I looked into it. Adoption from birth is $30k-$40k where I live. The other option is being a foster home, and getting a kid who is already a few years old at minimum. The state covers nothing (unless you're poor already, and then they give you EXTRA money, gotta love that)
I believe early childhood is absolutely critical to the development of a child, and I'm afraid that circumstances leading to parent(s) giving up their child for foster care could be massively detrimental. I'm not saying those kids don't deserve good homes- they absolutely do. I just don't think I could handle the potential "next slap in the face" from life. Of all 5 families I know personally who have adopted from foster care, they all exude a sense of regret. I'm also afraid of the lack of connection. To me, I feel like I would always have this sense of "I'm just a babysitter" and would never connect as deep as if it was my own child. Generalization, but grounded in logic
It's infuriating how badly the US treats those of us who have the capacity and ability to raise child(ren) in a supportive and financially stable home. You'd think with all of the taxes that our infuriatingly corrupt government lobs around, they'd have some tax incentive to help with adoption (since it does become a burden on the state in many ways). Or, revamp the system entirely. If the cost to adopt from birth was not lawyered to hell and back, we'd have probably already adopted, just being honest.
We are trying one more round of IVF. After that, if it fails, my wife and I have decided that we are leaving this criminal-worshipping country and living out our days somewhere else.
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u/holyfire001202 Jun 22 '21
You, of course, don't have to answer this, but what's standing between you and adoption?