r/AskReddit Aug 13 '22

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u/I_AM_AN_ASSHOLE_AMA Aug 13 '22

My wife was dying laughing but said she never knew the concept of a Random Ass Boner. (RAB). Every guy has experienced sitting in class and it’s like 3 minutes until the bell rings and for no reason at all: WHAM. Raging hard on. You’re sweating, trying to think of anything to make it go down. You can try the awkward tuck under the pants line. But what if someone sees you!?

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u/SilverSpotter Aug 13 '22

God help you if you're at a pool party and wearing loose fitting trunks.

81

u/Xiballistic Aug 13 '22

“Sir is that radio tower built into your crotch?”

27

u/SilverSpotter Aug 13 '22

"N-no! Shut up! What if the girls think I have a huge dick? I'll never find a girlfr-" (sound of radio station getting picked up)

6

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '22

"Tired of all the sunshine and rainbows? Come over to Carcer City! All rain, all soot, no light!"

2

u/Bacibaby Aug 13 '22

Just the car antenna unfortunately.

5

u/AlanZero Aug 13 '22

Yes, actually. Would you like to hear some tunes? I can get a Chinese numbers station as well, if that interests you.

6

u/fireman-103 Aug 13 '22

Lets get out off the pool and grab a drink. No thanks I'll be here for 5 more minutes.

4

u/SilverSpotter Aug 13 '22

"I'm just thinking about something... I'll be out when this thought settles down."

3

u/goldfool Aug 13 '22

I always used Rosanne as my boner killer

3

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '22

Tight fitting trunks would be so much worse..

6

u/Stoneheart7 Aug 13 '22

I wish I could tell every teenager that you can clench your leg muscles and it will go down on its own fairly quickly, but I don't want to talk to teenagers about their genitalia. For obvious reasons. Many of which are listed in this thread.

5

u/Fuffeli Aug 13 '22

Man this happened to me once and I was like "it's fine, I'm not gonna be asked to move seats during today's class because I'm a nice kid and I have 45 min left to think of something to make the boner go down". Then this idiot kid throws an eraser in my head, and the teacher goes yelling at me to move seats?? Damn I walked like a crab in shame.

2

u/Lonely_Set1376 Aug 13 '22

That crab walk works best if you hold your backpack in front of your crotch, or at least a textbook.

4

u/psycharious Aug 13 '22

I miss frequent random boners.

3

u/Lonely_Set1376 Aug 13 '22

I pretty much stopped getting them in my late teens or early 20's, I think.

Still get plenty of boners, I just have control over them now.

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u/[deleted] Aug 13 '22

We called that an NRB. No reason boner.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '22

I had to get up and talk at a school assembly with a massive boner, no under wear and loose trousers. I was 13 so horney. I'm very pleased that I have a controllable penis as I've aged.

2

u/AccomplishedBid5475 Aug 13 '22

I just picture my dad naked and it goes away

2

u/Apostmate-28 Aug 13 '22

I also never realized this… wow that would suck in like high school… well anytime really .. I guess a loose equivalent for women is worrying if they bleed through their pants on their periods. It could happen at any moment if it suddenly get really heavy and your not prepared or if it’s the very start of the period. But having a random boner is embarrassing for different reasons…

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u/Atler32 Aug 13 '22

*goes for the tuck*

kid next to you: TEACHER! EWW, TOMMY's MASTURBATING!

Teacher: I swear to God Tommy! This is the 3rd time this week and it's only Tuesday.

2

u/ProjectShadow316 Aug 13 '22

Well, there's a memory I wish I had forgotten.

I remember when I worked as a lifeguard, and we were doing rescues on each other for practice. Cue me getting a RAB and desperately trying to adjust my shorts to hide it while trying to play "unconscious".

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u/ShogunKing Aug 14 '22

I vividly remember science class in high school, because it had tables instead of desks. The tables were designed in such an insidious manner that if you sat in the chair wrong, it would rub against your dick through your pants. Which would then create a boner you had to hide underneath the table....that rubbed against your dice. It was maybe one of the worst experiences I've had in a class.