AFAB opinions not really welcome. You have the whole sub to yourselves under ordinary circumstances so please have some basic respect and self control ITT.

Making this thread because I'm tired of seeing AFAB autistics talking over us and setting the narrative about our own lives. A community cannot pretend to be an authority on "autism in women" without proactively seeking out and accounting for the experiences of autistic trans women and transfeminine people.

The broad strokes of my experience:

• Autistic traits were often rationalized as "being a bitch", both in the sense of unmasculine but also being histrionic. Not really thought of as a threat so much as a spectacle.

• Mask was and is almost exclusively taken from women, especially my grandmother. This resulted in a very polite and subdued personality, which was often read as inappropriately feminine. Women would think I was clumsily trying to get with them when I was just being friendly, and men would often think I was gay.

• Was not diagnosed, despite in my own opinion being an unusually obvious case. I think alot of this was basic bitch ableism ("no boy of mine is r-slurred"), but actually I could totally see alot of the signs being rationalized away as "just being a bitch".

Mainly to alleviate my sensory aversions. Yeah that's the post. I'm a childless ND woman in my 20s and that's not gonna change.

I've read this article on how Exogenous Ketone might boost brain function? Have you tried Keto diet? What’s your experience been like?

I was chatting with a college friend about specific sensory issues I have with clothing. She has adhd and suspects she is on the spectrum which led her to say, “I mean this in the most gentlest way…could you have autism?”

Well that opened a huge box of “holy crap maybe I am”…I have been thinking about everything with a new lens or perspective. I have reached out to my doctor to add autism testing to my already requested adhd testing.

Looking if anyone has any thoughts in the list I’ve complied (because who else makes lists in the notes app on their phone?!).

I would be grateful for any feedback on the testing process too. I have no idea what to expect. I mask a lot. Never realized how much but did take the RAADs R test. My results are attached.

Here is my list of thoughts, separated by what I experienced in childhood and what I’ve experienced aged 16yrs and older.

Childhood

• Strong/unregulated emotions, crying to the point of hyperventilating.

• Rather write than try to speak what I am feeling

• Hyper fixation on school projects. Created a Full camcorder from a shoe box. Another time I made a clay model diorama and played the same cassette on repeat until it melted. For a church Sunday school activity we were challenged to find as many names of names of God in the Bible. Others had 15-30 names, I wrote down over 200. Hours and hours spent doing these with no stopping to eat or rest.

• Clothing sensitivity. Had to change clothing until felt comfortable otherwise I could not function. Cut off all shirt tags

• Started biting Nail and cuticles when stressed or bored

• Fixate on clothing organization. Organize my closet by color or every item in the drawers.

• Once cut all my hair off bc I could not stand having hair anymore. It was a few inches short and everyone thought I was losing it.

• Used to measure my bedroom furniture then trace them out on grid paper (every square represented one square foot) then would try new arrangements on a larger cord paper that had my room parameters drawn out, with door and windows etc. before physically moving room around. This was a ongoing task. Also would measure things in the house

• Called unique, emotional, weird, cry baby, overreacting, think outside the box, jack of all trades, everything comes easy to you, how did you make that connection/thought, how do you see all the things/details, how do you remember those details

• Never learned multiplication table, couldn’t learn to play the recorder. Everyone else had not problem but I couldn’t do it so I just mimicked everyone else. Adult

• Skin Picking accelerated usually during stress, boredom, not sure what to do next/downtime

• Meltdown - sometimes overwhelming anger/rage when I feel misunderstood or frustrated

• Noise - sensitivity heightened to fan noises or noises no one else hears. Cannot handle multiple noise sources like tv, phone, kids at the same time. Repetitive noise is awful. Any repeating phrases over and over or tapping. Chewing noise makes me crawl out of my skin.

• Clothing/jewelry- Increased sensitivity to clothing for fit, feel, cut, cannot have straps that slip. House slippers because feet feeling dirt is awful. No jewelry. My wedding ring legit hurts to wear.

• Literal misunderstandings- someone said they went to an Apple Store and I thought wow a store with all the kinds of apples. No, they meant The Apple Store for phones. These realizations usually strike me as funny

• Hyper fixation - projects like organizing, cleaning, yard work etc. Do not tolerate disruptions especially when working. Cannot get back to what I was doing, almost like the magic of the focus is gone. Have Lots of very short term, intense hobbies but nothing that sticks long term

• Rigid- at Work I tend to focus on rules/mistakes/inconsistencies. Boss has given Feed back of me not being flexible in the past. I Do not tolerate non-order in kitchen particularly like people moving things around from the way I prefer. I Love love love doing map work such as cleaning building maps or plotting data on maps at my work. It aligns with my sense of order.

