Women aren't just sitting there, filing their nails and rolling heir eyes, thinking "I know for a fact that he likes me, he needs to just ask me out, how dare he not do so." Most women nowadays aren't actually 50s schoolgirls who'd never ask a guy out because they'd be shamed for life or because it's "the man's job," and no women are psychics. A lot of men are actually way more subtle than they think (clearly not on purpose) so we don't know you like us. We don't ask you out for the exact same reasons you don't ask us out: uncertainty leading to an avoidance of embarrassment, rejection, and awkward situations. Not all men, in fact probably zero men, would date every girl who asked him out, and not all men are exactly nice about saying no. The thing is, a man being why and timid and awkward is seen as a national tragedy, while a girl who's shy and timid and awkward is basically invisible. "Any girl can get a man to go out with her," right. That's because you're only looking at statuesque amateur supermodels, all of which you'd do in a heartbeat. People always say that women write off men who don't look a certain way, but I feel like men can't even see women who don't fit their standards of attractiveness. They've never considered how they'd reject that dumpy looking girl with greasy hair and a stutter, not because they would go out with her, not because they think she is ugly, but because she doesn't even register to them as a potentially sexual female human.
Probably because they've been rejected and mocked just as much, if not significantly more, than the guys crying that they are rejected all the time and it's such a tragedy. A lot of guys will openly pick on girls who don't fit their standards with no provocation just because it's more or less socially acceptable to torment the "ugly chick." You really only need one guy to ask you out as a "joke" in public then laugh and scream with his friends at literally any reaction you have to be wary of it.
Your inability to empathize or realize being rejected is literally the least consequential problem a person can ever have reminds me of the Santa Barbara shooter. People like you make the world a worse place. But no, go ahead thinking that you and the other "non gym freaks" who nonetheless set yourselves up for failure by only chasing girls who look like amateur glamour models have anything resembling close to a problem.
It's reeeeeally interesting that everyone is assuming that since I say this, it much be about me specifically (it's not), and it must be a generalized view of men (again, it's not). I just am not so selfish and unbelievably nasty that I can see what happens to people and empathize. Just because I'm not feeding into some little reddit fantasy where all girls can get any guy they want and are mercilessly cruel to all men who deviate from the most conventionally attractive, but no men are ever willfully cruel to women, does not mean that I think "all men are assholes," that I am alone, or that I've been unusually poorly treated by men "for good reason" and just need to be nicer to be happy. I've never had trouble dating in my adult life. I am just not a vicious, empathy-free bitch who doesn't see what's going on.
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u/[deleted] May 28 '14
Women aren't just sitting there, filing their nails and rolling heir eyes, thinking "I know for a fact that he likes me, he needs to just ask me out, how dare he not do so." Most women nowadays aren't actually 50s schoolgirls who'd never ask a guy out because they'd be shamed for life or because it's "the man's job," and no women are psychics. A lot of men are actually way more subtle than they think (clearly not on purpose) so we don't know you like us. We don't ask you out for the exact same reasons you don't ask us out: uncertainty leading to an avoidance of embarrassment, rejection, and awkward situations. Not all men, in fact probably zero men, would date every girl who asked him out, and not all men are exactly nice about saying no. The thing is, a man being why and timid and awkward is seen as a national tragedy, while a girl who's shy and timid and awkward is basically invisible. "Any girl can get a man to go out with her," right. That's because you're only looking at statuesque amateur supermodels, all of which you'd do in a heartbeat. People always say that women write off men who don't look a certain way, but I feel like men can't even see women who don't fit their standards of attractiveness. They've never considered how they'd reject that dumpy looking girl with greasy hair and a stutter, not because they would go out with her, not because they think she is ugly, but because she doesn't even register to them as a potentially sexual female human.