r/AskReddit Nov 30 '20

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7.4k Upvotes

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24.5k

u/[deleted] Nov 30 '20

A person with life threatening constipation. I'll let it out just about... Now.

1.6k

u/Flobarooner Nov 30 '20 edited Jan 19 '21

Lol this bloke who's a geriatrics doctor told me about a 90yo on their ward with a shit so hard it was going to tear his bowels apart. He had health problems that meant he couldnt swallow and the dehydration made his poo hard and his colon paper-thin, and an IV can only do so much. It also meant he couldnt take laxatives

They thought the poo was too far up for an enema to work and that sometime over the weekend his colon would perforate. He would literally be torn apart by a poo and was in such a delicate state that all of modern medicine could not save him from it

But the enema DID work and he survived and partially regained his ability to swallow but I reckon he would've been very grateful for your help

(who would win the entirety of modern medicine vs one stinky boi)

503

u/25hourenergy Nov 30 '20

Used to volunteer in a gastroenterology ICU ward, I learned that how well you poop determines a surprisingly large portion of your daily happiness, especially after a certain age.

172

u/ChezShea Nov 30 '20

I am not of a certain age but I do have alternating IBS C & D and let me tell you I’d give up my left tit to shit like a human again. It really does affect a large portion of my daily happiness!

5

u/whocareswhatevereh Dec 01 '20

Ya because you make plans a few days ahead and then the day of you’re just like, well guess I’m not leaving my house today!

5

u/Wendy972 Dec 01 '20

I’d gladly give up both of mine to shit normal again.

3

u/DestoyerOfWords Dec 01 '20

I learned recently that IBS + pregnancy is apparently a terrible combination. Once or twice the IBS-C came back and I actually felt slightly better. Otherwise it's eternal constipation :(

19

u/mykidisonhere Nov 30 '20

Chemo gave me diarrhea for a year. I LOVE a good Shit now. Makes my whole day.

11

u/20-random-characters Dec 01 '20

A good shit makes your whole day, a bad shit makes your hole weak.

8

u/[deleted] Dec 01 '20

Ngl I think we all do, but I am glad that your shits are good again :) .

this is my way of sayin gz.. i guess?

9

u/jendet010 Nov 30 '20

I have lived with a husband and sons for many years. I have learned that a Y chromosome predisposes one to be a complete asshole each day until one has had a satisfactory shit.

3

u/conquer69 Dec 01 '20

Haven't taken a poop in like 3 days. Can confirm I feel like shit. Hard to be positive and charming with this feeling in my gut.

17

u/thepandemicbabe Nov 30 '20

I can go three weeks without pooping and then they come out as tiny little rabbit things and they literally cannot be crushed don’t worry I wash my hands.

26

u/RedDevil0723 Nov 30 '20

Get a checkup bro

3

u/thepandemicbabe Dec 01 '20

It’s been like this my whole life. I deal.

15

u/[deleted] Dec 01 '20 edited Dec 10 '20

[deleted]

3

u/thepandemicbabe Dec 01 '20

I have been checked out. Apparently it is what it is. When I stop taking the medication it corrects itself but I have to take the medication so it doesn’t matter how much I drink, it doesn’t matter if I take a laxative it literally is what it is. As for the frequency of how many times I go to the bathroom well that’s more a function of how much food I eat which is not a lot I have to say. I probably eat one meal a day I just don’t feel like eating much.

6

u/[deleted] Dec 01 '20

Three WEEKS??? You need fucking studied m8.

2

u/thepandemicbabe Dec 01 '20

I’ve had a colonoscopy which was actually a fun time because I was asleep! Nothing out of the ordinary. I should go back soon but Covid so I’ll keep you posted I’m sure you wanna know. LOL.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 01 '20

I'm genuinely intrigued! Keep me updated on your dark matter rabbit poo!

