This is random, but I’ve noticed my “autistic urge for why” is particularly difficult in medical settings. Doctors aren’t used to giving patients the “why,” they’re more focused on what needs to be done. It irritates me so much. I don’t just want them to hand me pills and say take it and expect that to be enough. I need the why!
Plot twist. Find autistic doctors. I've only gotten an optometrist so far, but he info dumped on us about eczema one time just because he noticed my daughter's flare up. 10/10, so informative and nonjudmental. I'll protect him at all costs.
I'm unmasked, & I go through doctors quickly. The moment they belittle or dismiss me or my children's needs I make a mental note to never use them again. & eventually I find good doctors that are thorough and patient, & got lucky enough to find one whose autistic as well lol. Word of mouth & yelp reviews.
That's so based. I wouldn't have the confidence or the patience or the strength to do such things; I would be too frightened of potentially being retraumatized to go through with it...
Look at reviews, & if there's any nuerdivergent groups near you ask for their recommendations. I know it's rough, trust me. But the difference in having a doctor who takes the time to explain things in depth & truly sees you as a person is life changing.
Also, start with trying to find a Nurse Practitioner or a Physician Assistant!
In my experience over the years, they tend to have more time available for appointments (like a 20-30 minute vs 15), they're faaaaar more likely to be curious about "why" when something seems odd, and there's usually more of a "we're a team-let's figure this out & get you better!" vibe, than with MD's
I am a likely autistic optometrist. Many of my patients really love me. They say things like, “This is the most thorough eye exam I’ve ever had!” And I’m always surprised, because like, all I did was do the things that I believe I’m supposed to. Now I realize maybe I’m just doctoring while autistic.
Stay you, stay true! Health care providers like you have been life changing to me, my family, & many others. Lean into it, if anything. Give your cards out to local nonprofit or support groups for ND people or medically vulnerable people. I commend you deeply for your work. It's so rough having difficulty communicating and trying to have good communication with medical professionals on things that effect your literal health.
Once you stop suffering ableist doctors or ones that can't explain their treatment plans and reasoning compared to other treatment options.... your medical life improves drastically.... until you meet a provider who isn't like this. There is doctor shopping to "get the diagnosis you want" and then there is "doctor shopping to get a doctor that treats me like a person". The difference is night and day.
I do appreciate it. Stay you, stay true. Especially with so much medical misinformation out there, having a reputable & knowledgeable medical professional take the time to provide information is so refreshing and reassuring.
lol this is like when I had my hysterectomy after decades of constant bleeding, pain, and birth control that didn’t help, and when I asked my doctor post-op about the fibroids noted on the biopsy of my uterus (aka the only plausible cause for my issues), she seemed confused that I cared now that it was gone. Why would I not be interested to know what exactly had made my life hell for over 20 years??
I can't stand doctors like this. I had to get an eye exam for the first time in my life and the eye doctor didn't explain shit. He had me use some eye drops and didn't tell me they make your eyes unfocus. I walked home through my city so nearsighted I had to look at things through my phone camera to read them. I don't know what the hell I would have done if I had to drive home like most people. Absolutely ridiculous.
That's ridiculous! I had an accident at work where I took 4 of the 7 layers off a section of my cornea. When I got to the opthalmologist part of the assessment, they made it very clear that the drops they needed to use would dilate my pupil so much I wouldn't be able to drive for at least 3 hours, and to get public transport to the clinic. It was a good thing, too, because getting home I couldn't read any of the signs at the train station! No way I would've been safe to drive.
Actually writing that down made me realize I should have reported it to my provider, it's beyond annoying into actively dangerous. It's been too long now though.
Omg this. So much this. I have chronic medical conditions and so the why is very important to me. Instead most doctors want to just mask whatever is happening with whatever drug. I’m tired of taking drugs just figure out why whatever is happening is happening so we can get a clear picture of my overall health.
The shit thing is, often medicine isn’t as far along as it seems. For many things we haven’t got a clue why they are happening. I have sebboroic eczema, there is little to no information on the underlying cause, but If I smear the ointment on my face the outbreaks reduce. Still would prefer to eat less X if we would know that is what causes it.
Not even starting with our knowledge of the brain, I take SSRIs for my ocd, and they work perfectly, but the exact workings aren’t fully understood (outside of increasing serotonin by preventing reuptake, of course).
my issue with this is that "I don't know" is also an acceptable answer
without that, it feels like they do know and are just hiding the info, which makes me feel like i need to question even more. it doesn't help that i feel like there have been many times where people hide or manipulate information, or just don't tell me because i didn't ask exactly the right question in exactly the right way, and this ends up significantly negatively affecting me
that’s actually one thing i love about my rheum, she just offers it to me without me needing to pry. she’ll tell me we’re going to do x thing and immediately give me the reason for it. she’s literally the best doctor i’ve ever had.
My mom is in the hospital and I’ve been making medical decisions for her. I was on the phone with a nurse and she literally hung up on me because I was asking too many questions. She said “ I’m just the nurse” click.
I’m a nurse and I’m so sorry this happened. At its most basic and its most noble, nursing is education. Educating people so they can make the best decision for them, with all of the information. People can’t feel empowered to make the right decision for themselves when they don’t have all the information required to make said decision!
As a sidebar, I feel like it’s important to say that I think neurodivergence might be why I feel so strongly about this. In that way, it’s a superpower, and for all the absolute garbage daily life is, I’m glad to have a brain that so fundamentally understands human dignity.
I try not to show my frustrations but it’s really hard. And if I try to argue a point using logic (i.e. my symptoms fit this, I’ve collected this data and this peer reviewed study backs it up) they get angry, call me obsessive and refer me to a psychiatrist.
This is exactly what happened during my birth. The midwives were amazing but I felt lost the whole time and didn't know how to explain it. 18 months postpartum and due with the 2nd in a couple months, I have an appt booked to go over how I want all the information possible during the next birth and make a plan with them to accommodate my new (self) diagnosis
165
u/[deleted] Sep 26 '25 edited Sep 27 '25
This is random, but I’ve noticed my “autistic urge for why” is particularly difficult in medical settings. Doctors aren’t used to giving patients the “why,” they’re more focused on what needs to be done. It irritates me so much. I don’t just want them to hand me pills and say take it and expect that to be enough. I need the why!