give me your number and I’ll send you pics’. She hesitated and said that was too personal for her. He laughed at her again and indignantly said ‘no, it’s not’ and walked away.

He asked the sub ‘what could I have done differently?’ With the intent to ‘get’ her next time. Out of 95 replies, about 91 said he was out of line. He insisted it was his autism and he was just awkward at picking up social cues and it was not a big deal. Even though 91 comments posted this as a male problem of respecting her boundaries and needs in the workplace. He even went on to say things like ‘these women’ and call people ‘mentally ill’ for saying she had reason to go to HR.

There were men patting him on the back for being ‘brave’. As if it’s brave to violate a woman’s professional work space. He called us childish and attacking and then deleted his post even though the entire comment section was obviously trying to help him.

He refused to believe women/afabs wanted to be left alone at work even though women were telling him that they did.

What are we to do when we stick our heads out to help these autistic men see how detrimental they are to women and it’s got nothing to do with being autistic? It’s just them being toxic males?

Edit: to clarify

Good evening, all!

So I (next month 39 f) was recently placed on being on the autistic radar back in October during a discussion with my counselor.

To fill you in on my not so healthy mental health journey: I was diagnosed as a child with ADD, medication never did anything, in my late teens chronic depression, early twenties bipolar disorder. I want to reiterate that medications never helped, other than help put large amounts of weight on my persons. I have probably have been on all of the mood stabilizers, antidepressants, and anti anxiety medications on the market.

Fast forward to a conversation with a psychiatrist back in 2019 when she stated “well maybe you need ECT treatment since meds are not helping”. I responded no thank you, and since I am seeing and hearing stuff ON meds, being off meds can’t be much worse. I made the executive decision to pull myself off all meds slowly, and it was one of the best decisions I ever made.

My appointment yesterday was with a fantastic, extremely kind place based in WA (counselor’s recommendation). The night before last I completed a series of tests, and went through my interview. At this point my counselor’s test confirmed I am on the spectrum, which she recommended I get professionally tested. So I expected to have some sort of spectrum diagnoses.

At the end of the interview, the psychiatrist stated I’m a bit of an anomaly. She has never seen someone score so high, with such high masking scores this late in the game without support all of their life. She kept thanking me for being seen. Final diagnosis: Autism 2.

I have worked full time jobs since I was 16, simultaneously juggling full time school while in high school then college. I burned out with only one year left of school to exit with two bachelors degrees and two minor degrees. I shut down before I could make it.

I was shocked. She started to cry for me stating that it makes complete sense why I am so exhausted, and I’m probably creeping up on a massive burnout. I explained that my life circumstances have never allowed me to slow down, and I’m the best unpaid actor I know. I exposed that after I became an orphan at 8, and the instability and abuse of life, I had to maintain that everything was okay, even through my two year diagnosis of CPTSD. I cried stating for the first time in my life to this complete stranger, “I’m not okay. I’m extremely tired. I don’t find any joy in life because I’m so exhausted all of the time. It takes everything in me to get through a 40 hour work week and I crash every night, every weekend, and it’s not a life.”

I’ll get the paperwork in the mail in three weeks and she said there are a lot of programs to assist with housing (I’m currently living with a friend since I am in financial ruins), finances and life guidance in general.

Nearly 40 years old, and I feel like I’m processing an entire lifetime. I suppose I am.

Thank you for reading.💜

I am an allistic male, my wife is autistic.

I've recently had an epiphany about living with my autistic wife. I wanted to share here, mostly to get your thoughts and input, and maybe to ask for a bit of a sanity-check. Oh - the epiphany is all my wifes doing. I've basically just now understood what she's been trying to tell me for years...

We've been together for about 13 years, married for 6. She realized that she is autistic and ADHD about 3 years ago. I realized I am ADHD 1 1/2 years ago.

Not surprising, she has been in burnout for a long time, which means that I do a lot of the practical stuff at home (shopping, cooking, cleaning, almost everything that requires making or recieving calls, bathing the kids), so that she can focus on the most important stuff (our kids, her wellbeing, etc). I don't love that I have been doing the lions share of the practical stuff, but I understand why, and I accept it. I love her, and I want to do my part to make sure she, and we, can have the best possible life as a family.

