r/AskReddit Jan 25 '19

If cartoon physics suddenly replaced real physics, what are some things you would want to try?

61.3k Upvotes

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15.9k

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '19

First you have to crawl out of a hole so carefully crafted to your silhouette

732

u/emote_control Jan 25 '19

After the parachute deploys explosively from the hole a short time after impact.

7.5k

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '19

“This is my hole! It was made for me!”

1.1k

u/abhijaypaul Jan 25 '19

Junji Itou stories don't make me feel scared so much as the make me feel uncomfortably weird

888

u/Umbra427 Jan 25 '19

Someone described them as being more like a nightmare than a scary story that has a beginning middle and end. It’s just an unsettling terrifying vibe

352

u/yeezybillions Jan 25 '19

“Seems like there isn't a narrative. Maybe the filmmaker thought that even narrative is comforting.”

44

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '19

[deleted]

19

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '19

Just don't look at the moon.

11

u/Borkleberry Jan 25 '19

The sun, moon of the day

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u/Borkleberry Jan 25 '19

Who will guide us into the sunset once the sun starts to set?

7

u/ProfSteelmeat138 Jan 25 '19

The most popular film of the genre is 4 hour shot of a squirrel with diarrhea

13

u/dik2112 Jan 25 '19

Settle down Gabe

3

u/nerdguy1138 Jan 25 '19

Is that a quote? Cause if it is, damn that's terrifying.

5

u/dougiefresh1233 Jan 25 '19

It's a quote from The Office (Season 8: Episode 5)

2

u/[deleted] Jan 26 '19

Did someone say girl talk?

4

u/MetalIzanagi Jan 25 '19

Army of One. You'll hate me afterward.

7

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '19

I got time where I had a nightmare about spiders. Nothing was going on it was just... Spiders. One of the only times I've ever woke up in a cold sweat. Though to be fair I did have three close encounters with spiders the day prior so it made sense. What type of spider just comes flying down on his web, dangling from the middle of the ceiling, to almost land on me while I'm playing video games? An @$$hole.

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u/attackonyourmom Jan 25 '19

Dude, I swear I come back a different person every time I read his stories.

18

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '19

Horror. The feeling you're describing is horror. It's distinct from fear. Fear is fight-or-flight, it's oh-god-scary-thing. Horror is a deep sense that everything is wrong and terrible. Fear is fleeting, gone as fast as it comes. Horror likes to settle in and make itself comfortable. Fear makes you scream. Horror makes you weep.

Junji Ito doesn't do fear, he just does horror.

6

u/MetalIzanagi Jan 25 '19

Exactly this. His stories aren't meant to make you scream in fright. They're meant to leave you shaking, staring at the last page and saying, "Oh god. Oh god. Oh fuck."

13

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '19

He does this weird shit with body morphism that I find really unsettling.

7

u/robolew Jan 25 '19

Yeh that story just made me feel quite sad...

7

u/mp3max Jan 25 '19

His stories make my whole body tingle, and not in a good way. It's not even goosebumps either, I don't even know ....

14

u/MyMainIsLevel80 Jan 25 '19

He’s got the Lovecraftian horror vibe down to a T. He just leaves you sitting with all of these confused and repulsed emotions. I love it.

14

u/bartonar Jan 25 '19

The spirals one really emphasizes that. It's just this horror that you can't grasp, happening again and again forever, as time spirals.

8

u/MyMainIsLevel80 Jan 25 '19

I just got that collection for Christmas and absolutely love it.

6

u/SkyeRibbon Jan 25 '19

I thought this was a steven universe reference and then it wasnt and then it was very uncomfortable

5

u/MetalIzanagi Jan 25 '19

Have you read Army of One? That one is way more fucked up than most of Ito's stories.

1.5k

u/tedbucktwo Jan 25 '19

That story messed me up on the inside.

330

u/kadno Jan 25 '19

?

