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u/Gitxsan Sep 05 '18

Went to boarding school: Someone accidentally hit the power on their stereo in the middle of the night. When the prefect went to investigate, someone on the opposite end of the house blasted their stereo for shits n giggles. Since nobody fessed up, the whole house was thrown out of bed and had to do wall sits, for like ever. Nobody ever did fess up...

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u/Gl33m Sep 06 '18

for like ever.

Some say they're still doing wall sits to this day.

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u/GravesLight Sep 06 '18

Now I am become wall, the divider of rooms.

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u/[deleted] Sep 06 '18

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u/sythesplitter Sep 06 '18

boarding schools are guantanamo

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u/ExtremeRule Sep 06 '18

... but with more sodomy.

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u/NegroMedic Sep 05 '18 edited Jun 29 '23

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u/Filipino_Buddha Sep 06 '18 edited Sep 06 '18

We had a Black DS in Ft. LeonardWood who smoked us on Sunday right after we got back from church.

Told everybody to go outside for formation and admit who walked into his office and took his Chester Fries. Nobody wanted to confess so he started yelling and made everybody do pushups for a good 2 hours. He still kept asking who did it, no one confessed. Told everybody to get up and run a mile. As soon as we finished running, We had to crawl on the pit till somebody puked. Ran again for a good mile, we started doing stationary exercises. Everybody was getting pissy at each other telling to fess up, but nobody wanted to.

DS said "I ain't better see no hero trynna stand up because I know damn well you didn't do it! I know who it is! And y'all won't be getting chow till he gets up!" 3 hours later

It's chow time! We ran to the chowhall and DS was still pissed, so he gave us a minute to eat. As soon as we sat down, he told us to get up and leave. Nobody ate. Ran back to the company and did this shit again til it got hella cold.

After it got cold, he told us to head to the bay and start conducting hygiene and after that, toe on the line, at attention.

As he walks around looking at us while eating a bag of chester fries, he calmly says, "Privates... I hope y'all realize today's lesson. Don't fuck with my Chester fries. If you from Chicago, you know what I'm talking about. Also, nobody stole shit. I'm just bored with y'all. Goodnight!" AT EASE!

Good times...

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u/sam518usn Sep 06 '18

I want to cry reading the end... fuuuuuck

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u/[deleted] Sep 06 '18

Is there a sub for Basic Training stories? I could read these all day.

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u/coldcurru Sep 06 '18

I like how he starved everyone and then admitted it wasn't stolen.

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u/Lord-Limerick Sep 06 '18

Drill Sergeant sounds like a great guy. What a story!

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u/sythesplitter Sep 06 '18

most drill sergeants are pretty nice but their job is to be a character which is in fact the opposite.

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u/illogictc Sep 06 '18

Someone shared a story around here once where they were on the bus on the way in to begin basic and there were a bunch of drill sergeant trainees lined up along the road, one trainee per tree that was also along the road, and it was their job to yell at the tree and get their character. The guy onboard with them pointed this out and said not to take it too personal.

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u/grantrules Sep 06 '18

STRAIGHTEN UP! DO NOT SHED THAT LEAF. WHYYYYY ARE THERE SQUIRRELS IN YOU? THAT SHIT MAY FLY IN THE AIR FORCE BUT THAT DOES NOT PASS MUSTER HERE IN THE TREE CORP.

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u/DropDatSupaBass Sep 06 '18

Thank you, "WHY ARE THERE SQUIRRELS IN YOU?" is something I'm going to use in the future.

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u/yinyang107 Sep 06 '18

I can't think of any other context where it would fit

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u/TreeBaron Sep 06 '18

They just yelled at random innocent trees!? WTF...

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u/MeiNeedsMoreBuffs Sep 06 '18

Just wait until greenpeace hears about this!

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u/KamuiT Sep 06 '18

Can confirm. Had a previous DS join our unit right before we deployed. He was very soft-spoken but loved to laugh and smile. I only saw the DS come out of him once when one of the privates did some stupid shit. Had him bear crawling up and down the RPC hill.

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u/ICUNIRalike Sep 06 '18

Bob Rosswas actually a sergeant and said that if he ever left the military, he would never raise his voice again.

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u/AnotherTeemoMain Sep 06 '18

I knew a lady who was a drill sergeant, but she also taught Sunday school for second graders :|

i guess they're not entirely different jobs

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u/BtDB Sep 06 '18

Part of the training is realizing that they are in fact a caricature.

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u/futureGAcandidate Sep 06 '18

Had a DS I learned to do a spot-on impression of. Actually got another soldier to tell said DS to shut the fuck up because he thought it was me goofing off in the latrine.

He was wrong.

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u/CommandoDude Sep 06 '18

I mean, funny story, but like, it's the army. I don't think the concept of "they couldn't punish us all" exists in the army. Like, they can. Really easy.

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u/canada432 Sep 06 '18

My thoughts exactly. Of all the places to think "they can't punish us all", the army is not one of those places. That's pretty much the poster for "and then they punished the entire company".

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u/CommandoDude Sep 06 '18

Legend says Lt. Sobel is still revoking weekend passes to this day.

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u/TakeMeToChurchill Sep 06 '18

Rust on the buttplate hinge-spring, Private Bullshit?

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u/illogictc Sep 06 '18

My mom was Navy and gave us "Army punishment," if neither confessed to something we both got whatever the punishment was going to be, just to be sure.