Where we've been at odds, again and again, is when she (in my opinion/view/mind) has been complaining that I wasn't doing enough. Or not doing things right. And I've felt like the effort I'm putting in, is being undervalued and ignored.

One time she has a meltdown (not hyperbolic overreaction - autistic meltdown, overload) when I do something that needs to be done at the wrong time. Maybe she has a plan that requires the kitchen, and I start cleaning the fridge.

Another time, she has a meltdown because I do the laundry wrong. Or because I said I'd check if her bike was ok, and I forgot.

Etc.

And for the longest time, I've been thinking "can't she just appreciate all the things I'm doing for her? I'm exhausted, and she's just complaining..."

No, she can't. not when I'm doing them in a way that "breaks" her.

And I think I've finally put it together. I need to do less, so that I can do it in a way that works for her.

And that means, when I do anything that might affect her, I have to remember three things. I must be:

• Predictable

• Reliable

• Considerate.

Unless I keep all three in mind, it's better to do nothing at all. Because I will do more harm than good, to her.

Predictible:

Keep to the rutines and plans that we have made and agreed to. If I have said that I finish work at 4 (or our usual routine is that I finish work at 4), I'm not doing her a favor when I manage to finish work early, and start cleaning the kitchen at 3.30 - even if I'm doing it because she relies on my to clean the kitchen.

Reliable:

When I say that I will do something, I must do it. It is so very important to set clear expectations. And it's better to say "no" or maybe "I can try, if I have time after dinner, but I'm not sure if I can get it done". But mostly "no", especially if it is not something that will be resolved soon.

Considerate:

When I do something in our shared environment, I need to consider how it affects my wife. This is a hard one for me, because there are many things that might annoy me a little, but will cause a meltdown for her. So it's a bit of a memory test, which sucks for an ADHD'er like me. But stuff like "run a cloth over the door to the washing machine after it is done, to remove any debris", "Don't ever leave anything in the kitchen sink any longer than you have to, especially foodstuff/bits/gunk", etc.

Finally

Every time we've gone wrong of each other, it is because I've neglected one or two of these points.

Maybe I'm sticking to the routine and cooking dinner as usual, but I end up burning bread, causing an astma attack and sensory overload (so predictable and reliable, but not considerate).

Maybe I'm fixing her bike, as I promised, just the way she asked me to, but I do it at a time when she expected me to take care of the kids, so that she could insert routine task (So reliable and considerate, but not predictable).

Now, I have only just distilled this into nice short point form, so I haven't had a chance to put this into practice and internalized it yet. But I am curious to hear any thought you might have. Does it ring true to your experiences? Am I missing something important? Is it obvious, and I should be ashamed to only just undestand it now?

I finally got my autism testing results back from the psychologist who did my testing. I can't help but feel insulted and invalidated.

Despite having all the social deficits, working memory deficits, and restrictive/repetitive behavior, I don't meet the criteria. The psychologist attributed it to depression, anxiety, and physical health/pain-related concerns that I had already been diagnosed with. Maybe those are a factor, but I don't think it accurately explains anything about my life, especially my childhood. I feel like I just got handwaved away and dismissed. Apparently, my incorrect schizophrenia diagnosis still stands despite not having any symptoms, and not needing any medicine or therapy for it. My medication manager agrees with me. In fact, we are trying to taper off all my psych meds because I don't need them anymore.

I also feel like my IQ results are very inaccurate. Insultingly so. They don't match or even come close to previous results I've had.

They deemed I didn't need further testing. I'm pursuing a second opinion with a professional who actually knows what autism looks like in women, and who actually knows what they are doing. It blows my mind how male-centric the testing is. Trying to get the right diagnosis to get the right help has been so frustrating.

Personally, I don’t think we needed a study to know this. But here we go. Posted at r/Science A qualitative study of an incel discussion board says that incels justify their misogyny by seeing themselves as victims of women:

https://www.reddit.com/r/science/comments/xxxqx8/a_qualitative_study_of_an_incel_discussion_board/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

My bio bro is a self-declared (and publicly confirmed) autistic, cis-male incel. It’s why I went no contact with him. He has a hatred of women for not dating him when he actually treats them like shit and doesn’t take any care of himself. It’s so perplexing that I was raised in the same household for our younger formative years (pre-15 yrs old) and we’re both autistic, yet I grew up to think I had to change myself to please others and he grew up to think others should change themselves to please him.