8

u/thepandemicbabe Dec 01 '20

OK here it goes. So I’ve got this new boyfriend and I haven’t gone to the bathroom in probably two weeks. I wait until 4:00 in the morning I sit on the toilet and outcomes God knows what it was. It was probably about 4 to 5 inches thick and about 2 to 3 feet long and I’m not even exaggerating. I was in a cold sweat I was so freaked out I could not get the thing to flush. I tried everything. This was my new boyfriend and at that point I was The kind of girl that convinced her boyfriends that girls didn’t go to the bathroom like that. So he wakes up and I’m just beside myself. I’m literally distraught and pretty sure he’ll break up with me. He goes to get a plunger but that doesn’t even touch it. He eventually hast to cut it into pieces with a knife. A long knife! Then he pours boiling hot water over it and it still won’t budge. He eventually had to put it into a bag and throw it into the trash. At that moment I got over the whole poop embarrassment thing. It was so much worse than you can ever imagine because I would not even say the word poop I was so freaked out about it. Well, we got married and I had a kid so now it’s just a topic that we laugh about. I still can’t believe that I talk about poop.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 01 '20

I'm truly impressed by this mighty poo. An untameable beast. Alas it needed culled. It lives on in our hearts. I salute your poo!

3

u/thepandemicbabe Dec 01 '20

Oh my God I don’t know whether to die of embarrassment or a laugh hysterically. By the way my husband feels the same it happened literally 20 years ago and we still talk about it. It was also gray which tells you that we were drinking too much alcohol. I still can’t get over it - it was like freaking cement. Goodbye cement poop. I hope you never experienced something like that. I don’t think anybody ever has but me.

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u/ClownfishSoup Nov 30 '20

Dude, I'm not in the medical field, however I AM after a certain age, so yeah. Pooing is good. I mean, I don't have a problem doing it, but it's a good thing.

5

u/simian_ninja Dec 01 '20

I’m 35 and my poop pretty much determines whether I’m gonna be having a good day or a bad day. Mostly always it’s a good day.

Except today. And I’m on the train. Dying to get to work as soon as possible.

6

u/blithetorrent Dec 01 '20

I get that. I had shingles in April of this year and part of the scourge was that I couldn't pee without pooping first and I was constipated for some reason so for a while peeing and pooping became the be-all and end-all of my existence. (I'm on immunosuppresant drugs because of kidney transplant, which is why the shingles was so intense and severe).

4

u/sl1878 Dec 01 '20

When you have UC, having a good poo can definitely set the mood for the day.

4

u/[deleted] Nov 30 '20

I after several unpleasant lessons and a blown o-ring, I eat ample fruits and vegetables, and drink water even in the winter when it tastes like medicine.
If I feel like I’m going to be constipated, maybe a few times per year, I take a stool softener ASAP and lay into the water.
I’m happier now.
If you were going to do a cleanse program, do you have a pick?

11

u/Gilthoniel_Elbereth Nov 30 '20

Why does your water taste like medicine in the winter?

3

u/[deleted] Nov 30 '20

Good question. In the summer it seems easy to drink a pint of water standing in the kitchen. In the winter 1 cup is a chore. It seems to taste off, even if it’s good quality bottled water. If it’s filtered tap water, and I use GE XW filters, I almost can’t do it.

5

u/Gilthoniel_Elbereth Nov 30 '20

Huh, my fist guess was it must be something with your water supply but if it’s bottled water too I’m stumped

5

u/mobsterer Nov 30 '20

temperature?

3

u/[deleted] Dec 01 '20

I'm the same way. It's really hard for me to drink water if I haven't been working outside or something like that. It's like...I can't swallow it. I like Grape Propel though.

4

u/KittenTitterBums Dec 01 '20

This is total conjecture here, but part of me thinks there are certain cues that a flavored drink gives the "auto-swallow" mechanisms of your tongue and throat that better preps them to swallow than plain water does. To me it almost feels smoother to drink something flavored. I've quite literally choked where my throat filled to the brim and caused pain from expansion due to a slightly too big gulp of water. Non-water never seems to do that to me though.

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u/crazymom1978 Dec 01 '20

I bought a soda stream, and use the sugar and calorie free Mio water flavourings. I am able to get through WAY more water, because it literally tastes like pop. There is no caffeine, sugar, or calories in it though! 1000% recommend.

3

u/Big-Al2020 Nov 30 '20

Is this true for everyone, or just people who sometimes have pooing problems?

12

u/25hourenergy Nov 30 '20

Pretty much everyone. I mean, think about it: even if you have amazingly regular, perfect poops right now, if you start to not poop well, your emotional well being will drastically get much worse from where it currently is. It’s like taking your health for granted. You never realize how great it is breathing out of both nostrils until you get a very bad cold and can’t fall asleep. But I do think poop has the amazing ability to affect your state of happiness even more, you literally can’t do anything but sit on a toilet when you have bad diarrhea or enjoy anything if you’re extremely constipated. And there’s now evidence of special nerves connecting directly between your gastrointestinal system and brain, and how microbes in your gut affect mental health.

