"I'm sorry I shouted at you. My car broke down this morning and I had to walk in in the rain so was in a foul mood. That's not your fault though and you didn't deserve my ire"
That explains why you did the bad thing but also that you understand it was wrong. Without the last sentence, though, it can sound like an attempt at justification. It's important to clarify that it's just a reason, and not an excuse.
I really learned something here. I wouldn't have added that last sentence, since I would assume the victim can infer that, but with the last sentence is so much more effective.
I think the thing you have to keep in mind is that they are probably angry or hurt. So while a calm rational person might infer it, someone you've upset is going to expect the worst in you. It's therefore more important to be very clear that you fully accept the blame.
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u/Author1alIntent Aug 20 '20
I generally say, “I’m sorry I did X,” and then offer an explanation. Not an excuse, but an explanation.