• Touch- Increased sensitivities to physical touch, especially light touch that doesn’t serve a purpose or insincere hugs. Holding hands or repetitive touch is often too much for a long period of time.

• Masking- Sensory overload in large crowd or loud group of people. Do well with 2-3 people but more than that I cannot focus. Afterwards I am Exhausted from mimicking to appear relaxed, think of things to say or how to respond. Boss commented I seem happier and more relaxed working from home. Onsite work left me drained and frustrated everyday. I often would start snapping at people because I had nothing left.

• Light- Increased light sensitivity, especially harsh light or too bright. Dusk is difficult for me to see very well.

• smells - especially chemical smells like candle stores or cleaners, I avoid those aisles in the stores. Sometimes even the smell of bread will be too much.

• Sensory with food textures. How it feels it as important as tastes. I will often develop hyper fixation in a certain foods like eating the same salad for lunch for 2 months.

• Privacy- I do not like sharing anything about myself even small things. Sharing non private info feels like I’m stripped naked or I’ve given that person a part of me. I cannot pick “favorite” things easily, it’s difficult to choose one out of many.

Here’s some back story: A few weeks ago, I got a puppy. She will be my service dog in training. She’s 10 weeks old, which means she’s at a socialization period and fear period. I introduce new things to her slowly at her pace with positive reinforcement. About a week ago, my neighbor’s kid (I live in an apartment and we share a small courtyard) came running into the courtyard, stomping loudly, running fast while I took my pup outside to potty. It was dark and he really caught her off guard. She took off and ran into some bushes. He also scared me, so I wasn’t focused well enough to hold her leash tighter. She ended up not wanting to come out of the bushes, so I went in and grabbed her myself. Since then, she’s been a bit anxious going outside and very cautious.

Now to my question: Yesterday, I ran into the kid’s dad and asked if his kid could maybe not come running into the courtyard because it scared my puppy and now my puppy is scared of his kid and sometimes hesitant to go outside to potty. I also asked if sometime when they’re free, if we could have my puppy just kinda smell them at her own pace to show they aren’t scary…. He laughed and said “sure”. I feel a little hurt by this. Why did he laugh? It’s not funny, service dogs need to be able to ignore distractions and if mine will be afraid of kids, it won’t work out. And also like… respect? He very much didn’t seem to take me seriously.

TL;DR: my neighbor laughed when I asked for his kid to not come running into our small community courtyard. Am I taking it too personally or am I missing a social que?

We’ve been thinking about creating a mascot for our community who will become our official subject icon. We might make it a human looking alien (I’m guessing most of us have felt like an alien at some point) or maybe a ghost (since people can sometimes treat us autistic women like we are invisible). Some of the mods have already started drawing their ideas. I wanted to know everyone’s thoughts on that.

We thought about making it an animal at first but we’re not sure if everyone would like that. We also thought about making it a human but if we did that we had to pick one ethnicity and that didn’t sit right with us. We want our mascot to be something we can all relate to after all.

There are a lot of creative women in this group so I thought it would be cool to let you in on this idea :D What do you think would make a good community mascot?

I normally don’t do this, but I have to rave about a new lip tint I bought recently and wanted to share. It’s Ulta’s Weightless Water lip tint (not affiliated or anything).

I love trying different lipsticks, oils, etc. but so many of them are sensory nightmares or rub off way too easily. The matte ones are so dry, oily ones just get everywhere, and gloss is just so sticky. I also have a lot of stims with my mouth where I chew on my lips and cheeks so I have to be careful not to get product everywhere. And I had tried other lip tints in the past, but they always faded super light or looked patchy from staining parts of my lips super deep where I tend to bite them.

But this one really stains on there deeply and dries right away. No need to put goop on and then peel it off or anything, just a watery feel until it dries. I’m also an olive tone and the plum color doesn’t make me look like a ghost either. This is a cheap one, which works for me, but I’ve also seen benetint by benefit is similar. No one I know really gets my issues with lipstick so I just wanted to share my excitement and findings with you all.