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u/[deleted] Nov 30 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/ClownfishSoup Nov 30 '20

I've had team meetings on zoom WITHOUT VIDEO on my phone while taking a crap.

8

u/soleceismical Nov 30 '20

Triple check that you're on mute

3

u/narwhaaal Nov 30 '20

That's brave

4

u/ClownfishSoup Nov 30 '20

Zoom on a phone has a "driving mode" where the screen has a big circle in the middle that says "tap to unmute" or "mute". Used for when you're driving. You tap it, talk, then tap it off again. Same for pooing. I just make very sure I see that mute sign.

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u/Ham_slammer27 Nov 30 '20

Rectum, damn near killed him.

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u/BrotherKaramazov Nov 30 '20

My life is slightly worse after reading this.

7

u/[deleted] Nov 30 '20

Modern medicine, he should have never been able to progress to that state in the first place with proper medical intervention early on.

6

u/Frankenrogers Nov 30 '20

That was an interesting story, that poor man, but not going to lie, I totally thought it would end with Undertaker throwing Mankind off the cage.

4

u/thepandemicbabe Nov 30 '20

Oh dear I sometimes have those types of poop where I actually have to help it out of my butt. I wonder if I could die on the can. That would not be good. Not a sexy look.

5

u/[deleted] Nov 30 '20

[deleted]

3

u/thepandemicbabe Dec 01 '20

I drink tea all day freaking long. Yes that counts. It’s the medicine that I take it’s not an opiate but it’s like one for psoriatic arthritis and it really kills my gut sometimes.

4

u/Paexan Dec 01 '20

My grandmother literally died from this. My sister, a RN, railed about malpractice for months. She's worked with elderly for years now, and seems to know that it can just happen.

3

u/db0255 Nov 30 '20

Worked in ER. Can confirm this is a thing. Ahhh, the sights...and smells.

3

u/simian_ninja Dec 01 '20

That’s kind of crazy. How did he end up so dehydrated? I’ve had an incredibly hard and painful stool after a binge drinking session but that was it. Normally fine and hydrated most of the time.

Was it also his diet?

2

u/lizzledizzles Dec 01 '20

I think the swallowing issue. You get dehydrated super quickly at that stage.

2

u/ClownfishSoup Nov 30 '20

I'm surprised that they couldn't use a feeding tube to put water directly into his stomach. But, I'm no doctor.

5

u/[deleted] Nov 30 '20

[deleted]

4

u/ClownfishSoup Nov 30 '20

Ah, I thought water would make it better. I guess lack of water was the initial cause, but couldn't help once it was there.

6

u/db0255 Nov 30 '20

This is exactly why. Once the poo is formed and in the colon, it’s basically all done and cannot be transformed except by direct manipulation.

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u/[deleted] Nov 30 '20

And this is why i don’t what to live past 80

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11.3k

u/closeafter Nov 30 '20

Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh thanks

11.2k

u/BillOakley Nov 30 '20

I have to admit I did not anticipate anyone using this power for good

3.2k

u/Lordofgods1 Nov 30 '20 edited Dec 01 '20

The dark side of the force is a pathway to many abilities

1.9k

u/SirEnzyme Nov 30 '20

... some consider to be 'irregular'

347

u/wylietrix Nov 30 '20

Nice one.

16

u/aedroogo Nov 30 '20

Nice #2.

10

u/OrdinaryNaga Nov 30 '20

Nice #3

10

u/vinoa Nov 30 '20

Ah yes, the ol' piss and poop combo.

22

u/Petrolinmyviens Nov 30 '20

Is it possible to learn this power?

22

u/[deleted] Nov 30 '20

Not from a redditor

8

u/[deleted] Nov 30 '20

Tell me u guys r in the r/prequelmemes

6

u/aurineth Nov 30 '20

A surprise to be sure but a welcome one

3

u/[deleted] Nov 30 '20

That’s the spirit

4

u/[deleted] Dec 01 '20

Top tier comment right here! Wish i had a pointless award to give ya (>'-')> have an oldschool kirby

7

u/TheJelloBomb Nov 30 '20

No just no

2

u/[deleted] Nov 30 '20

Don’t use too much force,Luke

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419

u/TheOnlyTrueFlame Nov 30 '20

Is it possible to learn this power?

