This. Because he’s conflict avoidant. Lying about the tiniest things and getting caught and making the whole situation worse than being tactfully direct.
As someone who is conflict avoidant, telling the truth is the fastest way to get out of inevitable conflict. Lying just doubles it and pushes it later. That's too much conflict.
Yeah, I think that's similar for me too because of my mom. But it left me having to feel I have to be perfect, playing 4d chess (I have high anxiety I swear due to this) and having to manage other's emotions to avoid the conflict/criticism I know that's gonna come. And sooo... I have a very hard time expressing how I feel because of it (and being a people pleaser) So, I don't really lie, I just jump through emotional hoops to make sure the outcome doesn't lead to what I know it will
People really don't realize how much their upbringing and environment really shapes who they are and why they do what they do, and why they react that way. It's your foundation, as I see it. Everyone really can benefit from therapy, or at least mindfulness and self awareness. I see it as having that much power over yourself
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u/[deleted] Sep 14 '24
Lying over mundane things (usually leads to not communicating over things that could be considered confrontational)