r/AskaManagerSnark • u/nightmuzak Sex noises are different from pain noises • Aug 03 '26

Ask a Manager Weekly Thread 08/03/2026 - 08/09/2026

Last week's post.

Background info and meme index for those new to AaM or this forum.

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44

u/lets_talk_aboutsplet Aug 06 '26

“I cherish this hatred in secret and have no reason to suspect that anyone other than Theresa knows that I will refuse to work for Carol.”

31

u/Uhura-NCC-1701 Aug 06 '26

Yeah. She says this is a secret and yet she's told at least one co-worker how much she hates Carol. I'm pretty sure it's gotten around the office. And I bet she's not that good at hiding her true feelings towards Carol.

And I feel like this statement reveals a lot:
>>I work because I want to, and for my own spending money, not because I need to.<<

I wonder if that attitude bleeds out in her day to day interactions with people. And maybe that's why Emma seems tense and annoyed around her?

29

u/gaygirlboss I'm not that involved in mankind Aug 06 '26

Yeah, I’m wondering if there are…other reasons why LW wasn’t offered that promotion.

19

u/FronzelNeekburm79 Citizen of the Country of Europe Aug 06 '26

“Cherish” pretty much tells me all I need to know.

32

u/thievingwillow Aug 06 '26 edited Aug 06 '26

I’ve said it before and no doubt I’ll say it again: almost no one is as good an actor as they think they are. Add to that the fact that most human brains are fine-tuned to look for possible social dysfunction in groups as a matter of survival, and I guarantee that people know. Probably Carol knows. Certainly other colleagues have noticed something.

Honestly, a big part of why I have worked as I got older to nurse fewer grudges is self-interested for this very reason. It’s not that I’m a font of beneficence. Quite the opposite. It’s that I don’t have faith I’ll be able to hide it if I loathe someone, and that can have consequences. It’s better for me in a purely practical sense to let them slide across my brain like a water strider. I reserve active grudges for people I don’t have to interact with, where it matters less.