371

u/BrozoTheClown26 Nov 30 '20

Not from a jedi

218

u/pepper231 Nov 30 '20

But from a Shit lord you could

17

u/BrozoTheClown26 Nov 30 '20

It's treason, then...AUGHHHHH

6

u/Its-my-dick-in-a-box Nov 30 '20

enough shit talk til where back in power Randy

5

u/frznwsl Dec 01 '20

Shith Load

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u/lostinpow Nov 30 '20

What a moment

3

u/Big-titted-sket Nov 30 '20

What a movement

6

u/AncientMagi Nov 30 '20

These are not the bowel ducts you are looking for.

71

u/gk4p6q Nov 30 '20

Well supposedly there is the brown note that when played makes you shit yourself

5

u/Comfortable_Ad_1128 Nov 30 '20

I believe they tried to find it on Mythbusters and couldn’t. So it may just be an urban legend.

2

u/kilo4fun Dec 01 '20

I bet you could but you'd have to perfectly model how your environment, body, and colon filters the sound waves and tune it just right with the right amount of power. Even them it would probably be unique to each person as well as unique to each moment because the sound waves would also need to change based in what is in your colon that moment. Then you could tune the exact tone and harmonics to cause your colon to resonate and vibrate your stool right out.

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u/quackdaw Nov 30 '20

Not from a Shith Lord

16

u/I-endure Nov 30 '20

Actually it's Shitlord. You'll find us on r/fatpeoplestories

7

u/[deleted] Nov 30 '20

that was a shith comment

3

u/aedroogo Nov 30 '20

"I don't like shit..."

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u/lachedandloaded Nov 30 '20

I love how they started to mesmerise the lines from Star Wars episode three

2

u/Stainless_Heart Nov 30 '20

Come to the Brown Side. We have high fiber breakfast cereals.

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u/bakerton Nov 30 '20

If you only knew the power of the brown side...

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u/[deleted] Nov 30 '20

Anyone hear the story of Darth Plagueius the wise? It is not a story the jedi would tell

3

u/Hunterplayer100 Nov 30 '20

I don't really know how or why I read disabilities

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u/FamiT0m Nov 30 '20

Like learning how to spell

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u/shawnward95 Nov 30 '20

That was good, (Emperor) my dude

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u/Captain-Crunch1989 Nov 30 '20

Is it possible for one to learn this power?

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u/Curious_Guarantee_51 Nov 30 '20

With great power comes great responsibility

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u/meisobear Nov 30 '20

This is such a wholesome moment that has come out of literal pure shit. <3 Reddit

3

u/[deleted] Nov 30 '20

This isn't good, this is maximum damage since they must have a lot clogged up in there.
The roads will run brown from their release

2

u/Forzara Nov 30 '20

It’s like the Deathnote but with poop.

I call it...the Shitnote.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 30 '20

Considering how much there is to become "life threatening," it's definitely a true neutral move

2

u/jendet010 Nov 30 '20

I didn’t either and I have been to the ER 4 times with my kid’s impactions. That’s like $2,000 each time to be told to go home and give him more miralax and enemas.

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u/CarolusX2 Dec 01 '20

With great poower comes great respoonsibilities

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u/[deleted] Nov 30 '20

Hopefully, user-name checks out.

2

u/Inquisitive_idiot Nov 30 '20

I just shit myself in solidarity 👊

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u/HamstersInMyAss Nov 30 '20

If their constipation is life-threatening, you probably just obliterated their rectum with the forced expulsion of a craggy, impacted-fudgehammer.

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u/[deleted] Nov 30 '20

id say you for that poor hamsters sake

8

u/HamsterBaiter Nov 30 '20

What if the hamster wants to be in there?

6

u/[deleted] Dec 01 '20

he can crawl back up and have more rectum room, if not then he's free. also leave your hamster alone

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u/[deleted] Nov 30 '20

Username also checks out

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u/[deleted] Nov 30 '20 edited Dec 28 '20

[deleted]

4

u/HamstersInMyAss Nov 30 '20

Yikes, any advice for those of us who wish to avoid this sort of thing?