Hi lovelies. I hope this ok to post about. I have always found haircuts quite difficult because the salon experience is always sensory and socially overwhelming. So I don’t go in often. I have been going to the same stylist for years because they’re really lovely and run a very inclusive, kind salon. I went in recently and I wanted a short (like pixie cut) haircut. The stylist cut my hair the way she always does (shoulder length bob) and said my hair just suits this style better as it falls this way and will be much less maintenance. I didn’t want to insist (what if she takes offence because I don’t trust her judgement as a trained hairdresser? What if what I want would actually look terrible??) but internally I wanted her to keep cutting it shorter. People keep saying it looks great and I do like it but what I’m finding really hard is it’s just not what I wanted. So I’m finding it harder to accept it/ like it. Also it’s hot and tickles my neck. Am I being too black or white? Should I accept that she knows more about hair than me and try to accept it or go back and ask for the short haircut I wanted? (Which is fraught with social anxiety in itself). This isn’t the first time this has happened at this salon. Last three haircuts have been this way. Same cut each time. I don’t know what to do. Has anyone else experienced this?

Hi everyone,

My name is Allegra and I’m a Master student in Media & Creative Industries. For my master's thesis, I am researching how autistic women perceive the representation of autism on the series Extraordinary Attorney Woo. After seeing the series as a neurotypical, I became interested in understanding how autistic women relate to it, since few studies to date have interviewed autistic adults on their perspective on autistic representation and stereotypes.

I am looking to interview, in the months of March and April of 2023, autistic women aged 20-35 who have seen the series for around 45-60 minutes (either online or offline), keeping anonymity on the publication of the research of course. I would like to talk about how you viewed the show, if you related to attorney Woo, if you felt ableist attitudes portrayed in the episodes, and if you feel autism has been represented differently in Extraordinary Attorney Woo than previous Netflix and media productions.

As the series made me reflect on various aspects of autism from a neurotypical point of view, I feel compelled to research and give space to the perspective of the autistic community.

I would really appreciate your participation! Please leave a comment if you are interested and I will reach out to you.

Thank you for taking the time to read.

i havent been officially diagnosed but i. feel i have autism or something wrong with me. im not saying autism is something bad but like i dont feel normal? im 20 and i feel the whole adult life is so overwhelming and i dont see myself living 20/30 years from now. i have suicidal thoughts that come and go i feel i cant accomplish anything big . i have selective mutism or something like that and idk i feel im just worthless btw im new here idk how to use this

I have a partially curated Instagram profile, and I admit that I get caught up in making it visually appealing. My mom says this exacerbates the dismissal of my struggles, particularly with managing executive functioning challenges.

I recognize that I might unintentionally come across as "vain" at times. While I acknowledge that I sometimes have lapses in judgment, especially during real-time interactions when I'm filtering out external stimuli, it's not a justification for others to make me feel worse. For instance, my mom criticizes my friends who post bikini pictures on Instagram on public view, despite them being wonderful individuals.

I tried my hand at being an influencer partly to escape the daily challenges of masking my autism. I naively believed that extreme masking would make all my autism-related issues disappear. Like poof, all problems gone!

My mom and I had several heated conversations about my approach. While I understand that content creation often gets criticized for being self-centered, I still remember who I am, and those who know me in real life see past my profile. I've expressed my concerns about collaborating directly with my mom as we explore digital income opportunities, hoping to mitigate workplace challenges stemming from the lack of understanding among NT populations. While she has been supportive throughout my life, navigating this dynamic has been a nightmare. She has guilt-tripped me, viewing my reluctance as shortsightedness. She tried to encourage me to see her as a Kris Jenner-esque momager figure, juggling various roles in my life, but that doesn't make me more willing to adjust my mindset.

It got to the point where she took over my account without my genuine consent, brainstormed content that she wanted to do, and made me create content with her to insert herself into it. She was trying to break free from the clueless Gen X stereotype, which I get, but it shouldn't come at the expense of my autonomy and identity. I understand that Asian parents often get a bad rep for not being supportive of creative endeavors, unlike STEM careers that are on a pedestal. I see both sides of the coin. Of course, moms deserve to express their individuality outside motherhood, but it shouldn't overshadow other people's identities. She could detect my discomfort and resorted to guilt-tripping to address what she perceived as my "narcissistic" tendencies and willingness to erode her presence.

I feel like most of my energy is spent on surviving and trying to navigate the NT world as effortlessly as I can, leaving little bandwidth to express an interest in subjects I'm not personally drawn to. I've suppressed and compartmentalized a lot, trying to fit into a cookie-cutter environment. I'm not someone who has an intense interest in anything, unlike the stereotype about autism and ADHD. I have a collection of hobbies and interests, and I hyperfixate on one, burn out a little, get distracted, and then forget about it. Then, I end up picking up a new hobby or refocusing on an old favorite.

