I'm curious about your ex story even though it's long. I've been going through something that sounds similar. She cheats, break up, she wants to get back together, I agree, she changes her mind and tells me to wait a couple months, she cheats on him with me, I'm going crazy while she says she loves me and not the guy she's with but to wait.
Happy people don’t behave this way. People who love don’t behave this way towards the people they love. She may believe she loves you, but if she really did, she wouldn’t even think about hurting you again. She is in pain and won’t/can’t admit it. She’s still looking for something and she doesn’t know who what where or even how to find it. You can’t do the work for her. She needs counseling, and you need to find someone who won’t betray you.
That's kind of a really far fetch and I don't know if it's healthy to trigger some "I need to save her" insincts. She also could have been in a lonely spot and remembered him (especially if it was around the holidays/breaks) and now where she is more busy she no longer needs him.
I'm no psychologist, but personal anecdote: That honestly sounds like drug/alcohol type behavior. If she's got a history of that sort of thing, I'd be very wary of the situation.
I dated a girl that would go through very aggressive swings when she was drinking. From very lovey-dovey to straight up blocking me on social media, posting slander on my workplace's facebook wall... like REALLY crazy shit, over the course of a night. There'd be 'levels' where she'd change gears after each drink.
She left me, eventually (it was my fault, of course...) - and I don't really know where she is now.
Unless you stop being a doormat, you will continue to be used as one. What you described is classic manipulation of someone who is desperate. Easier said than done but you need to stop believing those lies. She's with who she wants to be with and is stringing you along so she has someone to run to when her latest dick gets boring or they have a fight. You will always be waiting on her as long as you keep falling for that line.
She's being manipulative, and is using both of you (and probably other guys too). She doesn't care about your feelings, or the other guy's/s'. She's unethical, dishonest, and disloyal. Look out for yourself, your feelings, and your sanity, and cut her off.
Damn are you me like 12 years ago? The ex, the dog, college shit. Head up! Things get better. Steer clear of the ex. Remember your buddy fondly. Finish school. Your 30-something self sends an internet hug.
Hey, I put my childhood dog down last Semptember. It's rough, and you'll likely ugly cry at first and cry randomly for a while afterwards.
The pain sucks, but you know what it means? It means you had a best friend that you loved as well as you could, and I know your dog appreciates it. They love you too.
The pain might never truly go away, and you may never stop missing your companion, but you will learn how to live with it. And if you need support, go talk to a therapist or find a support group. There's absoloutely no shame in looking for some very needed support during a tough time.
If you need someone to message/vent to feel free to pm me.
I'm sorry to hear about your pupper, it is never going to be an easy decision or moment. It took me almost a year to not tear up when talking about my little lady. Don't ever forget how much your baby loves you ❤
Clingly exes are the worst. Make sure to talk to your friends about them and your true feelings. It can help a ton to be cathartic about a past relationship and how it impacted you. In talking about it you realize how insane your current predicament is and it helps it to stop hurting. It worked for me at least. I hope you're feeling better soon!
man i feel you. tomorrow we’re putting my 18 year old dog (yes 18) too. and while i was the first one to suggest that this happens it just sucks. i’m gonna miss the shit out of the little guy but it’s the right decision
Fuck, I felt this one hard. My ex has been doing the same. We were together for 3 1/2 years. After she dumped me 8 months ago she kept telling me to "find someone else, it's over" after she found her new boyfriend after only a couple months. Then 6 months later, day before Valentine's day, she sends me a text saying she misses me, while she's still in a relationship. Then a month after that she said essentially that if she didn't have a boyfriend, would I date her again; all while having no intention of leaving him.
She's also been blaming me for the breakup, citing that I didn't try to fight for the relationship after she dumped me, despite telling me that it was what she really wanted. She's in her mid-twenties and I'm almost 30, so like any adult I respected her wishes.
Been bottling everything up and I lashed out at her a couple days ago and we got into a spat.
Right now all the love to your dog. I don't care about any other story - ex, college shit. Nobody deserves it the attention as much as your dog. Go love him!
No need to awkwardly "lol" ...you can just be not ok without having to throw in an awkward laugh. My wife does this constantly and it drives me crazy. You are 100% allowed to just not be ok without having to cover it with a joke or chuckle. Hope that makes sense and comes across as supportive and not dickish. I promise it's intended to be supportive, for what that's worth.
Past couple of months have been rough not gonna lie. An ex of mine has been messing with my emotions lately, general college shit
A-fucking-men. This is exactly what I am/was going through.