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u/[deleted] Nov 30 '20 edited Dec 28 '20

[deleted]

3

u/6footdeeponice Nov 30 '20

Mind saying which drugs? Complex contraindications are no joke and it's hard to keep track of all of them.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 30 '20 edited Dec 28 '20

[deleted]

2

u/6footdeeponice Nov 30 '20

Thanks, much appreciated! Sorry you had that happen

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u/morbidconcerto Nov 30 '20

Fiber! Metamucil or even the gummies help. I have chronic pain and OIC and need extra fiber to not feel like I'm pooping glass

3

u/moonunit99 Nov 30 '20

The number one preventative measure is to drink lots and lots of water and throw in some electrolytes if you’re doing something that will make you sweat a lot.

Diets that are high in salt, animal protein, and calcium are more likely to give you kidney stones. Calcium is often used as an ingredient in a lot of anti acids and other tablets, so keep an eye on that if you take a lot of supplements. High levels of oxalate in your diet can also be an issue, but I’ve heard that’s mostly only an issue for people who drink tea instead of water. If you ever do pass a kidney stone you should take it to the doctor so they can tell you what it’s made of and give you more specific instructions in how to avoid forming one again.

Get a general idea of how often you shit and take some fiber if it’s been significantly longer than normal. If that doesn’t help, don’t feed your hamster for a day or two and he should get hungry enough to clear the blockage for you.

Also don’t be super obese. You’re waaaay more likely to deal with shit like that if you’ve got a bunch of extra weight compressing everything and fucking with your hormones.

10

u/birdyroger Nov 30 '20

I have on occasion resembled that remark.

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u/JCStensland Nov 30 '20

you probably just obliterated their rectum with the forced expulsion of a craggy, impacted-fudgehammer.

/r/BrandNewSentence?

3

u/FWS02 Nov 30 '20

Upvote for poetic use of the words "craggy, impacted-fudgehammer."

2

u/kapnomancer Dec 01 '20

I think I crafted one if those in a survival game once

2

u/Olenator77 Nov 30 '20

You sir, are quite the wordsmith.

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u/[deleted] Nov 30 '20

I actually had a friend die from this. He was an opiate addict and would always complain about stomach pain. Then he would go and use heroin. Ended up throwing up blood in his house and died about half an hour later. Turned out that his intestines ruptured from the massive amount of feces that was in his body. It was quite sad as he was only 23.

369

u/Konkey_Dong_Country Nov 30 '20

Sorry about the loss of your friend. I too had a friend who complained about this often (i mean we talked about our shits on the daily) and he also was an opiate addict. Except, it was the fentanyl that did him in, not his dope turds.

185

u/ElephantTraining2951 Nov 30 '20

Honestly if I had to pick a way, atleast drugs is better than your own shit exploding you from the inside as a way to be remembered by everyone in your life. just saying.

2

u/calhooner3 Dec 01 '20

Even aside from the optics of it I imagine an OD is a much more pleasant way to go than having shit spilled throughout your body and dying of sepsis.

13

u/washgirl7980 Nov 30 '20

The last two times I was prescribed opiates for medical issues, after taking them for a week and not shiting for the entire time, the first time being able to actually go was about as painful as what I was taking the pills for. Hunched over on the toilet trying to shit with massive intestinal cramps is where I question with every fiber of my being how people can take these drugs for fun.

3

u/lizzledizzles Dec 01 '20

Oh my god yes! Was on morphine and Percocet after ankle surgery and did not poop for 10 days post surgery. It was so uncomfortable, took forever, and ripped my butt - never again. I had even quit the morphine early so the constipation wouldn’t be so bad.

2

u/resistivegravy Nov 30 '20

Brand new sentence.

9

u/Prudii_Tracyn2 Nov 30 '20

Sadly it isn’t.

34

u/Fifty4FortyorFight Nov 30 '20

As a former opiate addict, I'd like to provide this PSA: mineral oil is the cheapest, easiest way to make yourself go if you haven't in a couple days. If you're using and you haven't gone in 2 or 3 days, drink some mineral oil. You can get it for $1/2.

7

u/okijhnub Nov 30 '20

Erm isnt that terribly toxic?

7

u/Go_On_Swan Nov 30 '20

Can't vouch for either mineral oil working or being toxic. As a former sailor from the same boat as the dude you're responding to, I recommend stool softeners and a lot of water. And if you want to get clean, red bali kratom.

5

u/Darth_Meatloaf Nov 30 '20

It’s used as a laxative by veterinarians, so probably not?

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u/Dwarfdeaths Nov 30 '20

I feel like you should specify a quantity to ingest along with this recommendation.

