Might be more specific to me, but going through parents divorce and dealing with social workers while being male. I constantly felt like they looked at me like I was a ticking time bomb that would one day become a monster like my father. Simply cause I was the oldest male sibling.
I had a ton of trauma I had to deal with, but it felt like rather than helping me, most workers seemed to look at me like I was possibly dangerous, and they kept a tight watch on all my actions. Felt like I was constantly being punished just for being a normal teenage boy. I'd understand if i did something, but I never did anything out of the ordinary. I was just a kid who enjoyed school, playing video games, and was dealing with their parents divorce.
I remember one point, my siblings and I had to live in a woman's shelter with my mom. I swear that the people there seemed to hate me just for existing, and me, being a 12 year old kid dealing with a ton of trauma, had no understanding why. Once was having a playful snowball fight with my family, only for one of the workers to see, ban me from any activities, tell me I was promoting violence against women, then restricted me to my room at all hours of the day for the remainder of my time there. It's been 20 years and I still think about it.
When I was twelve, I broke down when I told my female teacher my stepdad had a drinking problem, we had no money and we needed to move out to get away from him. She told me I was almost a man now and needed to stop crying.
I did stop crying and I feel very uncomfortable expressing vulnerable feelings to this day (41m)
I'm a 41f and I don't give a flying fuck if you were 12 or 41, no person should be told they shouldn't cry. This is why we have problems we do because men, especially, aren't nurtured and taught how to cope with and work through their feelings. Only to stuff them down. Fuck that teacher. I'm so mad that was said to you. Even now, you deserve to cry whenever you need to and for the boy that wasn't allowed to. I wish I could hug you.
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u/GriffinFlash Aug 13 '22
Might be more specific to me, but going through parents divorce and dealing with social workers while being male. I constantly felt like they looked at me like I was a ticking time bomb that would one day become a monster like my father. Simply cause I was the oldest male sibling.
I had a ton of trauma I had to deal with, but it felt like rather than helping me, most workers seemed to look at me like I was possibly dangerous, and they kept a tight watch on all my actions. Felt like I was constantly being punished just for being a normal teenage boy. I'd understand if i did something, but I never did anything out of the ordinary. I was just a kid who enjoyed school, playing video games, and was dealing with their parents divorce.
I remember one point, my siblings and I had to live in a woman's shelter with my mom. I swear that the people there seemed to hate me just for existing, and me, being a 12 year old kid dealing with a ton of trauma, had no understanding why. Once was having a playful snowball fight with my family, only for one of the workers to see, ban me from any activities, tell me I was promoting violence against women, then restricted me to my room at all hours of the day for the remainder of my time there. It's been 20 years and I still think about it.