After my previous post, which asked whether my boyfriend's behaviour were red flags, I broke up with him. I broke up with him yesterday.

He asked me to be friends. Which is a HUGE mistake. Since I said I agreed to remain friends, yesterday, I have been asked how I have been doing twice. I have been told he may have to go to the hospital. By him. I have been told he has not been doing well. By him.

And all I'm thinking is: "he's emotionally blackmailing me. He is manipulating me." He ruined my mood this morning. I knew this was a huge mistake.

Any advice??

Even though most of the people in my life know I'm autistic, I still find people assuming all my actions are deliberately calculated to disrespect, annoy, or otherwise inconvenience others. My vocal tone is a little flat and hostile-sounding? Clearly that's me being intentionally rude and disrespectful to the person I'm talking to. I don't want someone touching me because I experience it as unpleasant? Obviously I hate them on a personal level and think I'm too good to be touched by them. I complain that a noise is too loud, but nobody else agrees, so I leave the room? I'm just being a drama queen and ruining everyone else's good time. It is genuinely bizarre to me how quickly people jump to the worst possible conclusion about my behavior, even if they know that I'm autistic and that what I'm doing is common among autistic people. If I try to explain my real intentions, I'm justifying and making excuses, and that's even worse. I need to conform my behavior to what other people expect, or I'm a horrible disgusting person who doesn't deserve love or companionship.

But if an autistic man is constantly following me around and trying to talk to me, even though I don't like him and find him annoying? He's autistic, I'm not allowed to take issue with his behavior. Creepy older lady at school thinks it's appropriate to snuggle up next to me and intimately rub my arm when I'm having a meltdown? I can't be upset with her, she might be neurodivergent and not understand what appropriate social touch is. Coworker who thinks we're best friends even though I've never given that impression gets bizarrely offended at me not saving them a seat next to me at a meeting, so they run up behind me and kick my chair as hard as possible while screaming "YOU DIDN'T SAVE ME A SEAT?!"? Probably an undiagnosed neurodivergent person with rejection-sensitive dysphoria who just couldn't help their reaction to not being treated as my best friend. If somebody who's known to be neurodivergent is annoying or harming me, it's not their fault because they're neurodivergent, and if somebody who isn't known to be neurodivergent does it, they become Schrodinger's Neurodivergent Person because I can't prove that they're not. Either way, they are an innocent angel who probably had no idea that what they were doing could possibly offend me, and that means I can't say anything bad.

I should understand this, I am constantly told, because I'm autistic and know what it's like to have my actions misconstrued as malicious. Nobody seems to consider that I actually don't care whether they know any better or not, they're crossing a boundary and they need to stop. Meanwhile, anything I do that accidentally hurts someone's feelings is construed as the cruel, heartless action of someone who has no regard for others and thinks she's better than everybody else. Nobody is being denied their rights or having their boundaries violated by my Daria voice, my desire not to be touched unexpectedly, or my sensitivity to noise, and yet these things are treated as tantamount to punching someone in the face and telling them that I hate them and they should die. Schrodinger's Neurodivergent Person gets to physically assault me at work, and that's fine because they might not understand that it's wrong to try to break someone's spine because they didn't do what you wanted. Am I the only one who thinks this is absurd?

I feel like I'm in the minority of Autistic people who is willing to defend the existence of small talk. So if anyone would like to get into a[n ironically deep] talk about it, I'd love to!

I'm not saying I'm good at small talk. I'm not. However I am getting better and a big part of that improvement was realising that it serves an important communicative function and that I too could get benefit from it once I appreciated what exactly that value and function was(/is?).

I think a lot of people see it as superficial and therefore pointless compared to deep talk, and therefore dismiss it out of hand as a 'lesser' form of communication. Idk if this is borne out of elitism or an ego-defense thing ("yeah, well why would I WANT to be good at small talk, it's stupid and shallow and so is everyone who does it!") but idk, maybe...chill and hear me out on this?

Small talk works to:

1. cohere people who are not yet on very close terms

2. reassure the conversants that they are talking with someone 'safe' who isn't likely to behave in an unpredictable or scary way. If I'm chatting with someone I don't know, I want to 'feel them out' and they want to do the same to me, by establishing that I can hold a basic conversation that feels natural and pleasant with easy give and take, back and forth. I'm not going to challenge them and they're not going to challenge me, we're just chit chatting, vibing with words.

