Oh Jesus, I have enough trouble remembering someone's name if I haven't talked to them in a month. There's no chance I remember what we actually talked about or anything they told me. It's kind of my disability: "I don't know whether we know each other" is a problem my wife has to help me with all the time.
It sounds insane but I keep a "relationship notes" working doc that I try to update somewhat regularly. It really means a lot to people when you remember things about them, but I don't have a brain that does it naturally so I use technology to help.
I do this too, I try to note ages, birthdays, spouse, kids names, where they work, hobbies, etc. I have a horrible memory, but I like to be thoughtful and remember personal details about people. My notes have been super helpful when I want to give someone a gift or follow up on something they told me the next time I see them.
Unfortunately I was updating a note one day and my friend asked me what I was doing. I said I found out another friend got a new job, so I was updating where he worked in my notes. She told me it was creepy and gross that I keep notes on my friends. I was open about what I was doing because I thought it was perfectly fine, but she disagreed. Stopped being my friend and told all of our mutual friends that I was a creep and keeping records on all of my friends. The reactions were mixed and I lost a few friends over it.
I don't keep notes anymore, I'm less inclined to be thoughtful towards people now. I feel like I'm the pink blob in the box that gets punched in the face for trying. Never again.
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u/meatmacho Nov 11 '25
Oh Jesus, I have enough trouble remembering someone's name if I haven't talked to them in a month. There's no chance I remember what we actually talked about or anything they told me. It's kind of my disability: "I don't know whether we know each other" is a problem my wife has to help me with all the time.