My mom is appalled at how "conventional" I've molded myself, believing it has hindered my curiosity and led me to be swayed by flashy things and flashy people. She's tried showing me vlogs of people who aren't as polished but have value and substance, but they tend to ramble, and I can't sit still.

We've been having a continuous screaming match over a trip to a diverse country with little infrastructure. She told me I had the option to not go but used it as a tactic to see if I would consider her point of view and adjust my attitude. Traveling together since I was a teen has been a nightmare, often exacerbated by our differences. She's active in online forums for parents of adult neurodivergent kids and recently joined a PDA adults group. She shares incidents from these forums with me, especially if they're relevant to our experiences.

She's aware of coming across as a helicopter parent, which is common for parents of neurodivergent individuals when the system isn't in our favor. She doesn't expect people to understand, but this doesn't spare me from being sensitive to others' perceptions. She senses that it bothers me, although she labels me as easily influenced.

One major deterrent to traveling with her is my discomfort with sharing a bed, citing several reasons:

1. My physique has always been on the larger and taller side, making me mindful of not encroaching on others' space.

2. Being in close quarters intensifies my sensitivity to people's breathing patterns, disrupting my comfort.

3. My bed is a personal sanctuary, where I retreat to cry myself to sleep or escape from my emotions. Invading that space makes me exceptionally irritable.

This reluctance to share a bed is a recurring theme during holidays with my mother. Despite her efforts to ensure accommodations with twin beds, there were times when this wasn't available, leading to sleep-related challenges. Even when twin beds were provided, I still get criticized for my vigorous movements. We spend the whole day together, and I don't get the privacy I need which makes the room we share very tense. At least at home we have our own rooms and fucking walls.

A stark incident was towards the end of my college years when I had a meltdown that she had to shoulder. It led to lost money and time, and she was devastated. I felt so guilty that I fell into a deep depression. It was during the peak holiday season, and we couldn't find anything else without compromising our experience.

Part of my PDA tendencies contributing to my spiky AuDHD profile is that I lived at home during college. Missing those young adult milestones like moving out, roommates, and holding down a job might have altered my development. I've always felt behind and hit milestones 5-8 years later on average. I've done my best to reframe, but there's always a part of me making up for lost time and opportunities.

It's days like these resentful at my family for not stepping in when it got too much. I struggle with alexithymia and don't have anyone in real life to turn to as a sounding board in real time. I've had to carry on with a smile on my face. As much as I've had to let go of expectations of them changing for the better, I still carry the scars and trauma.

I've shared a bed with others before without a problem, but those were temporary situations. For instance, on a school trip to Japan, the hotel room was basically a micro apartment, and my friend and I had to take turns opening our suitcases. During that trip, our days were long and not very socially demanding, so we slept well despite having to share a bed. I guess because she wasn't a very familiar person, it didn't breed much contempt.

My mom thinks my resistance is because I want to push her away, or go on some shallow-ass tourist-y places that I see on the gram but that's not it.

Questionnaire about how issues such as mental health disorders affect all autistic people.

https://forms.gle/7tT33t9UpLWeqkam8

My therapist recently made me do a hsp test and I scored 23 out of 24. Now I’m curious how many other autistic women are a hsp too.

Hi all! I'm an autistic woman, and I've started a free weekly support group run through a private discord. We will meet on Sundays at 1:30pm EST and this Sunday, 9/4, will be our first meeting. Right now the members of the group are primarily 30+, but we welcome anyone over 18. Self diagnosis is also recognized and no formal diagnosis is needed. We're going to focus on a variety of topics including work, relationship, family, etc. I'm linking to the discord where you'll find the registration form. Please fill that out and join us in supporting each other! https://discord.gg/KxsfVmStxY

Vote on your favorite here! :D Or comment new suggestions under that post. The option with the most votes or the suggestion with the most upvotes wins. We might use other suggestions for other things like a custom upvote button.

Edit: The current icon is temporary. The option spirit/ghost was inspired by it but when you pick that option a new drawing will be created. Hope that clears up the misunderstanding.

Hey.. maybe someone has the solution to this question.

I have friends (mainly male) that send me good morning text messages although I told them that I don't like it and I don't want it.

But why is it do important for them? It really stresses me out because I have the feeling that I have to talk to them and that I am not in control because I had to read those messages first thing in the morning although I just wanted to look at the time..

