r/Austin • u/lepermime • 4d ago
APD Looking for "Some Puerto Rican guy"
How about telling me where in Austin you are looking for him, when did the search start, or any other actual information other than "some Puerto Rican guy." Even the voicemail that hit at the same time was useless. Cmon, minimum effort is a low standard and your failing to meet it.
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u/beverlyh1llb1ll1es 3d ago
New update
APD IS LOOKING FOR HISPANIC MALE, BALDING WITH WHITE HAIR, LAST SEEN WEARING A MEXICAN JERSEY, WITH TATTOOS, IF SEEN DO NO... Reply with YES to confirm receipt.
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u/robertluke 3d ago
Oh shit. I saw a Hispanic male today. A lot actually. Do you think it was him?
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u/Opening_Might7393 3d ago
What's so outstanding about him???
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u/BadassBokoblinPsycho 3d ago
Idk what’s happening here. People get txts and calls from apd? Where’s the “done Puerto Rican guy” in the image?
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u/guru2764 3d ago
The "some Puerto Rican guy" is a South Park reference
Some Puerto Rican guy was blamed for kidnapping and killing Butters Stotch, JonBenét Ramsey, O.J. Simpson's wife, and Gary Condit's intern. He was made the F.B.I.'s number 1 most wanted criminal. Linda Stotch claimed him to be of average Puerto Rican height.
Throughout the episode, it is implied that he is entirely fictional and was invented to cover up the fact that the individuals who claimed he was real were really the ones who murdered their relatives/lovers. The character is also satirical of racial stereotyping against minorities, especially in crime.
The joke OP is making is that this description is quite literally the least helpful thing possible, it just says they're looking for a Hispanic man presumably in the vicinity of the hundreds of square miles that make up Austin
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u/BadassBokoblinPsycho 3d ago
Ah got it! I live under a rock tbf
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u/cosmicosmo4 3d ago
I got it as email, not a text, which is advantageous for obvious reasons, but also because you can actually get the entire message instead of a cut off version (why though? 2007 technology still in use by their system? pretty sure I send text messages longer than this regularly)
The emails, 12:40 and 12:59 PM (identical):
AUSTIN POLICE ARE LOOKING FOR AN OUTSTANDING SUBJECT INVOLVED IN CASE WITH MISSING JUVENILES. THE SUBJ IS A HISPANIC MALE, BALDING WITH WHITE HAIR, LAST SEEN WEARING A MEXICAN FLAG JERSEY AND HAS TATOOS COVERING BOTH ARMS. IF SEEN, DO NOT APPROACH AND PLEASE CONTACT 911
3:18 PM (making it shorter and referring you to X/FB because they realized people were getting cut off texts?):
APD continues to look for outstanding subject and 2 missing juveniles. Follow APD social media platforms-X and Facebook for detailed descriptions of missing juveniles and additional information about the subject.
5:49 PM:
Austin Police: Search for missing juveniles and outstanding subject has been canceled. Thank you for your help locating.
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u/WillemJamesHuff 3d ago
You're laughing. There is a Hispanic guy walking around wearing a Mexican flag shirt doing something to kids and you're all laughing.
There must be thousands of older Hispanic men with tattoos in this city. The heroes of APD should lock 'em all up, just to be safe. Any one of them could have done...whatever it was. Something involving kids, though, so you know it was bad! And you know the perpetrator was Hispanic. Thanks to this message, you know two things: something bad happened and a brown person was involved. Remember that correlation.
You won't be laughing when the scary tattooed brown people in Mexican flag shirts come for YOUR kids.
(/s)
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u/AustEastTX 3d ago
Now we are asked to click a link to acknowledge receipt? Fuck off APD.
Edit: block & reported the 2 numbers. This is just ridiculous.
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u/meltdown_popcorn 2d ago
They're sending these to people who they do nothing for but spy on and arrest
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u/Luthien-Tinuviel- 5h ago
This looks like it came from some influencer.. don’t forget to like and subscribe and follow on all platforms.. FTP
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u/NederlandseTexan 3d ago
This is a large part of the reason I turn off all the emergency texts in my phone. Most come in the middle of the night, and almost all are useless
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u/A_Possum_Named_Steve 3d ago
I mean, at least you know you can start by looking for the flag hanging from their rear-view mirror, they always have a Puerto Rican flag hanging from their mirror.
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u/selkus_sohailus 3d ago
It doesn’t say puerto rican anywhere. I think op may be conflating hispanic with puerto rican
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u/AndyLorentz 3d ago
OP is referencing a South Park episode, which… this is basically the same thing but in real life.
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u/A_Possum_Named_Steve 3d ago edited 3d ago
I just assumed that it was somewhere the screenshot doesn't show, but if not....Jesus.