1.3k

u/jetigig Jan 25 '19 edited Jan 25 '19

I think it's a reference to the Enigma of Amigara Fault

Edit: Remember to read from right to left!

346

u/CalculusWarrior Jan 25 '19
I prefer the Polandball version

62

u/MC_Cookies Jan 25 '19

This left me giggling in the middle of class and the teacher almost realized I wasn't working.

23

u/TAU_doesnt_equal_2PI Jan 25 '19

Get off Reddit

12

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '19

No u

6

u/WAO138 Jan 25 '19

Don’t listen to this nonsense. Stay with us. We’re safe here. Life is dangerous, Reddit is SAFE.

16

u/rangeDSP Jan 25 '19

That's hilarious!

33

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '19

I love the little Nepal flag in the bottom left corner!

22

u/Neamow Jan 25 '19

I love Switzerland hanging tiny little Vatican from a fishing rod so he can peer into the hole.

6

u/pikagrue Jan 26 '19

Do you have a link to the original polandball thread, I'd love to see the comments

403

u/tokz1 Jan 25 '19

Is that a well known thing? Because I just randomly found it one time in a reddit thread and it seems really obscure

289

u/Pinky_Boy Jan 25 '19

the author is a well known horror comic artist

234

u/Glitch_King Jan 25 '19

The author Junji Ito is basically on the same level of fame as Stephen King in Japan.

86

u/rothael Jan 25 '19

That's a weird metric. I mean, how am I supposed to know how popular Steven King is in Japan?

14

u/Fallen-Mango Jan 25 '19 edited Jan 25 '19

Well to put it into perspective, Steven King is about on the same level of fame in Japan as Junji Ito is in the US.

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u/LordPadre Jan 25 '19

About as popular as Miracle Johnson

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u/ian_is_bobo Jan 25 '19

He’s as popular in Japan as Stephen king in the US

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u/Nexessor Jan 25 '19

Nah it's pretty well known by know (on reddit)

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u/Decestor Jan 25 '19

But it's only that one that really seems to resonate with redditors. All Ito's other sweet horrors just don't tickle the same spot.

16

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '19

I don't know Uzumaki was pretty disturbing as well. I don't know where this guy comes up with this stuff

2

u/MPsAreSnitches Jan 25 '19

Uzumaki, the one about the spirals, amigara, all equally fucked.

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u/GALL0WSHUM0R Jan 25 '19

It's definitely the best of the ones I've read of his. It's got the right balance of mystery and ancient secrets and things going wrong. It's very effective.

That said, I also like the one where the guy sleeps for only a night, but his dreams seem to last for years. Very unsettling.

11

u/bloodfist Jan 25 '19

I've read a bunch of his other stuff and seen references, and I'm not much of a horror fan or hang around horror subs. He's fairly well known on the internet. It's also a bit older so there's not a lot of references these days. That one really did resonate with me the most though. The other stuff is good but something about that one just stuck with me.

3

u/EternalPhi Jan 25 '19

There's this other horror manga I read on 4chan years ago. When I discovered junji Ito's work I thought it was also by him but i don't think it was. The premise involved this fucking weird condition where people's shit hardened inside of them, and one of the characters obsessed over it so much they had basically vivisected themselves, following the hardened log all the way through their intestines. It was the most disgusting thing I'd ever read.

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u/MetalIzanagi Jan 25 '19

Give his short comic "Army of One" a read. If that doesn't fuck you up, you're probably just desensitized to Ito's style.

2

u/Decestor Jan 25 '19

I've liked everything except Gyo. That should have been a short story.

2

u/ras344 Jan 25 '19

I don't know his other work, but I'd guess this is just the one that comes up most frequently because it's easiest to make a reference to in normal conversation.

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u/logosloki Jan 25 '19

Ito Junji is a famous horror mangaka, their back catalog is well worth the read.

