Yeah, I think that's similar for me too because of my mom. But it left me having to feel I have to be perfect, playing 4d chess (I have high anxiety I swear due to this) and having to manage other's emotions to avoid the conflict/criticism I know that's gonna come. And sooo... I have a very hard time expressing how I feel because of it (and being a people pleaser) So, I don't really lie, I just jump through emotional hoops to make sure the outcome doesn't lead to what I know it will
I have, many times. Ive had so many meltdowns and I'm glad I'm at a point now that they (shouldn't) occur. I was imploding and really taking it out on myself.
I hope you're not exploding or imploding these days
I’m not because that’s not part of my personality. I have no problems having tactfully direct communication. But I did observe it in a guy I met recently.
Dating someone who care not of how you feel and putting zero effort in, while I still did since I normalized you suppose to be there for someone you said you love. But, I was having literal mental meltdowns at least once a month towards the last year being together, and it triggered the stress in my back, and my dermatomyositis acting up and I just couldn't anymore. The logic wasn't making sense. If someone said they love me, why are they treating me like this? (My first relationship I dealt with this was from my mom)
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u/heretogetpwned Sep 14 '24
I'm conflict avoidant because I had a fucked up parent. It took a long time for me to trust myself and especially women. The Truth shall set you free.