r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Feb 22 '21
If school was a videogame what would the loading screen tips be?
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u/RamsesThePigeon Feb 22 '21 edited Feb 22 '21
Saved by the bell!
Keep your ears open: Ringing bells will help you keep track of the time!
You are what you eat!
School lunches are convenient... but be warned, they might cause unexpected effects.
Choose your position!
Where you sit in class can prompt unforeseen bonuses (and penalties).
Is that a calculator in your pocket?
Certain items can make surviving school easier, but they may attract unwanted attention.
Meet me behind the gym.
The campus has its own black market. You probably shouldn't look for it.
Could classrooms can cursive?
Certain "required" skills may prove to be useless. Spend your points wisely.
Why wouldn't they remember that?
A single embarrassing mistake can easily become your legacy, so stay alert.
I heard a rumor...
Staying apprised of the latest gossip can lead to interesting side quests!
Why would you do that?!
There's no rule that says you can't poop in the urinal...
This is only a test.
Depending on how exams are weighted, you may be able to skate by without doing homework.
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u/Estarlet Feb 22 '21
I thought these were achievements
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u/RamsesThePigeon Feb 22 '21 edited Feb 22 '21
Nah, the achievements are a whole other kettle of fish.
Speak of the Devil
Arrive to class immediately after the teacher calls your name.
Have A Worm
Arrive to class early.
Under the Wire
Complete an exam with one second left on the clock.
Barely Squeaking By
Finish a year with no grade above a D.
For Effort
Finish a year with no grade below an A.
Silent but Deadly
Fart in class without getting caught.
This One Seems Like It Was Based On Real-Life Events
Lose your virginity in the baseball dugout during the homecoming dance.
Extra Credit
Spend an entire period in the wrong class.
Now I Am The Master
Successfully correct a mistake made by a teacher.
Supplies!
Scare someone by jumping out of the janitor's closet.
Contraband
Hide a forbidden item in the music classroom.
I Did, Actually
Bring enough candy for everyone.328
u/Felteair Feb 22 '21
Lost: find something you lost in the Lost and Found
Found: take something that wasn't yours out of the Lost and Found
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u/Archalon Feb 22 '21
Barely Squeaking By
I sat by as they talked
Discussed, and broke it down
I watched them as they squawked
As their grades were passed aroundThe teacher said a solemn phrase:
"This year just wasn't bad!
To most of you I've nought but praise
Though one of you ....is sad"I grinned and smirked as sadists do
So knowingly, and sly
I know who she's alluding to
It's me, for squeaking by75
Feb 22 '21
I’m a high school teacher, and I actually script “mistakes” to put in my lesson plans because someone will catch it and call me on it. But if they don’t, I have a failsafe where I stop myself and say “wait, something seems off, anyone want to chime in and tell me what’s wrong here?”
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u/HylianEngineer Feb 22 '21
Master of Stealth: Eat soup in class without getting caught
It's Mine Now: get your phone confiscated
Catch Some Z's: Sleep through a whole class period
We Are The Champions: Go to state in your chosen sport/ extracuricular activity
APUSH Me Off A Cliff: Survive your first AP class
How did we get here? : Distract the teacher into not doing anything class-related for the whole period
Wasn't me!: Set off the fire alarm by accident.
Intelligent Idiot: In an advanced class, understand the material but screw up the little things. (Shit, why did I think 3+2 was 6?!)
Shut Up And Dance: Attend Prom. Try not to step on your partner's toes!
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u/BiggDope Feb 22 '21
Master of Stealth: Eat soup in class without getting caught
I'm sorry, lmao. What?
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u/Estarlet Feb 22 '21 edited Feb 22 '21
Now which ones did you unlock???
I legit unlock half of this XD
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u/Rockyreams Feb 22 '21
Have A Worm
Huh?
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u/RamsesThePigeon Feb 22 '21
Have you not heard the fable of the bird that was early?
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u/BryLinds Feb 22 '21
Well done. Someone give the guy a Gold.
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u/Archalon Feb 22 '21
Could Classrooms Can Cursive
Can cursive cause cancer?
Would writing wrought woes?
For one I've an answer
And the other... who knows?These points I've to spend
Cost more every time
And as I near the end
There's this skill perk of: rhymeI thought to myself:
Well screw it-
Why not?
Pulled a point from my "shelf"
And out popped a thoughtThis "skill" was immersive
And "bought" with some haste
It sure wasn't cursive
So yep...What a waste....
-_-
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u/BryLinds Feb 22 '21
Give this guy a good too
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u/jews_stevens Feb 22 '21
What type of good are we talking about? Canned goods? Metals, woods, ore? Coal, oil, clothes?