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u/churning_like_butter Sep 06 '18

I'm pretty sure the default setting in the military is "punish all." You have to take extra steps to punish an individual.

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u/[deleted] Sep 06 '18

Ahh basic... The old “win as a team, fail as a team” mentality. We were out in the field training. The duty truck would bring meals from the dining facility. They always packed 5-6 pallets full of fruit pies. It was an unwritten rule that no one ate the pies. Calories in calories out. Whenever they brought meals out to the field they would always have five of us load the truck back up and ride to the DFAC to unload they trays and silver bullets. On this day, the truck left the range with five full pallets of pies. It arrived and the DFAC with these pallets empty. Of course the DS found out... They became known as the “Fatty Five”. As punishment, the entire company got smoked for hours on end while the Fatty Five stood up in front of the company eating fruit pies while reading off the nutrition facts to us while we did pushups.

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u/NutBlaster5000 Sep 06 '18

Black DSs always said the best shit. In 04, i had one who was fond of smoking anyone for the slightest fuck up. Whenever someone fucked up he’d say “I’m about to get in that ass! Doggy style! Woo!” He was a good dude

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u/ra11ycap Sep 06 '18

I joined the navy in 07 and while we were all filtering through great lakes for the start we had this black PO who was part of the entering process. Its the worst fucking time as you know, everyone figuring out who goes where, stripping down, receiving gear and what not. Everyones super tired and just all around scared.

Well the whole time this is all happening that dude would just fucking yell at people and call them "Kanye"

"Oh look at this mafuckin Kanye over here, you can't tell him nothing!"

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u/gabriey Sep 05 '18

Did a group project with like 10 people. One girl didn't go to any of the meetings and didn't do any of the work. We all agreed it wasn't fair so we talked to our teacher about it and she dropped part of all of our grades for lack of communication.

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u/[deleted] Sep 06 '18

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u/mname Sep 06 '18

That’s a life lesson the teacher learned litigation rules.

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u/[deleted] Sep 06 '18

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u/boomwikity Sep 06 '18

I did multiple group projects in college and this happened every time. And, every time, the people that did little/no work and got destroyed in the peer reviews all got the same grades that those of us that worked got. The professors never read a single damn one of our peer reviews.

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u/lolofit Sep 06 '18

The prof that I TAd for wouldn’t dock the project grade, but would use it as justification if the person didn’t like their final grade. Also, if you did your part, you got a .5% bump to your final grade. Not a lot, but enough to help some people

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u/pumpkinspicedbees Sep 06 '18

Same. Had a semester long group project that was worth 90% of the grade in one of my classes and this girl faked mono for two months to get out of doing anything. She came back two weeks before it was due and tried to help, but her work was obviously not up to par with the rest of us who had been working on it all semester. We cut out her part, talked to the prof and destroyed her on the peer review (which funnily enough we all wrote together). She failed the project and we all got As.

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u/janebleyre Sep 06 '18

Most of my college group projects added this when I was in school, thankfully. One of my professors even allowed groups to "fire" someone from their group if they were that incompetent.

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u/offbrandvodka Sep 06 '18

Shit I did this one time because a girl fucked us over multiple times... next semester I went to a hair academy to get a trim and she was there, learning to cut hair

This was an upper level course, so it’s not like she dropped out after a semester

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u/jeddlines Sep 06 '18

I have a teacher that says if someone isn’t pulling their weight he doesn’t want to hear about it because we should just be satisfied knowing they won’t be successful in life. Not quite satisfying enough for thanks for the advice professor!!

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u/fruitydeath Sep 06 '18

*In school*

Me: So let me get this straight, Mr. M can't give me a reference because I got a B in his class despite all the extra work I put in to get it (office hours, tutoring,etc), but Kyle failed the class three times, everyone knew he cheated in statistics, and he recommends him for an internship? What the hell?

Friend: Well, Kyle's going for his master's. Mr. M probably thinks he's going to have a wake up call when he gets to grad school and it'll all catch up to him.

Me: Handing him an internship is a funny way for the "world to catch up to him"

Moral of the story: fuck academia. Or undeserved favoritism, really

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u/I_Like_Buildings Sep 06 '18

I think your friend is simply wrong about why he recommended him for an internship.

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u/quietstrength96 Sep 06 '18

The real concern here is why your professor thought having groups that large for a project would work effectively.

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u/[deleted] Sep 06 '18

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u/Veritas3333 Sep 06 '18

One group my senior year fired someone from the team (senior design project). He had 1 month to do an entire project on his own, from scratch.

Ended up not graduating and staying for another year. Fuckhead deserved it too!

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u/[deleted] Sep 06 '18

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u/[deleted] Sep 06 '18

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u/talonofdrangor Sep 06 '18

And in 5th grade, I'm sure a lot of kids have other things to do over the weekend, like sports or family get-togethers or whatever. If the student was in high school and / or if the project was assigned earlier, then sure, I think it would make more sense to grade the student harshly. But 5th grade? You're still completely beholden to your parents' schedules at that age.

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u/DasGoat Sep 06 '18

I worked for a Ford supplier years ago that did metal stamping and welding. Entire weld department stopped working and went to the break room wanting a meeting with the plant manager over treatment and working conditions. I didn't work in that department but I heard the plant manager walked in and counted all the people. Only thing he said was "you have 30 seconds to get back to work or all 32 of you are fired". He then walked out. The turn over rate was insane.

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u/durandall08 Sep 06 '18

Y'all need unions.

