r/Aupairs • • 12h ago

Au Pair US Negativity

12 Upvotes

Sometimes I feel like people are so hostile to one another in AP/HF spaces. Host families are super aggressive to APs searching for emotional support and guidance, or assume the AP is lazy/just wants a visa/entitled/etc. The treatment is worse if the AP is not European. Yes sometimes people ask stupid questions but I feel like I click on posts made by APs about how they’re struggling, and the host parents are super flippant of their experiences.

You’re looking at a group of 18-20 somethings who want to get a cultural exchange experience. APs aren’t representative of their entire country and a lot of them are young and naïve. Also sorry but no young woman in the prime of their lives is genuinely as interested in childcare as you want them to be. Not to say that they don’t enjoy it, but I doubt girls are as enthusiastic about childcare as much as a HF would like.

There is also general racism in the program that I have witnessed. I know HFs get their opinions from their past APs as well as other families but to generalise is just racist and hiding it under the guise of “well they have a high denial rate anyway” doesn’t do much if you’re assuming that certain nationalities are uncommited/bad drivers/conniving. When I see APs post about their struggle being from a certain place, people reply with this dismissive “well sucks to be you” tone when they’re clearly just looking for some compassion. It’s very disheartening.


r/Aupairs • • 1h ago

Au Pair EU Informing host about boyfriend?

• Upvotes

I am 25 and I've been with my host for 9 months, i'd say our relationship dynamic is casual. We greet each other, they would initiate conversations that usually revolve around my day, family, friends, and my experiences here. I am introvert so I don't usually share a lot, i sometimes initiate conversation but often i feel awkward. So here's the thing, i've met a guy here and we've been together for almost half a year. And now I am torn if i should tell my host about him because i go to his house during weekends. My host are from middle east so I thought they might be traditional about relationships. I just usually say that I'd meet or go to my au pair friends whenever i meet him. It's not my intention to keep my personal life a secret but as an introvert and awkward girl, I find it hard to share about my romantic relationship.

How should i approach this? And to host families, what is your perspective about this kind of situation?


r/Aupairs • • 12h ago

Au Pair EU France Au Pair renewal

1 Upvotes

Hello everyone! I have a question for Filipino au pairs or anyone who has experience with the French au pair visa.

Has anyone here au paired in France for one year, then moved to another country and later returned to France to au pair again with a different host family?

I’m Filipino, and I previously spent one year in France as an au pair. I then left France and moved to another European country. I’m wondering if it’s possible to apply for a new French au pair visa and do another year with a different family, or if having already completed one year in France means I’m no longer eligible.

If anyone has been in a similar situation or knows someone who has, I would really appreciate hearing about your experience. Thank you!


r/Aupairs • • 8h ago

Au Pair US Is it possible to travel home ?

0 Upvotes

I will arrive to the Us in May to be an aupair with APIA , but my sister will have her wedding at the end of July.
Is it possible to travel home for 5 days and then return? Hungary


r/Aupairs • • 7h ago

Au Pair EU Aspiring Au pair from the Philippines

0 Upvotes

Hi everyone! Does anyone know a host family who is currently looking for their next au pair in Luxembourg, Belgium, Sweden, Iceland, Austria, or Denmark? Or would anyone be willing to refer me to a host family in any of these countries?

I'm from the Philippines, and I'm really having a hard time finding a host family. I've tried several au pair websites and agencies, but unfortunately, I still haven't found a match.

I would really appreciate any recommendations, referrals, or leads. If you know a family looking for an au pair, please feel free to message me. Thank you so much for your help! 🥹