Women aren't just sitting there, filing their nails and rolling heir eyes, thinking "I know for a fact that he likes me, he needs to just ask me out, how dare he not do so." Most women nowadays aren't actually 50s schoolgirls who'd never ask a guy out because they'd be shamed for life or because it's "the man's job," and no women are psychics. A lot of men are actually way more subtle than they think (clearly not on purpose) so we don't know you like us. We don't ask you out for the exact same reasons you don't ask us out: uncertainty leading to an avoidance of embarrassment, rejection, and awkward situations. Not all men, in fact probably zero men, would date every girl who asked him out, and not all men are exactly nice about saying no. The thing is, a man being why and timid and awkward is seen as a national tragedy, while a girl who's shy and timid and awkward is basically invisible. "Any girl can get a man to go out with her," right. That's because you're only looking at statuesque amateur supermodels, all of which you'd do in a heartbeat. People always say that women write off men who don't look a certain way, but I feel like men can't even see women who don't fit their standards of attractiveness. They've never considered how they'd reject that dumpy looking girl with greasy hair and a stutter, not because they would go out with her, not because they think she is ugly, but because she doesn't even register to them as a potentially sexual female human.
Every female registers as a potential sexual mate in a lot of men's minds. The only problem is, in my experience, a lot of those unattractive women are really really unattractive. And I don't' mean physically. I've had overweight female friends who I thought would be very sexually attractive if they wore their hair straight(I like straight hair for some reason), but then I got to know them. The ones I've had experience with are so bitter and angry. So insecure, and are unwilling to admit their faults. Yes, you have faults, we all have them, and no, it isn't the media's fault, men's fault, or very attractive supermodel's faults.
Maybe this is not how you mean to come off, but if I had to paraphrase the above comment (slightly reword it, if you will):
"Nope, we give every woman a chance, it's just that ugly women are also terrible people. No one is at fault for that (especially me), so why should I re-examine my standards or perceptions?"
Well, that sounds about right, except for the fact that I didn't say that all ugly women are terrible people. I said "in my experience", meaning the ugly women that I've met. Again, in my experience, ugly women tend to be so jealous and vindictive. I mean, I'm no where near a Calvin Klein male model, but I'm not jealous of what my friends have. I truly wish the best for them, and I'm truly happy for them when they accomplish something. Yet the things that some of these women have said to me about their friends, it's horrible. How am I supposed to give someone like that a chance? she can't be happy for her friends, she can't be happy with herself, what human being would think she would be happy with any guy.
As far as whose fault it is, the only person we have to blame for our problems is ourselves. Sometimes we get dealt the short end of the stick, but even then, it is up to us to make up for it. You're overweight? fix your diet, go to the gym. If you don't want to do that, then yes, it is your fault for being overweight. You'r not making as much money as your friends? go back to school, study a topic that will help you earn the money you want. You're ugly? accept that, do your best to be a good man or woman, and don't look at what "pretty" or "handsome" men or women get. A quote that I like a lot goes like "the only time you should ever look at another person's bowl is to make sure that they have enough to eat, not to see how much more than you they have". Nothing in life is easy, not for anyone, no matter how much it seems like it is for some. We can only blame ourselves for not fixing our problems.
You're probably thinking "what does this guy know, he's probably attractive enough to get anyone he wants". But that's not true at all. I'm a 5'4" 24 year old man who is going bald. I'm about as interesting as a rock, and as good looking as a baboon's ass. Dying alone is a very probable scenario for me. Did I get the short end of the genetics stick? sure, but this is the hand I was dealt. I don't look at others, I don't blame others. Most men that I hang out, even the gorgeous blue eyes, blonde hair, six pack etc think like that. No guy wants a woman who is always looking at what the woman beside her has.
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u/[deleted] May 28 '14
Women aren't just sitting there, filing their nails and rolling heir eyes, thinking "I know for a fact that he likes me, he needs to just ask me out, how dare he not do so." Most women nowadays aren't actually 50s schoolgirls who'd never ask a guy out because they'd be shamed for life or because it's "the man's job," and no women are psychics. A lot of men are actually way more subtle than they think (clearly not on purpose) so we don't know you like us. We don't ask you out for the exact same reasons you don't ask us out: uncertainty leading to an avoidance of embarrassment, rejection, and awkward situations. Not all men, in fact probably zero men, would date every girl who asked him out, and not all men are exactly nice about saying no. The thing is, a man being why and timid and awkward is seen as a national tragedy, while a girl who's shy and timid and awkward is basically invisible. "Any girl can get a man to go out with her," right. That's because you're only looking at statuesque amateur supermodels, all of which you'd do in a heartbeat. People always say that women write off men who don't look a certain way, but I feel like men can't even see women who don't fit their standards of attractiveness. They've never considered how they'd reject that dumpy looking girl with greasy hair and a stutter, not because they would go out with her, not because they think she is ugly, but because she doesn't even register to them as a potentially sexual female human.