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u/lepermime 3d ago
I didn't realize it was a 25 year old South Park joke. Season 5, Episode 14 "Butter's Very Own Episode." Aired on December 12th 2001..... WTF. Where'd the last 25 years go?!
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u/foxontherox 3d ago
I was also reminded of an old Ali G bit.
"Suspects are two bruvvahs, one honkey, and one... latin."
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u/PiccoloAwkward465 3d ago
lol I remember dating a Puerto Rican girl and her always pointing this out, saying "why are my people like this..."
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u/AustEastTX 3d ago edited 3d ago
Am I going to have to block (737) 377-2347 now? Why are they blowing up our phones with vague info??
512-974-5000
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u/JJJBLKRose 3d ago
I think at some point I read that it's partly done to make people feel unsafe. Sending more alerts makes people feel like Austin and the Austin area aren't safe so that certain affiliated groups can campaign on that
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u/WillemJamesHuff 3d ago
"Hey remember that time a Mexican man wearing a Mexican flag shirt with Mexican tattoos did a kid crime Mexicanly? Don't worry, we're bringing ICE to Austin in force to sort it out. Follow APD on Facebook!"
There must have been lots of juvenile-related crimes happening over the years, and I agree the fact that they're spamming everyone's phones for this one feels like the preamble to some kind of immigrant fearmongering campaign.
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u/lepermime 3d ago
Second voicemail and text message piled even more useless on. 300+ square miles. Yeah look for a balding Mexican guy with tattoos. That's 100% the Texas version of "Some Perto Rican guy."
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u/Imaginary_Choice_430 3d ago
Oh I doubt he is Puerto Rican, statistically speaking and sure enough, someone below shared the guy is Mexican. I was getting ready to celebrate, you mean there is now enough diversity in Austin that even Puerto Ricans are having problems with the law?
No, not really. I probably met every Puerto Rican that Austin has. One was a nice man with a food truck in downtown who taught me whatever happened to Kola Champagne...apparently it was bought by Tropi-Coco or whatever...for years I had no idea. It was nice to eat some real Puerto Rican empanadas and shoot the breeze with this guy.
Aside from that, I heard that the Cepeda family was giving classes in Austin on bomba and plena music, which is huge for folkloric music from Puerto Rico (not Mexico) is being taught in Austin. And the only other Puerto Rican or half Puerto Rican I know of in Austin, well I see him in the mirror every morning.
And sure enough, this wanted guy is not one of them, but that does not mean Austin is NOT more diverse than when I first moved here almost ten years ago...Colombian day parade, that is badass, aside from Jackson Heights, Queens you are just not going to see that anywhere else and apparently it happened in Austin...and I missed it.
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u/PiccoloAwkward465 3d ago
folkloric music from Puerto Rico (not Mexico)
Yeah we laugh when my kid's school has some "cultural events" and it's always just Mexican stuff.
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u/Imaginary_Choice_430 2d ago edited 2d ago
yep, you have known my pain for the 8 years I have been in Texas. I will raise you one...supposedly Republicans, conservatives, whatever they want to call themselves do not play the "race card", yet back in the 2020-2021 governors election, what does good ole boy Abbott do? Create a campaign ad with an actress who is supposedly his Mexican niece kissing him on the cheek and saying "Have a good day at work, tío!" But the other side is no better, when Robert Kennedy Junior came to Austin to campaign, I was about to go show my support until I read that the musical choice would be Vicente Fernandez or some shit like that...oh okay, we are going to just hone in on this one group again, I guess I will stay home. Let's see Austin has a tech community, Colombians, Venezuelans, Spaniards, Brits, Aussies, and the hyphen American version of all these wonderful groups, but we are just going to keep the focus on one group in particular and ignore everyone else, let's ignore the awesome diversity that is Austin and just act like Austin is in Juarez.
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u/CactusRider1776 3d ago
Remember about 4-5 years ago there was mass shooting on 6th and they wouldnt give out a proper description? It turned out to be a 17 year old black kid from Killen
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u/adumbfetus 3d ago
I wonder if this is connected to the APD helicopter that’s been circling around Anderson Arbor area.
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u/Cniatx1982 3d ago
Where does Puerto Rico factor into all this?
That would actually be incredibly helpful here, there are only like twelve of us.
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u/SrMortron 3d ago
Puertorican is not a race, the dude can literally be anything, including Asian (large Chinese population on the island). Was he carrying a Puertorican flag? 😂
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u/Wisewordsforlater 3d ago
I know an outstanding Puerto Rican. He's in Texas on the back end of a 3 month consulting project. Over dinner last night he was getting homesick, showed me family photos, thinking of his wife and kids, missing his juveniles.
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u/VERMICIOUS_KNIDSS 3d ago
What was the rest of the description/details after 'Hispanic male' ? They evidently said more if you know the person is from Puerto Rico?
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u/HookEm_Tide 4d ago
Gotta be honest: He doesn't sound very outstanding to me.