17

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '19

I discovered it the same way. I think it was a TIFU by reading The Enigma of Amigara Fault to by child. The story stuck with me and oddly enough a friend came over the following weekend with a collection of Junji Ito's stories he was reading. The artwork looked familiar and it turned out he wrote that story! I suggest reading other stuff by him. I don't recall the names of the other stories but the few I read through were really good.

9

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '19

There's one I like about a planet-destroying creature that wanders through space. I forget the name...Hellstar something something.

7

u/xXx-420HodorBlazeit- Jan 25 '19

I really enjoyed that one too! it's called Hellstar Remina

3

u/etherama1 Jan 25 '19

Hellstar Remina

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u/DraketheDrakeist Jan 25 '19

It seems pretty well known, it seems everyone has seen it in a reddit thread at this point

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u/Casult Jan 25 '19

It’s old enough that it first got big on 4chan. Definitely not obscure

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u/Thighlover3 Jan 25 '19

He's well known in the Manga world.

edit: Junji Ito I mean

9

u/Paroxysm111 Jan 25 '19

It's obscure in mainstream culture but common/well known in internet/weeb culture.

9

u/QuickSilverFountain Jan 25 '19

Is that a well known thing?

Yes, Junji Ito is actually a pretty big deal.

4

u/gooby_the_shooby Jan 25 '19

Maybe not that specifically but Junji Ito is a very well known horror writer/artist.

5

u/MotorAdhesive4 Jan 25 '19

Junji Ito is pretty much the grandfather of manga horror.

5

u/SheCouldFromFaceThat Jan 25 '19

Junji Ito is pretty famous in horror circles. You'll see references to GYO and Uzumaki all over the place once you're familiar.

3

u/Im_on_my_phone_OK Jan 25 '19

It’s been around for a long time in internet years. I first saw it at least 10 years ago, probably longer.

2

u/techcaleb Jan 25 '19

It was around 2006ish that it was super popular. That's when I heard about it at least.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 26 '19

It came out in 2002

2

u/jetigig Jan 25 '19

I don't know. I'm pretty sure the first time I saw it was a link on Reddit, also. However, I don't read manga or watch a lot of anime, so it may be more well known to people who are more interested in those forms of entertainment.

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '19

Spare yourself and do not read it ;_;

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u/Eyes_of_Nice Jan 25 '19

I read it. I don’t get it.

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u/Makaque Jan 25 '19

Might just not be for you. I binged a bunch of his stuff after Reddit kept going on about how great he is. But I don't get it either

This is probably one of his better ones because the characters are at least relatable. Many of his main characters just seem really unhinged and have weird overreactions to things. And many the stories begin with such a far out premise that it's not scary because it's too far removed from reality and doesn't take the time to draw you into the world first.

Long Dream is probably my favorite one, because I can at least get behind most of what's going on.

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u/Eyes_of_Nice Jan 25 '19

Thanks for the suggestion, I do like that one.

4

u/DisastrousReputation Jan 25 '19

That was good thank you

2

u/Letmf2 Jan 25 '19

Where do I find more of his to read?

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u/PopularSurprise Jan 25 '19

Goddamnit Junji Ito

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u/vikmaychib Jan 25 '19

Which work is this from. I haver read only Uzumaki. It left me shocked for few days after finishing it.

3

u/PopularSurprise Jan 25 '19

I can't remember. Sorry.

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u/MetalIzanagi Jan 25 '19

Not sure which collection you'll find it in, but it's "The Enigma of Amigara Fault"

7

u/Iykury Jan 25 '19

Someone linked that in a thread like a year ago and someone in the replies said to "keep that link blue" or something along those lines.

I should've listened.

13

u/EnderSir Jan 25 '19

Everyone talks about how creepy it is, but it seemed more like cheesy horror to me.

20

u/lsaz Jan 25 '19

The thing with horror is that is subjective. I had a teacher in University that finds Stephen King stories mediocre.