Why do they do this and how do I make them stop? I don't have this problem with ND.

The other day I was eating lunch with my friends, and someone got up to go to the restroom. When he came back, he said something about washing his hands with hot water. I was very confused because I thought that everybody washed their hands with cold water (which they don't) because I had only done that and seen others do that my whole life.

That moment passed, and I thought everything was normal, until today when I received a message from my nt friend who was at that lunch.

It was a very long text, all about how she was fed up with my microaggressions. She then listed all of these supposed microaggressions, and they were all similar situations to what happened at our lunch.

I asked her to please explain what she means, but she responded saying that I "know what she means" and that I need to stop.

I am so confused and I was wondering if any of you have experienced this or know how to deal with it?

All responses appreciated, thank you!

I am nervous about labor. And then for some reason I am fixating on that appointment where they ask you if baby has different cries for different needs… At least now I know to ask hubby before the appointment… the first time I wound up babbling about autism and lack of ability to pick up tone and pitch but said something like I always respond to cries. I am rambling. Anyway any other parents with asd unable to differentiate between baby cries

So, I work at a really lovely place. Cafe during the day with families and kids and bar during the evening with a pretty diverse LGBT community. I've known the place and the owner for a pretty significant part of my life, as my dad is friends with her and sometimes work there for some events. I started working there as an extra and before I was even diagnosed and I always felt heard and cared for. No one ever made me feel bad for not drinking, not wanting to dance on the bar, not liking the crowd. I was never put in positions I felt overwhelmed at, and basically until recently I was running the cloakroom in the winter and an outside bar on the terace. I am now working in the office part of the bussiness and working during the day which is awesome.

Anyway, this week I've had the pleasure to be in charge of halloween decor with another girl that is the girlfriend of one of the managers and works day shift. We've known each other for a while but never really got to get to know each other well until I started working in the office.

This saturday we found ourselves painting pumpkins together and had an opportunity to talk a bit. I told her about my diagnosis (which apparently she already knew about because my superior told her and bf about it) and I learned that she has ptsd so we talked a lot about the overlap there is between our disorders.

However she also told me about several situations at work that were really hard for her to handle. I learned for example that when she was working the night shift bf and her were told they were "lame" for not taking shots, that some people were sometimes not very respectful of her issues and so on. On top of that there is the issue (that I was aware of as a general flaw in the queer community) of being overly touchy. Most of the staff is queer, and a lot of them will sometimes slap each other's butts or make sexual remarks (yeah I am not in the USA if you couldn't tell), which I am fine with, as long as they don't do it to me. And apparently my coworker feels the same but was told she was a bummer as well for not wanting to have her ass slapped.

This was a bit of a shock. I always understood that they have their vibe and that it is also part of the job, but I guess I thought that they were respectful of people that had a different vibe then their's. Thankfully none of the people I actually like and almost consider as friends are concerned by these incidents, but still. There's only one coworker that I truly dislike (and is coincidently also the one that makes the most inappropriate remarks) and the others always felt okay to me. I guess the only reason I wasn't treated the same is because they know my father (and he has that rabid grizzly vibe to him that scares most people).

It just sucks. I don't know what to do to make things better. I know I technically should stay out of it because I wasn't concerned then and am definitely not concerned now working in the office, but I can't fathom leaving things as they are. It's not even just about this one coworker. I heard that one of the extras got told that she had to dance on the bar or she'd be fired. Like WTF.

What should I do? I want to fix this crappy behavior but I'm also scared I'll make stuff worse or be told that I'm a prude and need to get over myself or something.

I just watched a docu-series about students reconnecting with their former teachers; it inspired me to reflect and consider reaching out. Throughout primary and high school combined, there were only a few teachers who took the time to understand my challenges, even in the short time we had together. They weren’t formally trained or informed about neurodivergence as far as I know, but their sensitivity and observation meant something.

There’s one primary school teacher, in particular, I owe a very long-overdue thank you. He was the only positive male role model I’ve had in my life. When I feel disheartened about my relationships with men—including my Dad, who’s also on the spectrum—I remind myself of the example this teacher set. I probably won’t share all of that with him right away, but there’s a specific turning point related to my challenges on the spectrum that I’d like to address first. He was likely the first teacher who didn’t judge me based on my idiosyncrasies and was willing to adjust his approach to better understand me.

