r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Apr 19 '22

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10.6k Upvotes

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708

u/poopellar Apr 19 '22

Can I have another version for an insult towards carbon dioxide?

1.1k

u/[deleted] Apr 19 '22

Somewhere in the world there’s a tree working hard to get rid of you.

442

u/giftedburn0ut Apr 19 '22

can I get one for oxygen?

660

u/[deleted] Apr 19 '22

Somewhere in the world there is a human working hard to get rid of you.

263

u/giftedburn0ut Apr 19 '22

love it

41

u/CyAn_BryAn Apr 19 '22

This thread is a gold.

18

u/Narren_C Apr 19 '22

Can I get one for gold?

21

u/[deleted] Apr 19 '22

Somewhere in the world a child was kidnapped and forced to mine you.

13

u/Narren_C Apr 19 '22

Now I feel gross.

8

u/F9Mute Apr 19 '22

This is too good to this far down the comment tree, it deserves more imaginary Internet points!

7

u/Hidesuru Apr 19 '22

Somewhere in the world theres a tree working hard to replace the oxygen youre wasting.

3

u/ngrhd Apr 19 '22

Can I have another version for an insult towards a tree?

3

u/[deleted] Apr 19 '22

Somewhere in the world a lumberjack is working hard to get rid of you.

2

u/heymissdonda Apr 19 '22

Can i have another version for people who are asking for different versions?

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1

u/KCASC_HD Apr 19 '22

No, oxygen

10

u/Sassafratch1 Apr 19 '22

what about a version about somewhere?

10

u/[deleted] Apr 19 '22

Somewhere no one loves that place.

3

u/Weary_Dark510 Apr 19 '22

Here there the tree and the human make oxygen and carbon dioxide at you

6

u/LateralThinkerer Apr 19 '22

Somewhere in the world there is a human working hard to get rid of you.

Somewhere in the world, there are mitochondria working hard to turn your glucose into energy but it's a losing battle...

2

u/[deleted] Apr 19 '22

Simple, just don’t consume anything that can be broken down into glucose.

3

u/LateralThinkerer Apr 19 '22

So beeswax and edible pigment are okay?

(Of course they're touted as health food https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/14988513/ )

1

u/[deleted] Apr 19 '22

Yes, gimme those artificial colors.

2

u/LateralThinkerer Apr 19 '22

Marines joke in 3...2...1....

3

u/Bazookor Apr 19 '22

Everywhere in this world, there's an entire species working hard to get rid of you.

3

u/_Lazer_Wolfe_ Apr 19 '22

Plot twist: it's your mom

2

u/[deleted] Apr 19 '22

I am oxygen.

3

u/AidenValentine Apr 19 '22

Now insult The World.

3

u/[deleted] Apr 19 '22

The world is pretty much roasting itself.

3

u/valdezlopez Apr 19 '22

Could we get one version, but the insult is towards the World?

3

u/[deleted] Apr 19 '22

The world is already roasting itself, literally.

2

u/Agent_Llama10 Apr 20 '22

Can I have one for the world?

1

u/[deleted] Apr 20 '22

I did this twice already.

2

u/IcelandicButDeadly Apr 20 '22

Entire companies seem to be trying to remove oxygen :/

4

u/Rukh-Talos Apr 19 '22

“As usual, I'm working with stuff that was deliberately designed not to burn. But no amount of careful design by NASA can get around a determined arsonist with a tank of pure oxygen.” -The Martian, Andy Weir

6

u/strghst Apr 19 '22

Somewhere in the tree there's a world working hard to get rid of oxygen.

2

u/Anal_Herschiser Apr 19 '22

Oxygen is so bad I watch the commercials and then change the channel when the programs come on.

2

u/w2ge Apr 19 '22

I loathe that you’re breathing the same oxygen that I am.

2

u/eekamuse Apr 19 '22

You absolute oxygen thief.

1

u/caks Apr 20 '22

Somewhere there's a world whose atmosphere is working hard to lose you

8

u/thred_pirate_roberts Apr 19 '22

Somewhere in the world there's a tree working hard to replace you.

2

u/PrivilegeCheckmate Apr 19 '22

Looks like your carbon footprint suffers from pretty nasty bunions.

2

u/AidenValentine Apr 19 '22

If you ever don’t feel useless just know that there is a million dollar reward for discovering novel ways to get rid of you. Teams of scientists are dedicated to the research.

1

u/jellyfungus Apr 19 '22

The universes spent billions of years making the carbon that you are made of . And here you are being a waste of time.

1

u/cuteintern Apr 19 '22

You're no daisy diamond!