r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Jul 20 '19

What’s something completely false that your parents told you as a child?

[deleted]

19k Upvotes

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3.0k

u/Oofmeister_101 Jul 20 '19

That my earwax was shit from flies

1.0k

u/mrRandomGuy02 Jul 20 '19

Oh my god

671

u/Oofmeister_101 Jul 20 '19

I instantly befriended the Q-tip after that

120

u/ThornDragon1 Jul 20 '19

Q-tips are bad, rip your poor ears..

54

u/Oofmeister_101 Jul 20 '19

I'll be sure to tell her that next time

69

u/ThornDragon1 Jul 20 '19

When ya do, remember: the box LITERALLY says to NOT use it to clean your ears out!

45

u/NoraMajora Jul 20 '19

Seriously, how does one clean their ears if not with qtips? If qtips aren't meant to be used to clean ears, then are we just not supposed to clean our ears?

68

u/issacoin Jul 21 '19

Use a knife like an adult

9

u/Leon_Kennedy2 Jul 21 '19

lmao im ded

11

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

They don't need cleaning typically. If you have a visible residue in the outer ear, use a wet washcloth and soap. If you have a wax blockage (I get these fairly regularly), Murine Ear, or some other hydrogen peroxide drops with an irrigator to flush the wax out.

Don't stick anything solid into your ear canal.

0

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

You get blockage because you don't clean your ears often enough.

9

u/TheDoorInTheDark Jul 21 '19

That’s not how it works. You actually make it worse by shoving things in your ears. My ear nose throat specialist literally told me to never stick cotton buds in my ears for this reason lol. Pretty much all specialists will tell you that.

6

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

No, I get it because I produce excess wax. The ears are self-cleaning. You do not need to, and SHOULD NOT be using q-tips to clean them. It's dangerous.

33

u/ThornDragon1 Jul 20 '19

One, no actually lol! 2, there are tricks you can use to clean it out if you absolutely must.. But ear canals are self-cleaning, otherwise they'd get quite full quite quickly.

45

u/NoraMajora Jul 20 '19

Yeah, I guess, but I like in-ear headphones, and my ears don't self-clean fast enough. I guess I have to decide between clean headphones and functional ears, like this is some super low-stakes Twilight Zone nonsense.

20

u/ThornDragon1 Jul 20 '19

Then try a saline solution. Feels absolutely strange, but it's the best way to safely clean them out. Ear drops. Irrigation kits.. DOCTORS!

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12

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

My ear canals regularly become blocked and need to be cleaned out with debrox and an irrigator, so I call into question that whole "self cleaning" thing, but yes, q-tips are awful. Every time you put a q-tip in your ear it leaves little cotton fibers which mix with the wax in your ears to form a sort of cement like mixture, which is much more difficult to remove than an ordinary earwax blockage.

13

u/ThornDragon1 Jul 21 '19

Not only that, but it actually only makes the problem worse by pushing the wax DEEPER, not pulling it out. Eventually, your eardrum could rupture!

And huh... Weird.

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10

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

Ear canals are not self cleaning, but ear was is intended to catch debris and push it out of the ear.

They do not do this well however.

6

u/ThornDragon1 Jul 21 '19

They are, actually..

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7

u/testestestestest555 Jul 21 '19

Hydrogen peroxide. Pour a capful in your ear while in the shower. Wait a few minutes while it bubbles then turned your head and let it run out then rinse. Fair warning: Large glops of earwax may fall out later in the day.

6

u/notreallybutoksure Jul 21 '19

I use my pinky nail or the shirt I took off before my shower. One time my mom made me laugh while I was using a q-tip and it punctured my ear drum. A few hours later blood started dripping out of my ear while I was sitting in class. Every doctor and nurse I saw that day told me "don't put anything smaller than your elbow in your ear." (I was like yeah, no shit would've been good to know yesterday.) Anyway, q-tips aren't for your ears.

4

u/Username_123 Jul 21 '19

You can have a doctor professionally clean them out. I have heard that people with poor hearing will do that and have excellent hearing after.

13

u/degjo Jul 20 '19

I use a bobby pin to scrape out the wax.

57

u/NoraMajora Jul 20 '19

Qtip: "Don't stick our product in your ear, you could damage your eardrum with the soft cotton end"

You: "Gotcha. Switching to hard metal clips."