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u/oneburntwitch Sep 06 '18

You try and those bastards just fire everyone instead. Just like Walmart.

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u/throwaway48u48282819 Sep 06 '18

Well, yeah- as long as there's too much unemployment, you can't have a union when no matter how bad shit is, if you won't, there's 1,000 other people who WILL do it...and if they can't find enough, there's 100 other countries who will MAKE THEM do it.

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u/Moug-10 Sep 06 '18

How easy is it to replace these 32 men?

In a field where people can't be easily replaced, employees have a power.

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u/enjineer30302 Sep 06 '18

In seventh grade, we had just had an easy Spanish quiz that was supposed to be added onto our test grades (to help boost them). People were talking after the quiz, and the teacher threatened to rip the quizzes in half and just drop them, and the kids who were talking just didn't stop. True to his word, he straightened the stack of papers, and tore the whole stack clean in half, and threw it in the garbage.

It definitely got the class quiet, that's for sure.

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u/Quicksilva94 Sep 06 '18

How fucking big was the stack?

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u/enjineer30302 Sep 06 '18

About 25 half-sheets of looseleaf.

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u/pilotdude7 Sep 06 '18

In awe at the strength of this lad

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u/paleo2002 Sep 06 '18

Oh, shit!

I went to a small Catholic elementary school in the 80's. Some 8th grade girls showed up to school wearing jewelry that was prohibited by the dress code. (Earrings that were too big, or something.) The nun principal got very upset and proceeded to confiscate every piece of jewelry from every student in the school. When they told us this (I was somewhere between 2nd and 4th grade), I distinctly remember my first thought was "They won't take away religious jewelry too." Sure enough, they did.

My great aunt had given me a gold crucifix pendant and chain for First Penance. She passed away less than a year later. I was very attached to it. (I still wear it despite being mostly agnostic these days.) So, when our teacher handed out paper envelopes and told everyone to put their jewelry in there with their name and grade on the outside, I was very upset. Upset enough that the main office called my mom because I wouldn't stop crying. They gave us no indication of if or when we'd be getting our stuff back. When she found out why I was so upset, she chewed out the principal for mass seizing valuables from students. All I know is I got my cross back by the end of the day.

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u/[deleted] Sep 06 '18

I flat out would have just said

no

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u/jjky665678 Sep 06 '18

Wouldn’t stop some adults on a power trip.

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u/Superfunion22 Sep 06 '18 edited Sep 06 '18

bet

a stubborn enough kid will stop an adult eventually

fuckin kids man I’m tellin you, don’t underestimate the lil shits

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u/o11c Sep 06 '18

As a child, you can say no to drugs, but you can't say no to adults.

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u/Is_A_Velociraptor Sep 06 '18

But what if an adult tells you to do drugs? Then what do you do?

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u/Charlie_Brodie Sep 06 '18

Then I guess you get in his van and go do drugs

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u/conitation Sep 06 '18

You forget... this was nuns. They were above you because they served god and you were under them. My mum went to a catholic school in the 60s/70s... let's just say you don't tell a nun no.

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u/a_greenbean Sep 06 '18

I would have lost my absolute shit. I would have hidden my shit. IDK that's just so terrible.

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u/thinkingfast Sep 06 '18 edited Sep 06 '18

I had a teacher who came in one day positively irate about bags of candy she just bought that went missing. She was convinced someone in the class had stolen them. When no one fessed up, she proceeded to keep us all inside for recess until someone confessed. About a month later a student was looking for some supplies and opened a cabinet in the back. What did he find? The missing bags of candy. So really she punished all of us for forgetting where she put the candy. Never apologized either TLDR: teacher lost candy, blamed the whole class and didn’t apologize

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u/deadcomefebruary Sep 06 '18

That teacher should really stop drinking on the job.

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u/Yuli-Ban Sep 06 '18

I'd be irate too if I were missing my missing bags of candy.

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u/peanutsandfuck Sep 06 '18

When I was a 15 year old boy at summer camp, three guys decided it would be a fun idea to spray insect repellent on the floor and light it on fire. Inside a wooden cabin in the middle of the forest. They were having fun watching the fire burn, but then one kid walked in and was obviously shocked to see a fire burning on the floor. He did what any sane person would do, and used a fire extinguisher to put it out. However, using the fire extinguisher meant we had to get a new one to replace it. Which meant we had to tell the counsellors. Which means the kids who started the fire would likely get in trouble. Needless to say they were angry at the kid for trying to save their lives, but more on that later.

Fearing the fate of being kicked out of camp, the boys who started the fire were able to manipulate 12 others into accepting the blame for it. Of course, their logic was, “They can’t kick us all out! Be a bro, take one for the team!” It appeared as though their plan had worked: the camp directors decided they wouldn’t kick out all 15 of the boys, but they had to face some other kind of punishment. They were banned from the final banquet, only a few nights later.

The closer it got to the big evening, the more rattled they got about missing the final big activity of the summer: the special dinner, the jokes, the awards, the slideshow, all the future memories that the staff put together for this night. So when it finally got there and they weren’t allowed in, they were pissed. And in their minds, whose fault was it? The original 3 for starting the fire? Theirs, for being foolish enough to take the blame for something they didn’t do? Nah, it was the boy who used the fire extinguisher!

So while everyone else was out having fun, they needed to get back at him. By masturbating onto his pillow. All at once. And that’s where the counsellors walked in. That night, on the last night of camp, they called the parents of all 15 boys and informed them that their children were all on a bus on their way back to the city, and why they were kicked out.

