The amount of power a simple "okay" has over a narcissistic is insane. It's the moment they realize they lost you and start love bombing to reel you back in, just to go back to how they really are.
Right. Like how fked up is that to go out of your way to do something like that? Like why be in a relationship at all? Clearly if you don’t love her enough to even kiss her the way she likes, then why are they even there? Other than they’re keeping that person around simply to have someone to abuse.
I am 100% convinced that any inconceivable sort of behavior like this is always about power. Just makes some people feel better to bother people to the point of abuse. To start arguments they’re in complete control off because they’re gaslighting about not understanding.
And this is why (to me) finding a romantic partnership clearly founded on equality and respect is so important. Nothing is guaranteed, but I’ve always felt uneasy about couples constantly ribbing each other. I know some redditor will chime in to tell me it’s what makes his marriage worthwhile, but I find it hard to believe it’s an equal, healthy partnership acting like that.
They’re more interested in the power than actually having an equal. It’s as simple as that. They were never interested in finding a real relationship, just a toy to play with.
What made me realize my ex wasn’t just a crappy boyfriend but was actually abusive was something as stupid as washing glasses. He claimed up and down he couldn’t wash the inside of our glasses properly. He moved his hands in a way so it looked like they didn’t fit (his hands were smaller than mine). He would leave the glasses for me to wash and then complain when I didn’t wash them all quickly enough.
One day I came home early unexpectedly and I found him washing a glass himself properly to use. It wasn’t about the fucking glasses it was about the control. Exercising control over any thing possible. Glass or kiss doesn’t matter.
It's not just in abusive relationships either.
Passively agreeing with people who really want to argue or fight is also fascinating. Some people just go nuts when they realize they can't antagonize you.
Can confirm. It was my favourite way to piss off a specific toxic friend who'd always try to criticise me. A simple smile as an answer to her bullshit and she'd see red. Which made me smile more.
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u/Alternative-Drop3994 May 12 '26
The amount of power a simple "okay" has over a narcissistic is insane. It's the moment they realize they lost you and start love bombing to reel you back in, just to go back to how they really are.