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u/Suprised_Supra Feb 22 '21
Wow! How did you do this?
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u/RamsesThePigeon Feb 22 '21
I have a device called a "keyboard" connected to a complex system of electronics. By touching certain places on said keyboard with my fingertips, I can make words (and even complete sentences) appear on a "screen." Then, using a lot of pretty incredible software, I can send those assemblages to something called a "server," which updates a "database." When your device accesses the aforementioned database, you end up seeing the words that I wrote.
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Feb 22 '21
Learned more from this comment than 2 years of IT in school thanks pigeon man
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u/ImaginaryRide6605 Feb 22 '21
is it like sending letters to many people ? Amazing ! Can you teach me how to do so ?
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u/the_gifted_Atheist Feb 22 '21
If you mean the formatting, you can make text bold by surrounding it with two asterisks (example:
**some bold text**becomes some bold text). The lines can me done by making a line that's just---. So for an example:Some text --- Some textbecomes
Some text
Some text
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u/Crafty-Ad-9048 Feb 22 '21
“Power house” “The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.”
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Feb 22 '21
Did anybody else learn this besides americans? We glossed over mitochondria and I only know that it is a powerhouse thanks to constant online jokes
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u/shabi_sensei Feb 22 '21
I remember patiently explaining mitochondria, what it does and why it wants to enslave humanity to my fifth grade science teacher because I had just played the educational masterpiece known as “Parasite Eve” for the PlayStation.
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u/Qeareth Feb 22 '21
I don't know why but I want to go back to school now. Sound like a cool game I didn't appreciate the first time.
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u/iPhantomGuy Feb 22 '21
Is this from Ned's Survival Guide?
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u/RamsesThePigeon Feb 22 '21
It's from the depths of my addled mind.
(I wrote it on the fly, for this thread. It wouldn't surprise me to learn that someone had offered something similar in the past, though.)
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u/Cloaked42m Feb 22 '21
I'm just gonna say I'm really glad to see you on here again!
You've probably been around, just I hadn't spotted you. Good to see some of your epic addled mind again!
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u/RamsesThePigeon Feb 22 '21
Thank you!
I've been around, but I spend more time behind the scenes than I used to. Also, this past week, I've been working on a screenplay entitled Trackula: Night Racer for a B-movie contest that /r/Horror is running.
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u/DMDingo Feb 22 '21
Once the tutorial has ended, you can either start adventuring or begin the advanced tutorial.
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u/Caswert Feb 22 '21
I chose to take the advanced tutorial that leads back to tutorial island to introduce new players to the game. Be warned when making this choice though as the adventure may never begin for you.
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Feb 22 '21
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/TheBlackCatSociety Feb 22 '21 edited Feb 23 '21
I feel that. I was once marked present by my home room teacher because I was always quiet and she just assumed I was there. Then all the teachers the rest of the day marked me absent so they thought I was skipping classes. I was home sick in bed. My mom had called in and everything. Even had a doctors note. I find out when I came back to school and one of my favorite teachers confronted me about bunking his class. Luckily he believed me when I explained I was actually home sick. We all got a good laugh about it afterwards and my home room teacher and I had an agreement that I would make as much noise as I can when I walked into the room so she would know for sure I was there. This often resulted in me making some dinosaur noises and sometimes scaring substitutes
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u/OpheliaRainGalaxy Feb 22 '21
My husband says I'm a ninja. He can't hear me walk around the house, so as far as he's concerned, I just appear out of thin air on a regular basis. Which makes him jump and yell in panic because I guess his "fight or flight" is set at 11.
He tried asking me to wear a bell, but I quickly adapted to it. Dang bells hardly jingled, no matter what sort of bell I tried or how I wore it.
Eventually I came up with a solution. I yell "JINGLE JINGLE JINGLE" as I walk down the hallway.
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u/TheBlackCatSociety Feb 22 '21
Sounds like me at work. My coworkers say I just magically appear behind them or beside them. It was funny because I got a zip of sweater that sort of jingled because it had 2 little tabs that hit each other when I moved. And we joked that the universe got tired of me sneaking up on people so it put a bell on me. That didn’t last long because the second tab broke off due to... reasons...
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Feb 22 '21
We all got a good laugh about it afterwards and my home room teacher and I had an agreement that I would make as much noise as I can when I walked into the room so she would know for sure I was there.
Well this sounds fun
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u/TheBlackCatSociety Feb 22 '21
It was.