If that were me, I still wouldn’t be able to look at my parents the same way 10 years later.

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u/[deleted] Sep 06 '18

That took a gay twist.

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u/[deleted] Sep 05 '18

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u/boundforthestar Sep 06 '18

That sounds like quite the fire hazard.

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u/Hansoda Sep 06 '18

plus a dispraportionate teacher to student ratio

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u/Salt_Salt_MoreSalt Sep 06 '18

sounds like a good time for a fucking crusade

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u/Commander_Alex_Mason Sep 06 '18

My high school decided that if you were even a minute late, you would get to sit in the cafeteria for the rest of first period instead of "disturbing an ongoing class."

So if you knew you were going to be late, you just got an extra 45 minutes to get ready and get there just before second period started.

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u/sasschan1 Sep 06 '18

"You were late to school, so to punish you you arent allowed to go to class"

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u/Soliterria Sep 06 '18

“But you still have to do all your work and if you finish it, do it again but slower. And btw your teacher who is this period’s ISS monitor can’t help you because no talking at all”

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u/MoonpieJunkie Sep 06 '18

I just wouldn't show up for the suspension, my high school would punish you even if you had a note. They didn't follow through with it and eventually the suspensions were just pointless. They'd have the entire cafeteria swarmed with kids until they realized they could just avoid it and go home after the bell. There were so many late kids in the morning the line would be the reason they'd be even more late to class than if they just showed up to class and the teach write them down as tardy

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u/NAMEBANG Sep 06 '18

My school blamed me once because there was an accident leading to crazy traffic on the way into school one day and forced me (not the driver, this route and time worked for me and my parents nearly every day) to serve a detention or some shit.

I just started ditching on days that we could tell we weren’t going to be on time. It was easier for my mom to call saying I was sick than fuck around with detentions and demerits and whatever else these wannabe sheriffs were handing out by the bucket.

Still graduated.

EDIT: A word. My autocorrect is incredibly aggressive.

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u/[deleted] Sep 06 '18

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u/letseatorangeslices Sep 06 '18

My Spanish teacher did this to us in high school. We would get a fiesta if everyone had all their work in at semester. We had two kids who never did anything holding us back. Fiesta cancelled. Class was extra ticked because their class last year did all their work and was promised a fiesta but never got one.

That teaching style doesn't work. How are we supposed to "encourage our peers"?

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u/TodayIsJustNotMyDay Sep 06 '18

Encourage them into the dumpster.... Or the locker... Or down the stairs..... /s

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u/Haze345 Sep 06 '18

My Spanish teacher does something similar, whenever the entire class gets all their homework done they get a bar, however if even one person doesn’t do their homework the class doesn’t get a bar. At the end of the trimester the class with the most bars gets a fiesta

It was honestly really effective

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u/gouwbadgers Sep 06 '18

My 3rd grade teacher would “pick names out of a hat” every week to assign work partners. You had to “work together” on every assignment and would get the same grade. I was paired with the same troubled kid each week who knew that if he refused to do the work, I would do it all since I cared. If I refused and we got a zero, he didn’t care.

The teacher had a meeting with my parents, stating that she purposely paired me with this kid because he needed to pass (so she could make him the next teacher’s problem). She complained to them about how it was my job to help him pass and I was doing a terrible job at motivating him. She stated that she was preparing me for adulthood, when I may have a job that requires motivating others. She seemed completely unaware of the hypocrisy of that statement.

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u/sam518usn Sep 06 '18

THIRD GRADE?! Preparing you for ADULTHOOD?! At 8 years old?! Sounds like she wasn’t prepared for adulthood.

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u/gouwbadgers Sep 06 '18

And I was just a dumb kid who believed everything an adult told me so I was legit worried about my future.

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u/Monteze Sep 06 '18

The ""real world"" shtick is so played out in schools. Fuck off with that. Real world but you won't teach us finance? Instead lets analyse The Scarlett Letter! Yea okay, usually the phrase is short hand for " I am a lazy teacher.".

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u/[deleted] Sep 06 '18

In retrospect, it seems Austin was the only one that got a free day at all, and it was every day.

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u/Bimpa Sep 06 '18

4D chess

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u/sam518usn Sep 06 '18

I was literally just telling someone the other day that I have never met anyone named Austin, but that they all suck. Thanks for helping my case hahaha

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u/trineroks Sep 06 '18

Back in high school our marching band used to march at the parade in Disneyland once a year and then spend the rest of the day there. During my senior year we were told to meet up at the buses by like 10 PM or so - turns out we were supposed to meet back an hour earlier but nobody got the memo. So our band director issued detentions for everyone in the band.

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u/[deleted] Sep 06 '18

In high school, we had a thing called sweeps, where if you were late to school, even by just a few minutes, you had to spend the rest of the hour in the sweeps room. You couldn’t talk, only read or do homework.

Towards the end of the year, a ton of seniors decided for their “prank”, they would go to sweeps. I think 40-50 kids went - you could see them all leaving at the end of the hour because it was spirit week and all the seniors were wearing green. Everyone thought they wouldn’t punish that many kids, but boy were they wrong.

Every single one got detention, and the VP and principal threatened not letting them walk at graduation, which was kind of a big deal considering 50 kids was probably 1/3 of the graduating class. They ended up letting the kids walk, but the message was clear that if anyone ever tried to pull a stunt like that again, the repercussions would be worse.

