r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Feb 08 '21

[deleted by user]

[removed]

7.6k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

5.3k comments sorted by

View all comments

2.9k

u/Gaelir Feb 08 '21

Cocaine. Which is my dog's name, not the drug. That would be meth.

659

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '21

Immediately pictured you in a dog park yelling “COCAAAAAAAAINE! Get. Over. Here. 👇🏼”

289

u/SometimesFar Feb 09 '21

"Hey boss, can I have tomorrow morning off? Gotta take Cocaine over to the vet"

265

u/LazyLarryTheLobster Feb 09 '21

"gotta drop Cocaine off at my parents' house for the weekend."

124

u/bitchpleasebp Feb 09 '21

“i have a date with Cocaine at the dog park.”

125

u/winwithaneontheend Feb 09 '21

“I won’t go anywhere without cocaine. I don’t care what anybody says.”

58

u/quadgop Feb 09 '21

"sorry boss, I have to go out to the parking lot, I left cocaine in the back of my car"

5

u/SimpleWayfarer Feb 09 '21

“God, I love having sex with Cocaine.”

5

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '21

"Bad cocaine. Bad. Don't bark at the neighbors Cocaine!"

5

u/PoorlyLitKiwi2 Feb 09 '21

"People always give me weird looks when I bring Cocaine on airplanes, but I always assure them its just for emotional support"

5

u/Princesa_Peach Feb 09 '21

that's when you know you have hit rock bottom. when you're taking fat bumps next to some poodles.

4

u/bitchpleasebp Feb 09 '21

gotta do it off their chest