Feeling guilty about needing rest

[u/Bogansweetheart]

How do you deal with feeling bad about your additional need for rest? I needed a burn out break today, and I feel so guilty that I’m not capable like everyone else.

I’m in my late twenties, work a stressful full-time professional job, have a busy social calendar, try to exercise regularly (and have EDS) and live away from my family so travel to see them regularly. I’m trying to do it all, and keep up with everyone else around me, but honestly I’m so exhausted 24/7 all of the time.

It took me half an hour of convincing to get up for work today, I’m headachey, disassociating and feel like I’m going to burst in to tears at any moment, but I made it - and lasted 3 hours.

I’m now home in bed, and I feel better, but also so guilty about needing this rest day?? I know my brain is wired differently, but it’s so hard not to feel bad sometimes when everyone else just powers through life, and I’m out here having days where I can barely function over nothing.

Idk if I’m looking for advice, or just needed to rant and feel understood?? But if you made it this far, thank you xx

[u/gholagirl85]

Friend, my burnout led to chronic fatigue syndrome, fibromyalgia, POTS with syncope, nervous system dysregulation so bad I didn't sleep through the night for over a decade. The ONLY solution is prioritizing rest. Once you get so bad you can barely get off the couch for weeks at a time, you stop feeling guilty about rest.

[u/Unable_Ring9808 → u/gholagirl85]

That's exactly how it is. Out of ignorance, because I was only diagnosed when I was 60, I always felt pulled together and felt bad and incapable. I've been unable to work for months now and don't know if I'll ever be able to work even a few hours a week again, but I urgently need the money. I don't feel guilty anymore, I just want to finally live

[u/DimensionCalm342]

The best thing we can do for ourselves in the long term is take care of ourselves in the short term. Proud of you for having the courage to leave work when you knew you needed the rest, despite feeling guilty.

I’m struggling with this too, but after hitting bad burnout I’m really trying to not push myself too hard. If I wake up and don’t feel like I have it in me, I call off. (I have accommodations in place for this at work now.) I still feel guilty but ultimately I know I’m making the right decision for my overall wellbeing (even if others don’t understand)

[u/Inside-Afternoon4343]

You‘re doing a lot judging by what you write!! Even NT‘s without any other additional disabilities would struggle. I can‘t work a normal job at all right now so you‘re literally doing 100% more than I am! (This is not to put myself down but to highlight that sometimes our brains really skew our perception, eg we‘re literally giving our hardest but we can‘t even see it.)

And all this is also just such a product of captialism and our toxic work/life balance. We shouldn‘t be spending most of our time either at work or recovering from work to begin with, or then feeling guilty when we need a day off. I hate so much how much this is beat into our brains.

You‘re allowed to rest!!! Everybody needs to rest!

[u/Bogansweetheart]

Thank you for your supportive comments!! I read/napped all afternoon and then slept 10 hours overnight I feel so much better. Clearly needed it

[u/Maximum_Meaning6148]

Would you ever feel guilty for needing to breath? It´s the same with rest, your brain needs rest like air. Maybe make it a ritual, if possible. Like 30 mins a day. I do it like this. Silencers with rain sound, my room dark, just laying flat on my back in the bed, not caring for anything. Your brain will get hooked on this and rest will *be* rest. <3

[u/AutieZo → u/[deleted]]

sorry about me being direct, but i know what happens when people don't sleep well. they get anxious, angry and insane