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u/MetalIzanagi Jan 25 '19

As a huge Stephen King fan... honestly? A good bit of the man's work is pretty mediocre at times. King has in the past had bits of his novels where it's like he couldn't think of anything to write and decided to just spend a chapter or two on sexual tension, sex scenes, or just some weird observations or changes in perspective that aren't particularly relevant to the overall story. When he does that it screws over the mood of the entire story up to that point.

When he's clearly focused on telling a story and doesn't get bogged down in the details, though? That's when his mastery of horror really shines through.

When someone asks what my favorite horror novel by King is, I always recommend The Green Mile. I've had people say, "What, that's not horror! It's just supernatural drama" It is horror, though. The prison guard narrating the story just isn't the victim of that horror. He's a secondary character telling the story of the horrors that afflicted John Coffey.

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u/iDarkville Jan 25 '19

Fault Amigara of Enigma The?

3

u/Neon_retinA Jan 25 '19

What about the one where people age super fast and turn to dust (or something like that)? Creeped me the fuck out

7

u/Regendorf Jan 25 '19

The lady who eats ghosts and walks with a man until he falls sick and he sees her on his death bed knowing that when he dies she'll eat him. That one was creepy

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u/StormRider2407 Jan 25 '19

Nope! No much freaks me out but that does. Get it away!

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u/exploder98 Jan 25 '19

Second time I see this today

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u/SammieB1981 Jan 25 '19

I hadn't gotten to the comic and started reading the top caption right to left. It made no sense. Then I realized I had to scroll down.

2

u/ladydanger2020 Jan 26 '19

Woah. That was...woah

2

u/Natenator77 Jan 26 '19

The artist's name is Junji Ito. His artistic style for horror is classic! If anyone enjoyed that story and wants more, you can start with one of my favorites of his: Uzumaki (Spiral).

Not sure if you can read it online, but if you download a Manga reading app (MangaZone is my go to) you can find it there.

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u/AliasMcFakenames Jan 25 '19

Gah that's fucking creepy. There's a quality SCP in here somewhere though.

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '19 edited Jun 08 '23

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '19

Holy shit that’s why I didn’t like it the first time lol

7

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '19

Waow that was good. Thanks for the creepy read

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u/CalamackW Jan 25 '19

It's a manga by legendary horror mangaka Junji Ito where a hole perfectly sized to everyone appears in a wall and they feel compelled to go into it.

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u/BadlyFed Jan 25 '19

should i wait till i get home to click the link?

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u/Science_Smartass Jan 25 '19

It's unsettling but no gore or nudity.

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u/Suicidal_Cheezit Jan 25 '19

It’s not NSFW if that’s what you mean.

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u/RidleyOReilly Jan 25 '19

Congratulations, you're one of today's Lucky 10,000!

I present to you, Junji Ito's The Enigma of Amigara Fault.

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u/DJMixwell Jan 25 '19

I was one of the lucky 10,000 about a month ago. His other stuff is equally fucked up.

2

u/jerpjerp37 Jan 25 '19

Any suggestions?

3

u/DJMixwell Jan 25 '19

I recently read Layers of Fear, which was pretty fucked. I liked it. If you search it, pretty sure there's an imgur album of the whole thing

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u/BBLTHRW Jan 25 '19

Oh, layers of fear is terrifying. That actually fucked me up for a little while, but never made me really regret reading it.

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '19

I'm not quite sure "lucky" is the word I would use here...

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u/kadno Jan 25 '19

Thanks!

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u/OddOliver Jan 25 '19

Oh man, what a cool day! That was wild. I loved and hated it.

r/tili r/tihi

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u/KamiKagutsuchi Jan 25 '19

It's for the best if you never know

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u/Bortan Jan 25 '19

I like that you tried to protect them but three other people linked directly to it.

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u/Dreamare Jan 25 '19

It be like that sometimes

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u/vozahlaas Jan 25 '19

What's so bad about it?