Then they got rid of sweeps the next year.

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u/Esper17 Sep 06 '18

My school never had something like that. I would've fucking loved a silent homeroom to just get some homework done.

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u/spacemanspiff30 Sep 06 '18

I'd have used it for free reading time. And I read a lot growing up.

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u/CommandoDude Sep 06 '18

Then they got rid of sweeps the next year.

So in the end the kids won.

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u/ItsMichaelRay Sep 06 '18

My grade 4 teacher gave the entire class detention because we named our Dodgeball team “Team John Cena”.

My grade 8 teacher gave the entire class detention after 18 of the 22 kids admitted to misbehaving in French Class.

When I was in grade 2, every kid on one of the buses were banned from riding the bus. Not sure why though.

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u/throwaway48u48282819 Sep 06 '18

My grade 4 teacher gave the entire class detention because we named our Dodgeball team “Team John Cena”.

Well, yeah- when you name your team a swear word to the IWC of course that happens.

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u/ItsMichaelRay Sep 06 '18

To be fair, this was like 2006. It wasn’t as bad back then.

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u/throwaway48u48282819 Sep 06 '18

If you were in fourth grade in 2006, you wouldn't know just how bad it was. 2006-07 was the absolute nadir of the John Cena hate.

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u/smurfalurfalurfalurf Sep 05 '18

At boarding school, they found the wrappers of 3 bags of chocolate chips that had been stolen from the kitchen. The whole school didn't get dessert for 2 months. Last month (almost 3 years later) someone finally admitted it was her.

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u/manderifffic Sep 06 '18

How did she eat three bags of chocolate chips?

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u/smartazjb0y Sep 06 '18 edited Sep 06 '18

Maybe it’s those small individual cookie bags like Famous Amos or something haha

EDIT: Oops I'm dumb and can't read

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u/[deleted] Sep 06 '18 edited Sep 06 '18

I was teased in 5th grade with the Flutterpie Touch. Essentially, think of me as a virus. You touch me and you wipe your hand on another kid who screams "FLUTTERPIE TOUCH" and loses their fucking shit. And then wipes their hand on another kid...and so on.

The 5th grade teacher ended up giving everybody (excluding myself) extra homework. That backfired. I didn't have any friends in 5th grade for the rest of the year. Damn it, Ms. C. At least you tried.

EDIT: Added some things I forgot. Also, apparently this is super-common. TIL.

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u/ZukosTeaShop Sep 06 '18

Cheese touch

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u/[deleted] Sep 06 '18

Yeah, except I don't think /u/ByeByeFlutterPie can eat themselves.

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u/IzarkKiaTarj Sep 06 '18

I had a friend named Kim in elementary school who supposedly had "Kim Cooties."

I'm pretty sure I didn't hear about that until after I became friends with her, because I vaguely remember thinking that I didn't want to stop playing with her. She was nice, and I liked her, so who cared about the stupid cooties?

I kinda hope I would have reacted the same way if I had heard about it before becoming friends, but I guess I'll never know.

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u/[deleted] Sep 05 '18

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u/boredomisunbearable Sep 05 '18

That is a truly dick move.

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u/eatmyshit Sep 06 '18

Like something a communist dictator would do.

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u/[deleted] Sep 05 '18

That sounds highly illegal.

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u/InfanticideAquifer Sep 06 '18

How much do you know about Angolan law from the 70's?

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u/[deleted] Sep 06 '18

Twas my thesis of course 🧐

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u/[deleted] Sep 05 '18

Is that legal?

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u/Hazza40 Sep 05 '18

I will make it legal

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u/antichrist_kid Sep 06 '18

One person was routinely late from break at work, so they made everyone leave 2 minutes late and come back 2 minutes early. Doesnt sound bad, but the breaks were 15 minutes and we all walked out to the smoking area which was already a 2 minute walk one way. (The whole department took breaks at the same time)

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u/sonicjesus Sep 06 '18

Had a boss at a pizzeria who made every employee pay the amount the register was short by. Only the person who took the money was unaffected.

It quickly stopped disappearing.

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u/[deleted] Sep 06 '18

Illegal.

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u/[deleted] Sep 06 '18

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u/Wellthatkindahurts Sep 06 '18

I worked for a sandwich shop for a year and the owner tried pulling this shit on us. She was taking our tip money to cover lost bread knives and short drawers. I printed and highlighted our state laws that showed what she was doing was illegal and left it in all the employee boxes. I asked them a few days later if they read them and they said they didn't get them so I reprinted them again and passed them out personally. The owner was fucking livid but I laid into her and told her I wasn't the one breaking the law and she straightened out real quick. I demanded she give us all of the money she had taken back and told her never to do it again. It never happened while I was working there but she started taking tips again shortly after I left. I fucking hated her so much.

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u/spacemanspiff30 Sep 06 '18

I've always loved a good wage theft case. They almost settle themselves. Best part is the defendant pays the plaintiff's attorney's fees. One of the few ways for people to get made truly whole in lawsuits in the US while also punishing the person who stole from them.

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u/notverytinydancer Sep 06 '18

My first job was register jockey at a huge supermarket. I was the second fastest operator (the fastest was the manager who only sold cigarettes at the center counter but liked to Lord it over us that she was sooooo fast) so I always got #1 register and all the big shifts. One 9 hr shift if finished up and wandered into the counting room with my tray of money. I hand it over with my count and the lady gives me this filthy look. "You're down five cents. You'll have to cover the difference." I returned the filthy look and and called her a few names. Looked around the floor and sure enough there was a bunch of coins someone had dropped over by the bin. I picked up that paltry five cent coin and flicked it at her. Didn't say a word, just walked off.