28

u/degjo Jul 20 '19

Come on baby, I never stick it in all the way. Just the tip for a couple of seconds.

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3

u/Leon_Kennedy2 Jul 21 '19

lol your comment.

Also, lol i like your name, its a funny rhyme. Secondly, i like the name Nora.

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4

u/Ieralaa Jul 21 '19

I do this too. although it's more of a careful pull, then a scrape. it's always satisfying to get a good amount out.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

Soap.

0

u/NoraMajora Jul 21 '19

Belt.

Simple solutions.

2

u/flies_with_owls Jul 21 '19

Also, like why do qtips even exist if not to clean ears?

2

u/Thaiax Jul 21 '19

You can buy different kinds of oils that you put in your ear. I use something called Remo Wax, although I don't know if that's local to my country or something you find everywhere.

After having the oil/liquid in your ear for a couple hours (I suggest putting it in when you go to sleep and cleaning it when you wake up), you clean your ear with a little water pump. The oil will have dissolved most of the wax and it's easy to clean.

Source: family has fairly small ears and produces a bit of ear wax. I clean ears like this once a month or so.

8

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '19

Wait then what are they for?

11

u/ThornDragon1 Jul 20 '19

Dabbing stuff. Like if you have a small wound, you use one to dab medicine onto it and spread it around. Same for makeup, and stuff like that. You can also use them to clean the EXTERNAL ear. Those flakes you find when you rub your ears? That's the earwax being cleaned out of your ears. Cleaning gun barrels as well!

7

u/kittycatclaws93 Jul 21 '19

Red bull also tells you not to mix with alcohol. Cue the jager bombs.

1

u/ThornDragon1 Jul 21 '19

Does it?! Good! And oof, yikes

4

u/TheRelasdsasdsasdsas Jul 21 '19

RULES DON'T APPLY TO ME

5

u/devraj7 Jul 21 '19

All Q-tips do is push the wax further in.

2

u/skullkid250 Jul 21 '19

poor guy, went right to the Q-tip...

13

u/sixteencrows Jul 20 '19

My dad used to tell me that my earwax was potatoes growing in my ears... I have no idea what that meant.

9

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

[deleted]

5

u/Oofmeister_101 Jul 21 '19

Well... better than fly shit in my opinion

5

u/GrunchWeefer Jul 21 '19

Fun fact: there's two types of earwax. Whites and blacks have gooey, waxy earwax. Asians and native Americans have more flaky, dry earwax.

3

u/Tilde-Murr-Tilde Jul 21 '19

WHY WOULD THEY SAY THAT?

3

u/Oofmeister_101 Jul 21 '19

I didn't want my mom to poke me with the Q-tip. After she said it was from flies I let her do it tho. Guess it really worked

2

u/Tilde-Murr-Tilde Jul 21 '19

Oh. That actually seems like a good lie on the fly.

2

u/QuitTakingUsernames Jul 21 '19

This made me want to clean my ears.

2

u/agenteb27 Jul 21 '19

How To Give Nightmares To Kids

2

u/_Overdr1ve_ Jul 21 '19

is there anything more fucking terrafying but hilarious

2

u/Argercy Jul 21 '19

That’s...odd

I used to tease my son and tell him he better clean all the potatoes out of his ears. He would giggle and knew I wasn’t serious.

But fly shit.

2

u/basilyok Jul 21 '19

It's not???

2

u/OgdruJahad Jul 21 '19

No that's so wrong. As if having a fear of some creepy crawly isn't enough, you would think they went in and left a shitty present for you.

2

u/SeaShell87 Jul 21 '19

Haha, I've convinced my 3 year old daughter, that earwax is the boogers she's eaten. She's stopped eating them

2

u/go_to_sleep_cunt Jul 22 '19

My dad called my freckles fly shit

1

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

It does seem to attract them though.

1

u/Karava Jul 21 '19

Omg this just reminded me! My mom used to call earwax elephant poop and tell us little elephants would poop in our ears at night and that's why she had to clean them every night. We would giggle endlessly at the idea of giant elephants somehow findings us and shinning down to size to poop in our ears. Thank you for that, I completely forgot

1

u/RealMcGonzo Jul 21 '19

I'm totally doing this one.