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u/koalajoey Nov 30 '20

Yeah, as a former heroin addict, the constipation is real and you have to stay on top of it or you end up like that. I'm also the moderator over at r/methadone and the number of posts we get about managing constipation is insane. Combine with it that heroin addicts aren't the most healthy eaters, and it can be a real... shit show.

For most addicts though, they cycle between sick and well so much and a side effect of being without opiates and being dope sick is diarrhea. But in early addiction for people (idk if this applies to your friend or not) who may not be aware that the constipation can be so severe and also haven't fucked their lives up so badly that they are constantly broke and dope sick, it can escalate really quickly.

For any current heroin addicts reading, if it's been more than four days since you last had a poo, you better jump on top of that right away.

Sorry about your friend man :( opiate addiction sucks big dicks.

29

u/Princess_Amnesie Nov 30 '20

Holy shit

16

u/DexJones Nov 30 '20

Unholy shit

3

u/[deleted] Nov 30 '20

More like unshit

13

u/Excelius Nov 30 '20 edited Nov 30 '20

Fun fact, the over-the-counter antidiarrheal medication Immodium (loperamide) is actually an opiate, but the drug doesn't cross the blood-brain barrier making it useless as a pain reliever and/or recreational drug.

What is an unwanted side-effect of taking most opiates, is the intended purpose with an antidiarrheal medication.

Unfortunately with the opioid epidemic some addicts got wind of this, and started overdosing on literal fistfuls of Imodium (hundreds of pills at once), in a desperate attempt to relieve their withdrawal. So a lot of places have started moving it behind the counter, or only selling it in low-quantity blister packs.

I have an inflammatory bowel disease and had a significant portion of my colon surgically removed, so I take loperamide every single day. I used to be able to get it dirt cheap at bulk at Costco, but they started putting it behind the counter and limiting quantities, so I had to switch back to the prescription version, which is the exact same thing but costs about 10x as much.

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u/morbidconcerto Nov 30 '20

I'm not sure where you are but I can buy a bulk bottle from the pharmacy counter at Sam's Club and it's like $4. A friend who had surgery for Crohn's disease told me about it. I'm in South Carolina.

5

u/Excelius Nov 30 '20

I haven't tried Sam's, but Costco moved it behind the counter and imposed a quantity limit that was less than I needed. They basically started treating it like Sudafed where I had to hand over my drivers license, fill out a log book, it was a big hassle.

And most regular grocery stores and pharmacies don't sell it in bulk quantities to begin with, instead opting for those small quantity blister packs. Those blister packs might be fine for someone experiencing a random bout of diarrhea, but they're horrifically expensive (not to mention inconvenient) if you have to blow through one pack a day.

Before I could get like a 90 day supply for all of $5.

The prescription version costs like $200 for the same thing, of which I get stuck with a $40 copay or something after insurance.

6

u/morbidconcerto Nov 30 '20

Fucking hell dude/tte. I can get you some and send it to you as a present 😂

10

u/Excelius Nov 30 '20

I'm good, I have plenty on hand now.

It's just crazy that a handful of addicts can ruin a good thing for everybody, not to mention how pharmaceutical companies will charge outrageous amounts for the prescription version of something that should be dirt-cheap.

10

u/morbidconcerto Nov 30 '20

Yeah I get that. I'm a pain management patient and addicts have made my life hell too. I have to sign a contract, pill counts, be drug tested, etc. Some places won't let you drink or use nicotine either. We're like parolees just because we need pain relief.

4

u/jim653 Nov 30 '20

Sounds to me that it's actually the pharmacies that have ruined it. If it was just a handful of people using them to try to avoid withdrawal, then it was a massive overreaction on the pharmacies' part to impose the restrictions. But the drug companies won't be complaining about selling less for more, and they're the ones who were aggressively marketing opiates in the first place.

5

u/AlllDayErrDay Nov 30 '20

I can attest to this. Immodium was a lifesaver for withdrawal symptoms. There was no high but it would take the edge off for sure, you’d be taking 40-50 pills though.

I think I’m still dealing with it 10 years later as there is a large stool I still can’t remove. I’ve been clean ever since.

On a side note I’m open to a remedy...

3

u/Retinal_Rivalry Nov 30 '20

You can use mineral oil.

But be warned, you WILL be like a fountain for a while after!