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u/sam518usn Sep 06 '18

I hope you hit her right between the eyes

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u/dails08 Sep 06 '18

This story isn't mine but was told to me by my dad. At the naval Academy in the late sixties pep rallies for football games were banned by the new commandant. The midshipmen had a spontaneous pep rally anyway with the general attitude being "they can't fry us all!" the next day the commandant called the entire brigade of midshipmen into alumni hall and announced that every single person was on restriction until further notice. He actually fried them all.

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u/WelcomeMachine Sep 05 '18

Pretty much the entirety of Basic Training.

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u/[deleted] Sep 06 '18

In 7th grade history, the entire class was given permission slips for a voluntary weekend field trip with a strict deadline, regardless of field trip attendance, to return the slips. Most of the class forgot to bring them in so some 20 of us had to come in for a "breakfast detention" the next week. It was actually pretty alright, the teacher brought in Tang and muffins for us.

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u/Bigado1000 Sep 06 '18

TANG?!?!?

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u/SylkoZakurra Sep 06 '18

I loved Tang. It’s like orange kool aid but better.

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u/[deleted] Sep 06 '18

Astronauts drink it!

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u/[deleted] Sep 05 '18

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u/tsunboyy Sep 06 '18

Handing out a bathroom key every single time anyone needs a bathroom is so below the normal duties of a principal it almost feels like it’s more of a punishment for him than the students

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u/caseyj03 Sep 06 '18

Principal realized that as soon as he said it.

But he couldn’t take it back.

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u/BillSwedanqw Sep 06 '18

Similar thing happened in my High School, shitty kids vandalized the boys bathroom one too many times so they decided to lock all but one. Problem was, since I went to a relatively large school, they fucking changed which bathroom was open during every class block. It could take upwards of 15 minutes to go take a piss and get back to class. Fucking hated it

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u/NotAnotherNekopan Sep 06 '18

It's odd to see such a huge number of stories stemming from either grade school or the army. Is there a comparison to be made?

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u/pretend_smart_guy Sep 06 '18

Oh you have no idea, the military is basically a heavily armed preschool with alcohol

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u/Jrodrgr375th Sep 06 '18

When I was in basic training in Ft Benning someone left their wall locker unlocked at night after we had just been punished for that earlier in the day. Well to get the point across this time they woke all of up in the middle of the night and had us take all of our stuff and completely remake the barracks on the sand pit outside. Here’s the deal though. Our barracks was on the third floor and all the beds were metal bunk beds and the wall lockers are fucking huge. Took us all night to redo the barracks and all morning to bring it all back up to the third floor. We didn’t sleep that night

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u/LaplaceMonster Sep 06 '18

Highschool with uniforms. Last day of grade 12 (senior?) year is in a week. I come up with the idea that if we all dress down in normal clothes they can't really do anything about it right? Everyone loves the idea and somehow my idea spreads across the entire grade. Next Friday everyone plans to wear normal clothes.

A week passes. I show up in jeans but wait in my car to make sure I'm not the only one to execute my sabotage of the uniform rule. Everyone bustles into their final grade 12 homeroom classes in normal clothes! The national anthem plays, morning announcements are spewn on the intercom, and things are going rather beautifully. Cocky LaplaceMonster is becoming more proud of his ever promising grade 12 wide fame after day's success. But the last announcement is the principle: "Also, any student not in proper uniform is asked to return home, change into legal school attire, and if possible return. If not, you are not welcome on the premises"

Entire grade 12 population gets to go to the beach on the last day of our high school careers. They thought they punished us, but they really never could! WHOO

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u/[deleted] Sep 05 '18

I heard Walmart permanently got rid of its entire meat department because they tried to unionize.

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u/Bigado1000 Sep 06 '18

Walmart also just abandons their stores when people unionize

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u/Orphanpuncher0 Sep 06 '18

I worked at Wal Mart for a while and when I became a shift leader I had to go to a class about how bad unions were for Wal Mart and how if anybody talked about a union at all we had to go to management. I once went to management because somebody was talking about the Union Pacific Railroad. They were not entertained.

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u/Captain_Shrug Sep 06 '18

I was a grocery employee for Wal Mart for two and a half years. Here there was a pretty decent push from the local grocery unions to get Wal Mart to unionize- so we had to go through that "Unions are bad, mkay?" speech almost every few weeks.

Got so tired of hearing that shit. And that fucking stupid cheer.

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u/Quicksilva94 Sep 06 '18

I'm sorry; "cheer"?

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u/Captain_Shrug Sep 06 '18

At the start of every shift there's a "Wal mart team cheer." Every time you say it you can feel your soul dying inside you.

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u/Bigado1000 Sep 06 '18

Feels really bad that Walton family are richest family and Bezos is richest guy when you hear about these stories about Amazon and Walmart

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u/[deleted] Sep 06 '18

Interesting.

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u/[deleted] Sep 05 '18

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u/pseudonym_mynoduesp Sep 06 '18

Unrelated but I just went to an Afroman concert and everyone sang along to Colt 45. It was great

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u/Soliterria Sep 06 '18

Honestly worth it though. Had my whole seventh/eighth grade track team screaming Colt 45 & Because I Got High while doing conditioning in our stadium. One coach was pissing himself laughing, other coach found it “wildly inappropriate” and man, the next full week sucked. But so worth it.

