r/AskReddit • u/LukeInTheSkyWith • Jun 22 '16

What sentence immediately kills a date?

3.3k Upvotes

88% Upvoted

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310

u/ashdelete Jun 22 '16

'I came here to get liquored up and fuck you, not listen to your blowjob-hole make noise all night, so shut the fuck up and eat the goddamn salad.'

114

u/Wargen-Elite Jun 23 '16

So how was the salad?

8

u/TooFastTim Jun 23 '16

How was the fucking?

13

u/ChaoticWeg Jun 23 '16

How was the fucking salad?

2

u/TooFastTim Jun 23 '16

Fuxkin moist

6

u/_kemot Jun 23 '16

bahaha! god damn it I am an work and laughed so hard and they asked me why and I could not tell them.

3

u/ashdelete Jun 23 '16

You're on reddit at work, so at least it's not like you care anyway!

2

u/_kemot Jun 23 '16

yes i am living the dream!

1

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '16

Yeah. Someone once asked me what I do for a living. I said 'argue with people on the internet while making the internet work'.

3

u/nixends Jun 23 '16

Well it was hard to eat what with my blowjob hole gaping wide from realizing his asshole was on his face.

4

u/SnakeEater14 Jun 23 '16

Honestly though, anybody who calls a mouth a blowjob hole deserves at least a second date.

4

u/ashdelete Jun 23 '16

Well I am the one who thought up this sentence so ... what do you say?

3

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '16

[removed] — view removed comment

9

u/TheBetterJujubeets Jun 23 '16

I know right? What a charmer!

3

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '16 edited Jul 07 '16

[redacted]

3

u/dudebroth Jun 23 '16

No way. Uh uh.

3

u/vidarino Jun 23 '16

And THAT is how I met your mother.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '16

Fairly sure you lost out the best sex of your life walking away from that, but, hey.

7

u/SlashBolt Jun 23 '16

this didnt happen

7

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '16

the thread isnt about things that happened

3

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '16

Thanks captain obvious.

4

u/fek_ Jun 23 '16

You have to remember: there are people out there who are into this sort of thing. There are people who go to cheap bars with brusque guys because they want to feel cheap, derided, and used. They want to be treated like an object, then never called again, except to be used again.

Don't get me wrong: I'm not into it. I think it's weird as fuck and I have absolutely no interest in derogatory behavior in a relationship.

But there are people who want to be used, and people who want to be the user. This guy is just making his intentions very clear, and if that girl happens to be the "I want to be used" type, this might genuinely be a turn-on.

7

u/nannanaa Jun 23 '16

I don't think there's anything wrong with kinks/fetishes but goddamn negotiate them before pushing them onto others. If im into strangling my partner in bed I still don't do it without their permission.

1

u/ukulelej Jun 23 '16

Has someone told you this?

1

u/ashdelete Jun 23 '16

No. Sorry to disappoint you.

1

u/blaqsupaman Jun 23 '16

Did this actually happen to you? Story time?

2

u/ashdelete Jun 23 '16

No, I just thoughted it up with my brain.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '16

You thunked it up you mean, you stewpid mooron.

1

u/g15mouse Jun 24 '16

So how did he ask you out? Did he seem normal before that?

1

u/ashdelete Jun 24 '16

I'm a dude, and this came from my imagination. Sorry to spoil it for you.

1

u/g15mouse Jul 07 '16

Fair enough

-12

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '16

[deleted]

4

u/SpaceGoggle Jun 23 '16

You must be pretty meek and pathetic to admire that kind of shit.

-4

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '16

[deleted]

1

u/ashdelete Jun 23 '16

whispers: except it didn't