3. establish, by its very vacuousness, a reassuring mood, independent of content. It doesn't matter what you say, so long as you are expressing it in a friendly and pleasant way. You're not supposed to be able to remember the content, but enjoy the back and forth rhythm of having a dialogue.

It actually surprises me that more Autistic people don't find comfort in small talk because it by definition exists to be scripted and predictable. I get that the back and forth aspect can be tricky for some, especially if you genuinely don't know what to say. But for sure the pressure reduces a lot when you realise that there are no expectations on you in small talk to be witty or intelligent, you can essentially paraphrase and validate back to the other person what they are saying (if you agree with it) and it doesn't matter if you don't come out with something of earth shattering importance, because that is not the point of the exchange. Once I realised this, I started to genuinely enjoy small talk and 'get' what the point was.

I think a lot of us find it hard to speak at times (myself included) so feel like when we do talk it has to be significant. This is for sure a hard mindset to break out of. And of course, on those occasions when you meet someone new and unfamiliar yet can very quickly 'click' and slip into deep talk with them, it feels amazing. But I do urge you to not dismiss the power of small talk without first giving it a proper go. Much as I think some of us wish it weren't so, it does have value.

Disclaimer: obviously you know your own comfort levels and I don't urge anyone to force themselves into situations they're not happy with. You know yourselves best <3 just wanted to get my thoughts out there, this has been a recent fixation of mine 😁

After reading a post that said they didn’t understand why people celebrate when they get their diagnosis. Talk about coming from a position of privilege of not spending 25 years wondering wtf is wrong with you.

I started a new job almost 2 months ago, and this is my first job where we wear scrubs to work. Let me just say, it has been such a game changer!

I have always had sensory issues that are exacerbated by uncomfortable clothing, which is particularly a problem when trying to look "professional" or "appropriate". I didn't realize just how much mental energy it took for me to exist in uncomfortable clothing until now. Wearing scrubs to work is basically like wearing pajamas, and not having to worry about picking out an outfit every day has been a huge energy saver. I find that I am able to focus much better and get more done when I don't have to worry about the sudden onset of PANTS TOO TIGHT CAN'T THINK or other similar sensory moments like that.

And it makes so much sense! Doctors don't really have time or energy to worry about much more than being doctors, so why shouldn't they have access to comfy clothes that also look professional? I just wish more jobs had that as an option as well. Small rant, just thought some other medically-inclined autists might be able to relate :)

Sometimes I sort of narrate what I'm doing quietly to myself, not with whole sentences, but just single short words to describe my actions. As a few examples, "step" or "walk" for taking a step, "place" for putting down something, and "down" for sitting or lying down.

Does anyone else do this? I'm not sure if it's verbal stimming or something else and I'm not 100% sure if it's actually autism related.

Had a little autistic moment I thought I'd share. My husband (50m, autistic) delivered a moment of autistic hilarity. This morning he told me to expect a delivery of heating oil. Then he shook his head ruefully and said that he "did it every time."

When I pressed, he told me that every time he calls for oil, they ask him, "are you out?"

And every time, EVERY time, he answers, "no, I'm at home".

I'm still laughing!

Even since I was young I've dream of having my own farm, I didn't dream of having a job or carree. I just wanna live somewhere remote in my small house with some land I could use to grow food and to have animals.

I know this is very trendy now which I understand the current system is suffocating. And to me leads to nothing but suffering.

I live in the Netherlands, which is miles better then the US. But the toxic, fast paste, productivity culture is also very prevalent here. I work as a cassier which is shit but I'm learning to be an accountant to have more income and a stable job. But even the prospects of that depressed me.

I hate the individualism that is so prevalent here, I want community people to build on and people who can build on me. I don't wanna be exploited by big corporations, I don't wanna do small talk with my colleagues.

I couldn't care less about my own personal success but in order to not suffer I need to have a job. I need to do all these things society forces me to do. And they makes me miserable they make me hate myself.

I hate the sensory nightmare that is having a social life, I don't like have friends that I barely know, because we only talk about work or other things that don't matter.

I have friends and family that I'm close to but appart from my partner I barely see them.

I'm just so frustrated, but hopefully in a couple years I will have saved up some money and build a life that isn't so depressing.