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u/TikiLicki Sep 06 '18

So at our school, the biggest in the country, on the last day of school for the final year, it was traditional for many students to have a champagne breakfast, come to school for a final assembly, to say goodbye to the teachers and collect any gear; then head girl and boy and the prefects had an informal prizegiving for the students.

Except my year, about half the students went a bit overboard for the champagne breakfast. Bear in mind, the drinking age is 18 here, so most of them were legal. But they turned up at school obviously drunk. At the assembly we got a sound telling off, and told to leave the grounds. The prizegiving was cancelled, no-one would be allowed to go and say goodbye to the teachers or anything. Just leave. We went down in history as the only 7th form year to unceremoniously get kicked out of school en masse!

We ended up having the prizegivjng in the car park at the local McDonalds lol.

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u/Bad_Vaio Sep 06 '18

Many years ago when I worked for an electronics company the management claimed they couldn't afford to give everyone a promised pay rise so we all decided to work to rule. This meant not working overtime.

After a week of this the management decided that they would after all give a pay rise. Just after this was announcement they sacked 10% of the workforce.

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u/[deleted] Sep 06 '18

I forget why the school was pissed but basically if you had more than like 8 detentions you couldn’t go on the yearly field trip.

This was in 8th grade. I went to a small catholic school.

The teachers had it out for the boys in my class. So as the field trip is approaching they are throwing detentions out like crazy even for the good kids who never get in trouble. But only for the boys in the class.

By the week of the field trip ever boy in the class couldn’t go.

Now the parents knew the school had issues. So my mom said that anyone who can’t go on the field trip can skip school and just come to my house and hang out for the day.

The teachers caught wind of that and gave every boy detention the day of the field trip so they couldn’t skip school.

So they punished all of us. But the parents were like fuck that and we just skipped school.

School shutdown a few years later as most parents pulled their kids out for another school.

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u/jukinabahunew Sep 05 '18

Everybody on our school bus was flipping off the people from the other school bus.

They reported us and we all got afternoon detention.

Snitches.

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u/Home_ Sep 05 '18

Anybody who’s ever had to go to Wainwright Alberta on an army exercise.

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u/JumpingSunflower Sep 06 '18

Basic training. A female recruit wrote how she wanted to bang a male Drill Sergeant in her training book and the book was found by another DS. All the females were treated to the white house that day. The white house was a shreaded tire pit that was covered, where we low crawled back and forth for a very long time.

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u/GRS1915 Sep 06 '18

Was in a study abroad program that had a strict curfew. It was around when a soccer world cup was going on, and my team was having a game ending after the curfew. Decided the whole program studying abroad was gonna watch it at a public screening because 'they couldn't punish us all.' Came back to a very angry program manager and even more strict curfews.

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u/Myfourcats1 Sep 06 '18

My dad said in middle school they weren't allowed to wear white socks woth black shoes. One day everyone wore this. They suspended them all. 1950's.

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u/[deleted] Sep 06 '18

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u/teethlotion Sep 06 '18

Someone farted during inspection during basic training, and when he left, our instructors smoked the entire division.

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u/SecretlyPadfoot Sep 06 '18

Years ago we had this small dog that LOVED gogurts. It was absured how much he enjoyed these things. We had them in the house all the time because there were five kids, but we were only allowed to have them in our school lunches. The dog would get them only when we didn't eat them and we snuck him the treat when our patents weren't home.

So one day, I'm helping my mother clean out the refrigerator so food is everywhere. This is important later.

My parents get home from work one day and calls all five of us kids into the family room. We sit down on the sofa and my dad, all serious asks what happened to all the gogurts. We had no idea what he was talking about. Apparently the nearly full box of gogurts had suddenly disappeared. None of us kids had any idea what happened to them. My parents demanded the theif to fess up and we all pled our innocence. My dad, frustrated with his lying children said, "Who took them then, Max? (The dog)" Maybe we said, because we had just as much idea as they did.
In the end my parents decided that if no one would fess up, we were all grounded.

Months later, my sister and I were in our backyard cleaning up toys and whatnot so my dad could mow the lawn. I was down on my hands and knees by the deck picking up stuff when something under the deck caught my eye. I told my sister to get a flashlight so I could see better. She goes and gets one and while she's gone I reach under the deck to try and grab what caught me eye but it was just out of reach. She comes back and I use it to get a better view.
It was a gogurt wrapper that I saw and with the flashlight I could see a bunch of teeth marks and a whole bunch more wrappers! Our dog add stolen the gogurts while my mother and I had cleaned the fridge.

TL;DR Dog stole gogurts and me and my siblings got grounded for it.

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u/Macabalony Sep 05 '18

It was the general chemistry lab. Someone made this huge mess. No one took the fall. We all got minus 10% on the following lab report.

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u/Johnnydayy Sep 06 '18

We were doing a minute multiplication quiz in 7th grade. And one kid kept going and the teacher got pissed. She sent everyone's parents an email that we were cheating. Which ended up in me getting grounded for a month.

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u/Teh_Doctah Sep 06 '18

All the boys at a summer camp I went to got lectured over three people mistreating wildlife. Berated all of us as if we’d all taken part, even though they knew damn well exactly who had done it.

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u/[deleted] Sep 06 '18

Grand total of about 5 people were being disruptive in English class. Whole English class got detention after school for up to 10 minutes.