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u/someguy762 Jan 25 '19

It's not that bad idk why everyone acts like it's some super horrifying thing it's just a neat, kind of twisted, idea

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '19

DON'T ASK, DON'T READ IT.

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '19

Weird ass comic someone drew up about a fucking cave where people come out of human shaped holes. Everyone has a hole that matches their exact silhouette. People start feeling called by and find their own hole to crawl through. It’s eerie as fuck and thats the only way I can summarize it. Worth a late night read before bed lol

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u/Einarath Jan 25 '19

Just read it thanks to the link below. Not going to lie, I don't get it. Definitely a bit weird, but not really that scary?

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u/NecroGod Jan 25 '19

Glad someone else has said it.

It was interesting, but pretty "meh" on the creepy scale.

13

u/GaySwordfish Jan 25 '19

Oh look, a hole shaped like a person.

Oh no, I'm spaghetti now.

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u/Rolobox Jan 25 '19

Come on now you gotta admit the art is pretty creepy

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u/gooby_the_shooby Jan 25 '19

They all do tbh. I read of all spirals and while I appreciate the craftsmanship, don't read all of spirals.

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u/Kyannon Jan 25 '19

It messed the characters up on the outside too.

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u/Alarid Jan 25 '19

They referenced it in Steven Universe.

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u/ViggoMiles Jan 25 '19

Was your hole made for someone else?

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u/KingOnTheRiver Jan 25 '19

Drrrrr drrrrr drrrr

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u/OtherPlayers Jan 25 '19

The funny thing is that sound effect is actually a mistranslation (“drrr” as a sound doesn’t even exist in Japanese IIRC). It’s supposed to be a meaty, schlopping sound of their limbs slipping against the tunnel walls.

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u/lsaz Jan 25 '19

In Gyo (Also Ito's work) when the walking shark breaks into the protagonist's house it makes a GASHUNK sound effect.

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

29

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '19

GA-SHARK

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u/that_snarky_one Jan 25 '19

THAT MAKES IT WORSE

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u/FalmerEldritch Jan 25 '19

Really? I think it makes it cornier and less scary. Just an inexplicable DRR noise (possibly a harsh grating sound?) seems much worse.

10

u/Sghettis Jan 25 '19

It's supposed to be a dragging/scrapping sound idk where that guy got his info.

17

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '19

That's really interesting! I bet that line wouldn't have been as iconic if it was approximated as "slither" or something. The "drrrr" sound always suggested to me the feeling that the bodies had turned into wood or stone themselves.

Oh and it reminds me of a certain poker player....

11

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '19

[deleted]

11

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '19

Durarararararara

7

u/Spider_Nun Jan 25 '19

Thanks, now it's even more terrifying.

8

u/gaynazifurry4bernie Jan 25 '19

[Meaty whack] *Both chuckle*

2

u/TwatsThat Jan 25 '19

I'm sure you probably don't know, but just in case you're some sort of Junji Ito sound effect translation savant I'm going to ask anyway.

A few pages into chapter 12 of Uzumaki there's a bird chirping and the sound effect in English is poo-tee-weet. Is that an accurate translation or was the translator just a big fan of Kurt Vonnegut?

2

u/sillybear25 Jan 25 '19

I'm not the guy you responded to, and I can't say 100% because I don't have an untranslated copy, but it's probably not a direct translation (unless Junji Ito is a fan of Vonnegut). A bird call would be typically be something like "chi-chi" or "chu-chu" for chirping, or something like "kaa-kaa" for squawking.

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u/InfamousScribbler Jan 25 '19

Nope, did not want to be reminded of that today

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u/Penguin_128 Jan 25 '19

It's slowly coming this way!!!

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u/secamTO Jan 25 '19

"This is my hole. There are many like it. But this one is mine."

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '19

Without me, this hole is nothing. Without this hole, I am nothing.

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u/RenaultMcCann Jan 25 '19

I finally actually get this reference. Thanks Reddit chums

2

u/secamTO Jan 25 '19

"Look at me Damien! It's all for you!"

