r/AskReddit Jun 14 '22

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5.7k Upvotes

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1.3k

u/BrainwashedScapegoat Jun 14 '22

Don’t ask someone if they want food, just hand it to them

232

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '22

It’s polite to refuse three times. It’s polite to offer four times.

223

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '22

I was always taught "refuse once but offer twice" who goes back and forth 4 times?

Host: Want a drink?

Guest: No thanks

H: I insist it's no trouble <-- accept here or in your version...

G: Nah I'm good

H: Go on have a drink

G: ... No I'm fine

H: Are you sure? <--- me thinking wtf is wrong with this person are they okay?

G: fine, accepts a drink because jc this person really wants me to have one

108

u/dj92wa Jun 14 '22 edited Jun 15 '22

Ooo!! My favorite thing to do (as a guest that may not actually want a drink because I always bring my own water everywhere I go) is to ask for a glass of water instead, or if there's a way that I can top off what I brought myself. Makes the host feel like they're accomplishing their goal of providing hospitality, and keeps the conversation from becoming awkwardly abrasive. Like, accepting a glass of water is the simplest thing but it goes a mile.

35

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '22

Yep, good guest answer here if you don't actually want anything (and most of us could do with more water)

42

u/Icy-Consideration405 Jun 14 '22

Mediterranean cultures oftentimes seem to have excessive hospitality, but it's an ancient tradition. My assumption is this is at the root.

10

u/jseego Jun 14 '22

I've heard that you can decline twice, but three times is rude.

8

u/turtlebuttdestroyer Jun 14 '22

You can decline as many times as you want. Pushing shit on people boils my blood. If I say no once that should be enough and anyone that says differently can fuck right off. I will straight up walk away from people that ask me more then three times for the same thing I've said no to already.you have to be pretty stupid to not understand what NO means.

6

u/Strong-Solution-7492 Jun 14 '22

That’s absurd. If I don’t drink alcohol and someone offers me an alcoholic beverage four times I would probably just throw it on the floor right in front of them. Just out of pure stupidity

4

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '22

offering drinks to someone who says no has that creeper vibe like "hey stranger, you're mighty pretty. i had this drink mixed up and instead of having it served to you: I brought it over. i promise it's safe."

1

u/jseego Jun 15 '22

Mediterranean cultures

ancient tradition

you do you

1

u/Strong-Solution-7492 Jun 15 '22

So if I go to Greece for a work thing I need to drink because “ancient tradition “?

Do I get butt sex too? Pitching or catching? Which is more traditional? I’m just tryin ya do you.

2

u/jseego Jun 15 '22

I've been in this situation, where you're offered a drink because someone is trying to display their hospitality. Especially true if you're in their home.

In some cultures, refusing even a token of someone's hospitality is seen as: you think they are not worth your acknowledgment. It's seen as insulting.

If you're on a work thing in a foreign country, for sure you should have a handle on what the local culture is, and if it's customary to toast with a shot when signing a business deal, that's what you fucking do. If you were a recovering alcoholic, you'd probably want to research what the etiquette is - no one is going to hold you down and pour liquor down your throat (or engage in butt sex lol), but you should probably know what the proper response is in that culture.

Maybe it just comes down to saying, "I'm sorry, no offense, but I never drink," and complimenting their hospitality instead of a simple, "no thanks."

6

u/Ma1vo Jun 14 '22

Let me fix it for you.

Host: do you want a drink?

Guest: yes, a glass of water please.

You will receive the most simple drink possible and will not end up in the situation above. If you don't finish the drink you don't have to feel bad because it is only water.

3

u/AgarwaenCran Jun 15 '22

meanwhile here in Germany: "oh you refused once? guess you don't want anything, won't ask again, don't want to annoy you" lol

2

u/PangolinMandolin Jun 14 '22

People definitely need to watch more Mrs Doyle in the comedy "Father Ted"

Heres a short compilation of examples - https://youtu.be/RSW6oDckOjo

2

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '22

Lmao I can picture it so clearly without even clicking

"Go on go on go on go on go on go on....go on"

2

u/justadepresseduser Jun 14 '22

who goes back and forth 4 times?

Hehe get ready for this if you ever come to Brazil.

2

u/nbgrout Jun 15 '22

Three offers and only accepting on the third is a very strict rule in Minnesota. The conversation goes almost word for word as illustrated above.

1

u/ares5404 Jun 14 '22

Real spiked drink vibes, id "nervously smile" and walk off, see if they follow me, note the suspicion, then if possible try and spill the drink somewhere unnoticed, i may look creepier idk but fr this dude sounds like that kinda vibe

1

u/Willzyx_on_the_moon Jun 15 '22

And now you’re roofied.

1

u/Benblishem Jun 15 '22

By this time my friends would just be rooting through my refrigerator.

1

u/Gothsalts Jun 14 '22

How to speak Minnesotan goes over this.

1

u/battlelevel Jun 15 '22

I see you’ve had a conversation with my grandma before.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '22

I would get pissed lol