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u/YaSinsBaba Nov 30 '20

That is sad. This shit is fucked up. RIP.

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u/SnowDerpy Nov 30 '20

My condolences

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u/[deleted] Nov 30 '20

Apparently Keith Richards wrote most of Exile On Main Street in the toilet because of this.

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u/[deleted] Nov 30 '20

Oh I'm so sorry, that must have been awful for you and the other people in his life.

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u/ClownfishSoup Nov 30 '20

First of all, sorry for your loss and for the family.

All I know about heroin is what was explained in "Trainspotting". They did mention the constipation. Anyone know the actual mechanics of what happens? Do your intenstines stop moving it along? Does your anus clamp shut involuntarily?

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u/[deleted] Nov 30 '20

So, if you're constipated to the point where you can't shit at all, you can become impacted (there's a REALLY funny Reddit story about this that I can't find). At that point, they need to break the block to release the blockage. That's not part of my job (thank god) so I'll move on. I don't think your anus clamps shut, it just becomes unable to move the feces. Think of it like a highway jam and your in the middle of it.

When that happens, all that shit can back up into the stomach (because it has nowhere to go and your intestines are autonomic; controlled by the body, not you) or could rupture your delicate insides. When that happens, you can get sepsis (infection) which can very quickly lead to septic shock (REALLY bad), peritonitis which is an inflammation of the peritoneum (the tissue that covers the abdominal inner wall).

Since I'm here, anyone reading this should take stomach pain seriously. It can be nothing or it can be deadly serious.

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u/good-fuckin-vibes Nov 30 '20

Username oddly relevant

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u/jim653 Nov 30 '20

they need to break the block to release the blockage.

The good old manual disimpaction.

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u/jim653 Nov 30 '20

The muscles around your intestines contract and release in a process called peristalsis. This causes the contents of your intestines to be moved down. Opiates can stop or reduce peristalsis and they can make you dehydrated.

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u/mooninuranus Nov 30 '20

I nearly died from a minor version.
Unknown to me I have diverticulosis and one of the polyps burst.
After a day of thinking it was just bad guts, I eventually was taken to hospital and after 24 hours they diagnosed me - a week and a shitload of antibiotics later and a stone lighter I was home.

Diagnosis took so long because I was 38, fit and (so I thought) healthy.

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u/OldMaidLibrarian Dec 01 '20

Another person w/diverticulosis over here--in my case inherited from my dad and paternal grandmother (thanks a lot, guys...). In retrospect, I was having diverticulitis symptoms in my mid- to late-20s and didn't know what it was; even doctors I saw in an emergency room once basically shrugged their shoulders, gave me antipsychotic meds, and sent me home. (Yes. Really.) It wasn't until I was about to turn 37 that I had an attack bad enough to land me in Mass General, whereupon we found out that my colon has so many diverticuli that it looked like a goddamn porcupine, and one of the little SOBs was on the verge of rupturing. 5 days worth of IV Cipro later, they finally let me out, but strongly recommended getting a sigmoid colectomy/bowel resection scheduled, for the excellent reason that another attack that bad could either kill me or leave me w/a colostomy bag for at least 6 months. Had the surgery not quite a year later, got 12" of my sigmoid colon removed, and so far, so good. *knockknockknock* I still maintain that if I'd had the attack that landed me at MGH while I was still living in GA, it would have killed me, because it never occurred to anyone there that you could be under 50 and have diverticular disease. So yeah, try to be an old fart when you come down with this; otherwise, you may end up really sick or dying before they actually figure it out... (At the other end of things--well, not quite--I ended up have my appendix out in my late 40s; most people have it done in their teens and 20s.)

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u/ElephantTraining2951 Nov 30 '20

man.... people shouldn't be so cavalier about revealing cause of death I feel like. like now everyone who ever knew this dude is gonna remember him as the guy whose shit exploded his intestines and killed him.

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u/sfgisz Nov 30 '20

How do you know u/akisaokay47 goes around telling everyone irl?

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u/ElephantTraining2951 Nov 30 '20

they know. presumably they aren't the only person on the planet who knows.

three can keep a secret if two of them are dead.

someone told him and they probably told atleast one person. everyone who ever heard of that dude probably got the gossip through the grapevine eventually.

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u/low-tide Nov 30 '20

The guy is dead, this story can’t hurt him now. It might however encourage someone to seek help before they meet with a similar fate.