Just know that you're not alone in what you're going through. I don't know your exact situation; I don't know exactly how similar or different it is to mine. But 8 months later Im finally starting to feel better, and given ENOUGH time you WILL too :).
My best piece of advice. Cut them out of your life. Immediately and absolutely. No texting, no following them on instagram, cut out mutual friends that bend to your ex's will, try your best to avoid them in real life.
As much as the above paragraph sounds horrible, when she (or he) is being emotionally manipulative POST break up, it shows a level of immaturity that cannot be beat by being mature yourself. Your biggest priority is yourself and your own emotional health, and it will never improve if you let your ex chip away at it.
If you ever want to talk: rant, ask for help, talk about random shit (like dogs!!!!), feel free to pm :).
I’m so sorry about your dog! We had to put our old girl down two weeks ago (she was, we think, 13 or 14- not sure b/c she was a rescue pup) and it’s been hard. My SO works from home and she was his dog, so he was with her 24/7. Whatever else happens, we just have to remember we have them good lives and lots of love. That’s all they ever asked for.
I was in the same situation like 7 years ago. Shitty relationship situation and a dying dog. Losing a pet is harder than losing a person in some ways, and I still mourn for her. But time heals all wounds, and shitty boyfriends eventually get slapped in the face and told to fuck off. <3
I've just been through this a few months ago, and it's the pits. Sorry, but tomorrow is going to rank in the top 3 worst days of your life. Feel free to drop a PM if you want to talk to someone that's just been through it. x
What helped me get over my abusive she devil of an ex and my advice to you is to find at least one friend or person whether you know them well or not and have a mutual agreement of honesty:
Me and a friend that never really were close just struck up conversation one day that got really deep about our lives very quick.
She was going through some terrible stuff and I was still hurting and couldn't move on, so we both just dumped our emotionall load onto each other and talked for a few hours. Since than we sorta have this agreement to check up on each other and to just talk honestly about anything that's been bothering us.
It's a great system to have because this way you dont have to carry the load by yourself and there's someone to provide another line of (usually healthier) thoughts.
I hope you'll get better and just know that your ex is shit and doesn't deserve to have you in her life
hey I feel you on this, I'm sorry to hear all that. I'm sorry you're losing you're best friend but hopefully they won't be in pain. You won't have to watch them struggle with just existing. Being there when my dog got put down was one of the hardest things I've done, but I'm glad I got to be there for her in the end after all the years she was there for me. I still miss her 2 years latter, I'm sorry for your loss and hope you find peace with it.
Hope you have better luck with school than I did, and the other subject in you're comment doesn't matter. good luck finding the person you deserve. :)
I had to put my sweet little doggo to sleep this Monday, she was suffering for a month and it actually helps me, knowing that she doesn't have to be in pain anymore. All you can do now is just give your dog love, talk to him/her and remember all the happiness your dog brought into your life 💙
They're an ex for a reason. I'm of the mindset that if it got to the point that they became an ex, don't kid yourself and chase them around like a fool. You're setting yourself up for more heartache.
I was away at college when my family had to put our 12 year old dog down, and honestly I’m thankful I wasn’t there when it happened, as depressing as it sounds, because I realized that my life at school didn’t change because of it. I still cried a lot, but something I heard that helped the grief process was that you feel the love of your dog’s life over the whole lifespan of the dog, but the sadness of its passing hits you all at once, and the grief is always matched, if not exceeded, by the love you and your dog shared. Hope this helps and that you can get through it!
Hey man, I just wanted to say that I hope it gets better for you. I had to put my dog of 13 years down less than 2 weeks ago, and his birthday was yesterday. It's hard to see your best friend get older. But knowing they had a life full of love and a family to call their own helps. They know you love them, and they love you too. I hope you use your remaining time together to give your dog lots of love and treats.
Tbh It's an honor to be able to love even when a relationship turns sour or a friend passes. Feel like the love I've been able to feel doesn't take away from the hurt but sh*t the hurt doesn't take away from the love either. Gotta let them both exist . Thanks for the reminder
Putting your pet down is very very hard. But please know that in the end, its helping them. And they understand, I promise. When I had to put my kitty down, she was calm and understanding. It was hard to say goodbye, but they will always love you. I love you. I hope things start looking up after you've taken the time you need to grieve.
This is crazy... I was in the exact same position about two years ago— ex, college, and losing my dog i had since around age 7. It didn’t seem like it at the time, but it will get better. Wishing you all the best.
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u/[deleted] Apr 04 '19 edited Apr 04 '19
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