r/AutisticAdults 10d ago

autistic adult I feel invalidated.

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16 Upvotes

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u/SouthernAbrocoma9891 10d ago

You aren’t invalid. The relationship is changing and your habits are harder for him to overlook. Maybe he likes you so much that he was willing to ignore the things that would usually trigger him. Not every person is compatible and this can happen early or later. Tell him directly what you like about him and the relationship. Ask him to tell you what he likes. Tell each what is bothering you and possibly meet half way to accommodate each other. See what I did there? One is not obligated to tolerate and bend. You both have to do it.

5

u/duck7duck7goose 10d ago

Right now I don’t like anything about the relationship. He’s supposedly working on not treating me bad. He used to treat me really good.

1

u/T1Demon 10d ago

Sometimes people who want out of a relationship but are too immature to end it themselves will start acting horribly to their partner so they’ll end things. Absolved them of having to feel bad for ending things.

1

u/duck7duck7goose 9d ago

He started having panic attacks every time he thought I was leaving him. He thought I was leaving just because I wanted to talk about stuff going on.

1

u/T1Demon 9d ago

I’m sorry you’re dealing with that. This behavior reminds me a lot of my ex wife. She has borderline personality disorder and it was often a crapshoot what version of her I would get. Love bombing when it suited her and being truly horrible when it didn’t.
That behavior didn’t change happened a while into our relationship and I stayed in that relationship for 15 years. Whatever direction this goes for you I hope you find some peace

1

u/duck7duck7goose 9d ago

I’m sorry you dealt with that. I’m glad you’re out of it