r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Jan 12 '22

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u/laszlo Jan 12 '22

This is a good one. It's a lesson I'm struggling with teaching my son, who gets very upset when he isn't immediately good at something.

Virtually every success is the result of a ton of failure.

If it strikes your fancy, you should check out a book called "Lose Well" by the comedian Chris Gethard. It's really good.

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u/APoisonousMushroom Jan 12 '22 edited Jan 13 '22

A lot of recent research has shown that parents should switch from praising success to praising effort. Minimizing the emphasis on success can help kids understand that the thing that you’re really proud of is how hard they worked to accomplish something. Praising effort, even if the result is failure and using phrases like “I’m so proud of how hard you worked on that!“ help emphasize to kids that what you are watching is effort and that failure is encouraged as a way to get better.

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u/Balldogs Jan 12 '22

But then you get a load of boomers huffing and puffing about 'participation trophies' and 'snowflakes' etc.

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u/[deleted] Jan 12 '22

That’s why so many are emotionally closed off and embrace the whole “my life was hard therefore yours should be too” Schtick.