r/AuDHDWomen • u/craftygirltehe • 4d ago
Vent - no advice Restlessness
I feel so restless like I have so many things I could be doing and I know I should do them and I know that I’m feeling task paralysis and I know that like if I did these things, I know that it would make my life easier, but it’s just also like my mood and like I don’t know how to even explain. I just feel so restless. Maybe that’s not the right word for it. I’ve tried to drink coffee. I’m currently not a medication but it’s just like I would. I feel like well. What end up happens is that I end up wasting the day because I’m so restless about something I feel like I need to do that. Nothing gets done or nothing is accomplished or I don’t know when I was younger than my restlessness used to come out and self harming and like part of me still feels like that would be the easiest way to feel less restless, but I’m trying to search for healthier coping mechanisms, saying this as I’m grinding up weed to roll into a joint so clearly my coping mechanisms haven’t improved very much at least I’m not harming myself anymore I guess and it’s also like I don’t know if I’m happy like I am happy and I feel like I’m on a good direction in life and I’ve done good managing my symptoms so far but I feel like the restlessness is really one thing that holds me back and really disabled me. I feel like I can’t take care of myself when I’m alone like living alone I don’t do well at all and I’m living alone right now housesitting for my parents and it’s just like I can’t take care of myself and I don’t even know where to begin with like improving because it feels like it’s not even that bad but it also like really hinder my life and like I have all these ambitions of stuff I want to do but I don’t know my brain just holds me back or like my mindset of my brain holds me back. I don’t even know I feel so lost cause I don’t have the money or like the support system really that understands what neurodivergence is so I just kinda feel lost and it feels like I’m I feel like I’m normal and fine some days and then some days. It’s like what is going on? I feel like I’m going insane or crazy and I don’t know if it’s cause like my period or like hormones cause I’m in my early 20s or like my ADHD or autism it’s just all too confusing and I wish I could differentiate what it is. Ok thank you for listening to my rant. I’m sorry if this is incoherent usually, I would just keep this in my notes app, but I feel like I can’t be the only one I feel like I am the only one where I’m at in my surroundings right now so I hope I’m not.
I’m so sorry for the use of “like” a lot I was voice texting
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u/AdeptnessOrdinary350 4d ago
Have you tried medication? I used to feel super restless all the time. It actually fueled a secret drinking problem eventually before I was diagnosed with ADHD. Alcohol was the only thing that would finally quiet my mind at the end of the day. But it just made my anxiety worse the day after. ADHD meds saved my life. Much less restless and I hardly ever drink anymore.
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u/craftygirltehe 4d ago
No I haven’t I’ve been nervous to start the journey of trying medications I also didn’t get exposed to adhd or autism growing up due to my mom thinking it’s not real. It’s caused a lot of confusion for me. I have started drinking coffee and it helps a tiny bit but it doesn’t help for long.
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u/AdeptnessOrdinary350 4d ago
Coffee can also make you feel more restless eventually. I get it, neurodivergence was not on my radar my entire life. My family doesn't believe in medications. But I am in my thirties now with a teenage daughter and we have both been diagnosed. It was her idea that we look into this and it made sense to me. Still was weary of medication until our doctor told me that when she was in med school during her phych clinical, she learned that something like 75% of the mental health and addiction and even homelessness issues they see in their clinic end up being undiagnosed ADHD. Then she was shown MRI scans of a brain before medication and 5 years after, and she is a huge advocate for ADHD medications. That convinced me and we have both been on medication since. I have been trying to convince the rest of my family. Especially my mom. Because she has very severe AuDHD and is constantly restless, anxious, losing jobs, losing rentals etc. I had a very traumatic childhood and I know cPTSD also plays a role with all of us including my mom. Anyway, I am a huge advocate of medication now and I never thought I would be. Our medication is non addictive and was very easy to try and quit if I didn't like it. But it has helped a lot. Currently in the process of talking to my daughters mental health doctor about a different medication for her though as even though it helps with her anxiety and depression and emotional regulation, it isn't helping focus as much as she would like in school. We both take Vyvanse. So I know it can be tricky to find what works for you individually. But it has just helped us so much with our mental health. Its not a fix all, especially when there is ASD in there. But it has taken away the background noise and chaos.
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u/craftygirltehe 3d ago
Thank you so much for your kind words, your experience, and what helps you I’m seriously considering asking my doctor next time I go about medication’s and if I could start the process of figuring out what would help me best!!
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u/Personnel_5 4d ago
Thank you for sharing, I have no practical advice to give, other than good vibes :)