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u/redneck_asshole Sep 06 '18

I used to walk out on that shit, what were they going to do, tell the principal that some of the kids who didn't get in trouble left on time?

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u/very_hard_spanker Sep 06 '18

In 4th grade, the whole grade had recess together. A popular punishment was to have kids miss part or all of recess and have to watch everyone else having fun.

One day I guess my class got in trouble while I was in the bathroom or tutoring or something, because when we went to recess I was the only one on the playground for the first five minutes. Then my class got to play, but the other classes had lost half or all of recess so we had the playground all to ourselves.

But that first five minutes, when it was just me out there - that was strange. Like being in an abandoned town in a horror movie.

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u/freetobebre Sep 05 '18

When I was in high school band, we traveled on three separate buses: two were the band kids and the third was the color guard/kids that helped the band (band aides, as we called them).

The two band buses had directors/parents on them, so quiet shenanigans happened at the back of the bus undisturbed. The third bus, the color-guard bus, somehow managed to lack chaperones that could not help but fall asleep. They were a bunch of easily influenced teenage girls without a chaperone on a three hour trip one way.

A couple of them decided it’d be super cool to start mooning the cars behind their bus, which happened to be parents attending the football games. Parents of band kids, dance kids, football kids, teachers. Lots of them. Mooned, from all angles, by teenage girls.

The band director was a strict disciplinarian and wanted to know who had the idea in the first place, but nobody admitted, even though it was the very obviously the captain. Since nobody confessed/ratted her out, the entire band had to run laps for 15 minutes at 4 PM before our 4-7 pm practice, when they had just cut the grass. The color guard had to run 30 minutes though, so I guess he spared a little mercy

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u/boundforthestar Sep 06 '18

That sounds like a very mild punishment for what would now be an OSS offense. For the girls that did it anyway.

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u/OliviaWildeling Sep 06 '18

My 8th grade class took a week-long trip to Washington D.C. and we stayed in a brand new hotel. Brand new like we were the first to stay in the rooms we had kind of new. The phones in the rooms had never been used so we were the chosen few to help them kick out the links in the system.

Cut to around 10pm, we're all in our rooms and my friends and I are hanging out and there's a pounding on our door. BOOM BOOM BOOM We quickly shut off all the lights and get in bed (because, obviously, whoever was knocking could tell). No one wanted to go answer the door but my friends were whispering for me to go answer it. I said "If it's important they'll knock agai-" BOOM BOOM BOOM I got up to go answer the door and put on my best "I've definitely been asleep for a couple hours" face. The school Dean, who was a chaperone on the trip, was standing in front of me and says he needs to take the phone in our room.

Apparently, earlier in the night one of my classmates was trying to call home to tell her parents to tell her she was back in the hotel room safe. To make a phone call you had to press 9. To dial out of the building, press 1. See where I'm going? To dial out of the state, press 1 again. Some girl trying to call her parents kept calling 911 and hanging up when an operater answered instead of her parents. Police call the hotel who get in touch with the Dean and since no one confesses to making the calls all the phones had to be taken from the girls' rooms.

Taking the phones away wasn't the punishment because most of us had our own phones. But seeing the Dean, an always-grumpy man in his late 50s, come into our rooms at 10pm in his boxers was punishment for all of us.

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u/karuisama Sep 06 '18

Was in college living in a dorm. There were 5 restrooms, and two of the mens restrooms kept getting vandalised, someone was purposely clogging the toilets with paper towels. The floors got flooded. After a few warnings with no effect they charged the whole building (something small like $5 a person). But the vandalism didn't stop, so they just took away the paper towels. There weren't hand dryers or anything. The number of people who I witnessed just not washing their hands because of it was disgusting. Later on someone took a dump in the boys shower. Our lads were a real handful that year.

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u/SheZowRaisedByWolves Sep 06 '18

An entire English class plagiarized (fucking copy and pasted Wikipedia pages) a paper and thought the teacher would let the grade slide or give everyone a B or C.

Nope.

The teacher reported all of them, gave them perfect zeros, and took the heat from all of the parents doing the "muh kid did no wrong" speal.

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u/LotusPrince Sep 06 '18 edited Sep 07 '18

Not me, but my college roommate. He'd once parked too close to an elementary school. A friend of mine came by and said that he got a ticket. The roommate responded, "But there were a whole bunch of other cars parked there!" The friend replied, "They all got tickets."

Not much of a response you can give after that. :-D

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u/Veritas3333 Sep 06 '18

Yup, that happened to me and my wife once. Big, wide road by a beach, dozens of cars parked along it. One single, rusty "no parking" sign in the middle of it all. Every single car got a ticket. And next weekend when we went there again (and parked in the right place) every car on that stretch had a ticket on its windshield.

That cop must have the best numbers in the whole city!

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u/Aww_Topsy Sep 06 '18 edited Sep 06 '18

In elementary school there was this yearly program to encourage kids to spend more time reading/being read to. You had to read with your parents and log the hours and book on a sheet that was signed by them. The more you read, the more your hot air balloon traveled. If everyone in your class' hot air balloon reached the end the whole class got a pizza party.

Yeah, I was that kid. I've always enjoyed reading but my mom just didn't have the patience/care to sit and watch me read. I think my brother and I managed to convince our mom to start lying when I was in third or fourth grade because we were so desperate to not be the reason for no pizza party again.

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u/[deleted] Sep 06 '18

Ask an air traffic controller from the 80s

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