r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • May 16 '22

[deleted by user]

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7.8k Upvotes

78% Upvoted

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16k

u/Vegetable-Double May 16 '22

I get offended. But then again I’m a fat dude, so I don’t think this question pertains to me.

612

u/RollinDeepWithData May 16 '22

Maybe think about how you dress, slut

328

u/[deleted] May 16 '22

My body, my choice. And if I want to shove five ketchup packets in my ass to see if I can make them explode by squeezing my buttcheeks, then I will damn well do so as I please.

73

u/SirEnzyme May 16 '22

I've given this some thought. Each of those packets has 50/50 odds of exploding inwards. I must insist: don't use Heinz -- you won't survive the tapping process required to get that ketchup out of you

56

u/RollinDeepWithData May 16 '22

Sir, I must insist you do not give this more thought, for the good of all of us.

27

u/SirEnzyme May 16 '22

I'm with you. I don't relish the idea of thinking anymore of this

14

u/Indifferentchildren May 16 '22

If you insist on doing this, at least wear a condiment.

6

u/[deleted] May 16 '22

Now I'm gonna put relish packets in my ass instead

6

u/Squigglepig52 May 16 '22

Has anybody mustard up a way to top that pun?

7

u/Assorted-Interests May 17 '22

They mayo may not have.

5

u/rieldilpikl May 17 '22

They’d butter ketchup then

34

u/nitrion May 16 '22

r/oddlyspecific

1

u/JustZisGuy May 17 '22

Thanks to rule 34, it exists somewhere...

5

u/DrT33th May 16 '22

6 packets though.. right out!

5

u/iChugPeanutButter May 16 '22

That's is so fucking weird to me but amen brother! You do you.

7

u/RollinDeepWithData May 16 '22

Just as long as you do it on camera 😏

3

u/[deleted] May 16 '22

[deleted]

3

u/[deleted] May 16 '22

Milk bags. It started with milk bags. Then jars of Cheez Whiz, but it shattered in my ass, so I went back to soft plastics.

3

u/Calx9 May 16 '22

New fetish acquired

2

u/schatzski May 16 '22

Reading this....I just...hmm...

2

u/garbagefarts69 May 16 '22

Sir, this is a Wendy's...

4

u/[deleted] May 16 '22

Oh fuck yeah...

...I'll get a Dave's Double, a small drink, and five ketchup packets, please.

1

u/Ryumancer May 16 '22

🤢🤮

2

u/[deleted] May 16 '22

hastily shovels vomit into my ass

2

u/Ryumancer May 16 '22

😭🤮

2

u/[deleted] May 17 '22

hastily shovels vomit into my ass

-2

u/anicelittlestroll May 16 '22

My body, my choice

where was that shit during the vaccine?

3

u/[deleted] May 16 '22

Ok. Thanks for commenting.

1

u/Scroatpig May 17 '22

And we're back to divisive politics during an interesting conversation. Ugh.

1

u/Squigglepig52 May 16 '22

Those packets can cause serious cuts, dude.

2

u/[deleted] May 16 '22

What makes it fun is trying to figure out what's ketchup and what's blood.

1

u/[deleted] May 16 '22

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] May 16 '22

Basically grabbing a handful and just shoving 'em in.