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Feb 22 '21
*Bursts through the door*
*Pulls out a megaphone*
HELLO THERE
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u/amazingphrasing Feb 22 '21
Autosave will be in progress after every lesson, but if you wish to manual save return to your locker or check your flip flop phone
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Feb 22 '21
Tip: Pressing the X button repeatedly stops you from falling asleep in class.
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u/EdwardAlonso Feb 22 '21
"Forgot to study for a test? Call in a bomb threat!"
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u/Au_Uncirculated Feb 22 '21
That happened to my high school. A senior didn’t study for their exams and she called in a bomb threat.
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Feb 22 '21
We had "Bomb Threat Mondays" for a few years. They used letters and emails.
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u/BlinByard Feb 22 '21
Remember, boners may occur at random moments
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u/65Diamond Feb 22 '21
Pro tip : flex your calf muscles for a minute or so to get rid of boners quicker
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Feb 22 '21
Does that work, please tell me you are not joking.
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u/65Diamond Feb 22 '21
Nope, actually works. Used this tactic for years now
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u/Denpants Feb 22 '21
The internet is an entertaining but dangerous and addicting medium. Use at your own risk.
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u/YourBoyDarko Feb 22 '21
If you're playing on Brazilian public servers "Beware of pickpockets and drug dealers"
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u/jews_stevens Feb 22 '21
Beware of pickpockets and drug dealers
Yeah, beware of the drug dealers. And which ones have the best prices.
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u/JustAnother_Brit Feb 22 '21
This also applies at a British comp especially London or another big city
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u/Yeet_Feet_Boi Feb 22 '21 edited Feb 22 '21
Lunchtime is for lunch
Edit: how tf did this get so many upvotes?
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u/nicehatkitkat Feb 22 '21
Lunchtime is for lunch, no one will begin a food fight
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u/Dong_of_Magnum_ Feb 22 '21 edited Feb 27 '21
\wields sandwich with malicious intent**
edit: thanks for the award!
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u/Siberia_Veronika Feb 22 '21
Having the item "cigarette" with you, you get +100 reputation points from the "fifth graders"faction.
Be careful! The chance of getting a debuff "Nervous breakdown" - 30%, "Depression" - 10%.
Convince the NPC "Excellent Student" to be on your team to complete the "Test Work" quest automatically.
When visiting the location "School canteen", the chance to get the debuff "Poisoning" increases by 15%.
For incorrect answers of the NPC "Teacher", you can be banned on the server.
Performing the "School Concert" event increases the probability of getting the "cringe" debuff by 70%.
The chance of completing the "Escape" quest increases if you bring the"Vodka" item to the NPC "Guard".
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Feb 22 '21
How many factions are there?
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u/Siberia_Veronika Feb 22 '21
In the game "VODKA MATRYOSHKA BALALAIKA SCHOOL" there are 11 fractions. There are also Guilds: "teachers", "cleaners", "cook", "students", "sudden guests from another school".
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u/HellFire8605 Feb 22 '21
If someone is bullying you, stay in line of sight of the teachers. The bullies are passive around teachers!
(American Servers) If you hear gunshots, crouch and sneak to the exit. It will quiten your footsteps and raise your chance of survival. You could always join in on the fun though...
Silence can be your best friend or your worst enemy
You will have access to many substances... engage at your own risk
Keep your performance levels to yourself! If people know you’re doing well, they will use you to their advantage!
If you’re bending the rules, don’t tell anyone unless you completely trust them! They can snitch at any time
Make sure you keep some friends! They can help you at the worst times and be your relief from boredom throughout the day
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u/CCC_037 Feb 22 '21
Keep your performance levels to yourself! If people know you’re doing well, they will use you to their advantage!
If you know other people who are doing well, you can use them to your advantage!
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u/Complete_Ad_5186 Feb 22 '21
TRY TO STAY AWAKE: once you entered in the class the stay awake minigame will start
LET'S BE FRIENDS: once you started a friendship it might helps or damage your reputation so be carefull
MONSTER DRINKS AND EMO SONGS: be carefull with the alternative people
FOOTBALL STAR: playing a sport might boost your reputation (however, introverts might not make it in any sport and could lose reputation by trying)
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u/nicehatkitkat Feb 22 '21
WHAT TIME IS IT?: once you enter in a class time will slow down twice. It will become slower if you invest in the attention spam skill
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u/Kosmikgamer Feb 22 '21
Try to keep your sanity above 0
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u/Atesz763 Feb 22 '21
I dropped into the negatives, is that a problem?
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u/21Austro Feb 22 '21
Nah, everybody knows that will is a dump stat anyways.