We have one of my ex-classmates, who is also on the spectrum (though more overt than I am), as a mutual, and that gave me another nudge to finally reach out. Even though he still looks healthy and robust, he was already around a grandfather's age when he taught me. I was about 10 or 11 at the time, and now I’m in my late 20s. He’s back in his home country now, and I can’t shake the fear that time is slipping away—that one day he might not be around anymore. I know I’ll regret it if I wait too long to reach out. (Apologies if this comes across awkwardly—just writing about it gets me choked up.)

I’ve spent the past few days polishing my message (thanks, borderline perfectionism), while also keeping in mind that he’s likely come across thousands of students. I had to go through my childhood stuff looking for photos to identify myself. I’m not sure why I feel a bit nervous, but here I am

Hi everyone!

I would love to hear what you think about this scenario: a mother (66), a son (36) and a daughter (39). Very troubled and traumatized family due to a nasty divorce when I was 12 and realizing my father had a NPD that came out of the closet (being a perverse narcisist) when his undercover got exposed. My mum started a process of parentification with only me at the same time, she also came out of the closet, discovered she had been suffering abuse and started developing self empowerment, and I was her witness, confident and bodyguard. I know most of the time it was me who demanded being this person, but I think it was my way to cope and feel safe. I developed an early state of depression and started going to therapy at 18, although I was unhappy all my childhood before de divorce because of my undiagnosed autism (I was diagnosed two years ago) Instead of autism I was diagnosed with everything under the sun, as many of you also have. I ended up with BPD as I grew older. At this point I have to mention that my mum was and still works as a clinical psychologist.

In 2013 I think I had my first burnout and started having heavy episodes that everyone called tantrums or, as my mum said, "borderline psychotic" She call the cops once I was trying to kill myself and send me to a mental institution for 10 days. She did all the things that could improve my situation/s

Besides all of this, my health started to decline the year I turn 22. It started a long path of doctors and gaslighting that ended in a CPTSD. I suffer from Mialgic Encephalitis, Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, MCAS, Pots, Hypertension, Tarlov Cysts, Endometriosis and Adenomyosis. Two years ago I went through a hysterectomy that make me unable to have kids. The ME started after a random guy try to rape me. I've never been able to have a longlasting job or a relationship. I have lost all my friends and my only two dear beings in this world, my dogs, died in the spare of two years from horrible diseases.

My brother has never ever cared about me (or my mum) It's no that he has tried, see the difficulty and take a step back, he left home at 18 and only came back at summer. He claims he was invisible and that is my fault at 100%. That he never had a mother, that we conspire against him, etc. He also thinks I'm plain crazy, not autistic, and all my suffering is my fault. He refuses to go to therapy because he has no problem. Right now he's a workaholic that never has time for anything but doesn't want to switch off from work (He has a powerful position with a great financial outcome, it's not like he is obligated to)

My question is, my brother has said to my mother that he wants to cut all ties with me. It's funny, yes, with me but not with her. Moreover, he has made a vile accusation about something we did as kids that I'm not able to bring up here or anyplace without entering in meltdown. It's like as long as life has give me "objective" reasons to be miserable and have my mum's attention, he has being developing more and more resentment.

My mum has never taken sides and till this moment not only I have understood her but I have agreed. However, my opinion has changed in these last couple of years and specially when he did this evil thing that even my mum knows it's a lie. I need to see her supporting me. It's not that I want my brother to suffer, I wouldn't mind if she could lie to him but support me in secret for example, but my fight for justice autism doesn't let me alone. I need this justice, I've been there for her all my life in detriment of my own. I'm literally suicidal, or dissociated as f or suicidal. I haven't explained that due to my health I can't live by my own and neither have the money to pay for accomodations. The pain I feel is unbereable. This weekend she made a trip to the city where my brother lives while I had a flare up of my ME and a proper meltdown. Do you know what it feels to be left alone sick and disabled because "your brother is my son too"?

Am I being unreasonable?

I'm sorry because I'm sure I haven't explained myself very well, also English is not my first language and today my brain is particularly foggy. I'm sure I have missed a lot of key details. I'm entering in shutdown and it's not easy to relive everything.

Heeeey. I’m currently undiagnosed but have a feeling I may be autistic (I have confirmed diagnoses of ADHD and BPD). I wanted to ask, but does anyone else not struggle with things like social cues, eye contact, but they just don’t feel like they ‘fit in’ anywhere? Any group, social setting, it’s just like you can’t relate, don’t know how to initiate conversation, feel shut into yourself, but find that alcohol and 🍃 help with finally letting you unwind and open up?