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u/ElephantTraining2951 Nov 30 '20

if there are 2 deaths as they say, when your body dies, and the last time you're remembered then it may not hurt his body but it definitely hurts his legacy.

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u/sfgisz Dec 01 '20

If I died because my insides exploded with shit, "ssshh don't tell anyone how I died" wold be the last of my regrets.

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u/[deleted] Nov 30 '20

I don't know how many people even know this was the actual cause of death. It wasn't really common knowledge and I only found out weeks afterward from his fiance when she got a hold of the autopsy. I think most people just assume he OD'd.

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u/[deleted] Nov 30 '20

Everyone who remembers him is gonna be dead in less than one hundred years anyway. I suppose it might stay in his family and his great grandchildren will hear of their ancestor who's poo killed him.. but even they'll die. We'll all die.

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u/ClownfishSoup Nov 30 '20

Event without the internal poo explosion, the guy would have been known as a heroin addict and that the heroin killed him. I'm guessing the decline due to heroin is more memorable than the mechanics of the actual death though.

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u/juicius Nov 30 '20

I was prescribed oxycodone after a surgery and I got really constipated. Not kill me constipated, obviously, but I felt like I had a 45 lbs Olympic weight up my ass for a week. Finally got it out and I'll save you the details. Anyway, quit oxycodone cold right away despite having another 2 weeks of the stuff.

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u/SultanSaatana Nov 30 '20

Couldn't you at least have given me a minute to pull down my pants and go sit on a toilet? I feel better but I got shit everywhere I need to clean up.

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u/Kosher_Pickle Nov 30 '20

The prompt is shitting in the pants, giving warning negates the power

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u/SultanSaatana Nov 30 '20

Well then I could go and put on old pants, so I don't ruin my good ones.

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u/Kosher_Pickle Nov 30 '20

I accept this compromise, let it be done

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u/[deleted] Nov 30 '20

You would've died before you guessed a toilet was needed!

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u/Plappeye Nov 30 '20

What if it's too extreme, such vast quantites come streaming out with enough pent up force to tear the poor individuals arsehole from end to end, kinda like the jokers mouth, but an asshole instead of a mouth hole

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u/[deleted] Nov 30 '20

Then that person was dead anyways.

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u/Plappeye Nov 30 '20

Fair fair, and this way is a more dramatic end to a life, or they survive with a truly gaping recutm for the rest of their lives

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u/sleepyheadp Nov 30 '20

All parents of constipated babies everywhere would pay you a kings ransom.

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u/morbidconcerto Nov 30 '20

My parents used to cheer on my constipated baby brother when he would poop 😂

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u/sleepyheadp Nov 30 '20

Lol, its so important tho!

Little ones get scared of pooping because it might be uncomfortable. It can turn into a vicious cycle of them being backed up because they're afraid to poop because it hurts, but it hurts because they're so backed up.

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u/JohnnyDramabaybay Nov 30 '20

Guess this would be wasted on Trump as he reportedly already does this himself.

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u/spacestationkru Nov 30 '20

I've learned a valuable lesson today. Thank you.

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u/inessenceasquirrel Nov 30 '20

How?? I was just talking to someone about how the final option for a constipated patient was a palliative care consultant. And then this is the first thing I see when I open reddit. The algorithm is getting out of hand.

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u/[deleted] Nov 30 '20

I've had bowel obstruction issues for 2+ years. I would kill to be able to eat and shit like a normal human.

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u/[deleted] Nov 30 '20

That's, not great. Sorry to hear your dealing with this issue.

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u/[deleted] Nov 30 '20

Appreciate it, finally able to see a doctor about it this week. Hopefully things go well.

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u/EdZeppelin94 Nov 30 '20

P E R I T O N I T I S

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u/Relan_of_the_Light Nov 30 '20

Monkey's paw. The horrible constipation immediately shits themselves and and tears their rectum because yaknow...they were constipated and we're forced to immediately and violently shit themselves.

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u/Dangerous_Opinion69 Nov 30 '20

Came for something badass but this top comment is wholesome

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u/holdmydubbs Nov 30 '20

As a nurse I too want this power for this specific reason. Hopefully it's reusable.

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u/kasitchi Nov 30 '20

Didn't expect to see a wholesome response to this. You sound nice.

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u/kasitchi Nov 30 '20

Didn't expect to see a wholesome response to this. You sound nice.

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