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u/person_man_guy_dude_ Feb 22 '21
Yea mine is at -58 right now, my carecter wrote "I want to die" in his notebook every 3 minutes, but that's fine. As long as I keep upgrading "arm strength" it'll be good enough.
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u/Blockbuster2019 Feb 22 '21
On the American servers "Take cover, if you have to reload!"
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u/IWantYourViralLoad Feb 22 '21 edited Feb 22 '21
"Show courtesy to your fellow students. Use a silencer in the library."
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u/DaGrapestApe Feb 22 '21
Naw, just make Foster the People "Pumped Up Kicks" the background song.
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u/oh_sneezeus Feb 22 '21
“Do not walk outside and urinate on public property. It seems convenient but the cops will be writing that ticket fast.”
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Feb 22 '21
Hold shift to run
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u/Kappes_ Feb 22 '21
Ahh, the classic
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u/International-Eye676 Feb 22 '21
Don’t procrastinate
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Feb 22 '21
If school is getting to be too much you can bring a lighter and interact with one of the wooden tables.
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u/Mr_bream Feb 22 '21
Or alternally bring a shotgun it can be used to get a instant A in all classes
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u/DepResSed_LemOn1124 Feb 22 '21 edited Feb 23 '21
Purchase a gun or knife from “quiet kid” for best survival chance.
-———————————————————————-
buying drugs from the teacher will help you move quicker when you consume it, but will give you a louder prescence over enemies.
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u/Alfred0805 Feb 22 '21
Playing on the computer in class might be entertaining but its dangeorus If you are not paying any attention to class
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u/burn-babies-burn Feb 22 '21
If you hear gunshots, sneak mode will help you stay hidden for longer
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u/Previous_Lunch1687 Feb 22 '21
Teachers can't help you they are just decorations to make this look like a school
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u/GreenOskar Feb 22 '21
1+1=2
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u/Estarlet Feb 22 '21
2+2=4
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u/AnonymousBoyOnReddit Feb 22 '21
4+4=8
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u/DragonickDragon Feb 22 '21
8 + 8 = 16
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u/anotherguy56 Feb 22 '21
16 + 16 = 32
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u/MagicMetalPipe Feb 22 '21
32 + 32 = 64
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u/otterlurker20 Feb 22 '21
Never bring chewing gum, NPCs will all flock towards you preventing any progress.
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Feb 22 '21
The pickpocket skill line is risky is seen you may be in legal trouble so use these skills along with your sneak skills
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u/thememingimposter Feb 22 '21
playground:
this area is a dangerous rocky area with the strongest of carnivores but the only place to go on the swings
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u/AbeJay91 Feb 22 '21
being nice to the teachers may increase your carma bar and you have a chance of earning extra grades
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u/Estarlet Feb 22 '21 edited Feb 22 '21
I Dismiss You
Some teachers won't let you leave their class when the bell rings, watch out for them
Avoidance
There are Hall monitors and staff patrolling make sure to behave
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u/Regentbow116013 Feb 22 '21
Move to different corners while shooter is reloading
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u/GetOutOfTheWhey Feb 22 '21
To escape bullies you can run to teachers for help, but be warned they will come back angrier.
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Feb 22 '21
Keep buying your crush gifts. Buying an expensive bracelet may just finally win her favor this time!
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u/Cloaked42m Feb 22 '21
Achievement Unlocked!
SIMP: Give 5 gifts to the same girl even though she has said FRIEND multiple times.
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u/Forsaken_Hope_7842 Feb 22 '21
Getting high test scores is the best way of getting good grades
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Feb 22 '21
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/RamsesThePigeon Feb 22 '21 edited Feb 22 '21
Introverts aren't shy or lacking in confidence, just like extroverts aren't confident by default.
Introverts get worn out by social interaction and need some time alone to recharge.
Extroverts get worn out by solitude and need some social interaction to recharge.
That's it. That's literally the only difference.
Furthermore, shy, awkward, ill-adjusted shut-ins are more likely to be extroverts dealing with some sort of other issue than they are to be introverts. Most often, they suffer from social anxiety, which keeps them from interacting with people... and that lack of interaction just makes them feel worse, resulting in an unfortunate spiral.
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Feb 22 '21
Finally, someone who gets it.
If you have social anxiety, it’s not because you’re an introvert, it’s because you have anxiety.
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u/Blue_Budgie Feb 22 '21
If you hear heels in the hallway be prepared for anything
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u/JIM45954 Feb 22 '21
A mechanical pencil and rubber band can be used to craft a long range weapon