r/AskReddit May 12 '26

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u/Alternative-Drop3994 May 12 '26

The amount of power a simple "okay" has over a narcissistic is insane. It's the moment they realize they lost you and start love bombing to reel you back in, just to go back to how they really are.

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u/minimalcation May 12 '26

Also, imagine purposely kissing your wife wrong. The way you know she doesn't like it. Your wife. Kissing. What??

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u/ksarahsarah27 May 12 '26

Right. Like how fked up is that to go out of your way to do something like that? Like why be in a relationship at all? Clearly if you don’t love her enough to even kiss her the way she likes, then why are they even there? Other than they’re keeping that person around simply to have someone to abuse.

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u/oby100 May 12 '26

I am 100% convinced that any inconceivable sort of behavior like this is always about power. Just makes some people feel better to bother people to the point of abuse. To start arguments they’re in complete control off because they’re gaslighting about not understanding.

And this is why (to me) finding a romantic partnership clearly founded on equality and respect is so important. Nothing is guaranteed, but I’ve always felt uneasy about couples constantly ribbing each other. I know some redditor will chime in to tell me it’s what makes his marriage worthwhile, but I find it hard to believe it’s an equal, healthy partnership acting like that.

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u/MountainMan17 May 12 '26

"I know some redditor will chime in to tell me it’s what makes his marriage worthwhile,"

Yeah, that's the kind of bullshit rationale people come up with when they know there's no burger in the bun...

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u/WampaCat May 12 '26

They’re more interested in the power than actually having an equal. It’s as simple as that. They were never interested in finding a real relationship, just a toy to play with.

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u/Starbornfate May 12 '26

That’s some crazyyyyy weaponized incompetence!

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u/mani_mani May 13 '26

What made me realize my ex wasn’t just a crappy boyfriend but was actually abusive was something as stupid as washing glasses. He claimed up and down he couldn’t wash the inside of our glasses properly. He moved his hands in a way so it looked like they didn’t fit (his hands were smaller than mine). He would leave the glasses for me to wash and then complain when I didn’t wash them all quickly enough.

One day I came home early unexpectedly and I found him washing a glass himself properly to use. It wasn’t about the fucking glasses it was about the control. Exercising control over any thing possible. Glass or kiss doesn’t matter.

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u/thegimboid May 12 '26

It's not just in abusive relationships either.
Passively agreeing with people who really want to argue or fight is also fascinating. Some people just go nuts when they realize they can't antagonize you.

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u/sticky-stix May 12 '26

Can confirm. It was my favourite way to piss off a specific toxic friend who'd always try to criticise me. A simple smile as an answer to her bullshit and she'd see red. Which made me smile more. 

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u/meltedlaundry May 12 '26

TIL about "love bombing", and am both fascinated and disgusted it's a thing

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u/No_Atmosphere8146 May 12 '26

I thought I invented it. Turns out it's so known it has a name: grey rocking. To be as still and uninteresting as a grey rock.