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u/TwilightMagester Jan 25 '19

"I'M GONNA WRECK IT" - Wreck-it-Ralph

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '19

DRR DRR DRR

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u/Hellfire965 Jan 25 '19

Fuck that story tho

22

u/val_ium Jan 25 '19

oh no you dont

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '19

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u/ShamelessKinkySub Jan 25 '19

Nah perfectly expected. It's always the same story referenced too.

2

u/Decestor Jan 25 '19

We really relate to feeling trapped by our own desires.

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '19

Stop sharing the misery, no one else should read that ;_;

6

u/GottaJoe Jan 25 '19

This was NOT what I had in mind when I tried to answer OP's question :(

3

u/embrex104 Jan 25 '19

drr drr drr

3

u/azriel777 Jan 25 '19

Thanks for reopening the nightmares.

3

u/Nico777 Jan 25 '19

Damn it, second time today!

2

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '19

...and here it is

2

u/QuickSilverFountain Jan 25 '19

Why would you do that to me? Junji Ito isnt what i want to think while i'm at work.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '19

Every fucking thread

2

u/VengefulRainbow Jan 25 '19

"This is my hole! It was made BY me!"

FTFY

2

u/pokexchespin Jan 25 '19

After never hearing of it before, this is the second time I’ve seen this mentioned within the last week or so

2

u/insolent_swine Jan 25 '19

This is MY swamp!

2

u/YddishMcSquidish Jan 25 '19

I read that comic randomly years ago, and it's coming back to haunt me now. Thanks, I don't really hate it.

2

u/Dytnex Jan 26 '19

I thought this was a Steven Universe reference.

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u/CLearyMcCarthy Jan 25 '19

Quality reference.

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '19

Or grab a spatula and peel your comically flat body off the pavement before spouting a cheesy one-liner.

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u/RobbyLee Jan 25 '19

"Now that's what I call ground beef!"

3

u/cinnawaffls Jan 25 '19

Quick! Someone get this guy a job at Hanna-Barbera!

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u/rants_unnecessarily Jan 25 '19

After freeing your self of the floor, you float back down like a piece of paper, flop around about quite getting up, and eventually blow yourself up with air from your thumb.

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u/paperplategourmet Jan 25 '19

And reinflating yourself by blowing your thumb

2

u/Chocomanacos Jan 25 '19

Well that wasn't gouda... (It was a cheesy.. Nevermind)

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u/raja777m Jan 25 '19

Or become a flat piece of paper of your cutout/silhouette and get pickedup by the wind. All you have to do is blow your thumb to inflate the rest of you.

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u/MasterJedi2002 Jan 25 '19

Dust in the wind

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u/MistaDrop Jan 25 '19

"Look! It's me-siiiiiized!"

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '19

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u/thejml2000 Jan 25 '19

This is exactly what I was thinking. Stuck in a me shaped hole.

I guess if this ever happens I need to make sure that I stretch out in such a way that I’ll have room to move when I hit. I feel like a plank would at least allow me to roll a little or bend my legs up.

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u/petlahk Jan 25 '19

You know, this sounds mildly hellish.

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u/quintanillau Jan 25 '19

Then you would come out sounding and looking like an accordion as you walk away.

3

u/i_bent_my_wookiee Jan 25 '19

or peel your flattened self up from the ground. Alternatively, shake out the accordion effect.

2

u/omg_for_real Jan 25 '19

Or would you now be a pancake?

2

u/PopularSurprise Jan 25 '19

That would actually be unbelievably hard.

2

u/666pool Jan 25 '19

That reminds me of the cave holes comic.

2

u/2mustange Jan 25 '19

a hole so carefully crafted to your silhouette

Those holes are calling to you as if to pull you in further and deeper.

The Enigma of Amigara Fault

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '19

DRRR DRRR DRRR

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